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Full Spectrum Cycling
Chewey’s Salon Chair #11 – Hockey, Bikes and a Little Excitement at the Rink
Oct 6, 2021
Chewey’s Salon Chair #11 – Hockey, Bikes and a Little Excitement at the Rink
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Transcript
0:00
[rock music] Here we go, uh, Choose Podcast number 11.
0:19
Tonight it's Brad Bergey and I sitting in the shop. Brad is actually in the salon chair for a change. Um, we're back home. We- we're gonna talk a teeny bit about clunkers. Not much, because we're...
0:31
This is, this is basically the prelude to a clunker podcast that we're gonna do within the next week or two. You're okay. All right. There we go. Yeah.
0:39
It's a prelude because we can't get everybody together, let's be honest. [laughs] Well, everybody doesn't have a bike yet. So we're- That's fair...
0:44
so tonight I'm, I'm putting Spinner's state clunker together, uh- That cool one on the stand, yeah... yeah. It's the, um, National Park Service ones.
0:55
And then I'll get that together and I'll get that to him tomorrow, and then he'll get some time on it. Brad's had his for, you said two months? A couple months now, yeah. Yep.
1:02
And he's rolled the snot out of it in places that I'm not so sure that- [laughs]... that state ever expected them to go.
1:08
I mean, they, don't get me wrong, they, they're from Tempe, Arizona, and they're in the desert, so they- they've been off-road.
1:13
And if you ever watched the video from the first one, that's at Papago, I think, and it- Yeah, I saw that. Yeah.
1:17
And that's at, that's at a park where there's some jumps and there's some- I haven't done anything that extreme. Not yet. Not yet. Yeah. So. And I've used mine basically...
1:25
Well, I did SingleSpeed USA on mine and, you know, used it as a... I rode Ga- you rode Gabe Haven, I rode Gabe Haven on it. Yep. So we've, we've done some, some- I hit a garbage can. That's right.
1:36
I did lay mine down in the street one time, and I'm not gonna- You almost put it in the river. I did do that, too. Yep. And you were around that.
1:42
So anyway, um, but when we do that podcast, it's gonna be you, myself, uh, Greg Smith from, um, Full Spectrum Cycles, and, um, Spinner. And we're just...
1:52
The, the last one to get a bike and get it riding is gonna be Spinner. This, uh, our clunkers have been sitting in customs for, h- I don't even know how long. So they're g- they're gonna be here now. So yeah.
2:03
So we'll get everybody together and we'll do a podcast, whether it's gonna be on Full Spectrum or if it's gonna be on Chewy's Lawn Chair, I don't know yet, but- Should be fun either way... it'll be good.
2:10
And it'll be good. And, and the other thing we're gonna add it, add to that is, is that Greg Smith and I also have
2:16
Handsome shop bikes, which are no longer in, in, in production, but they're kick-ass coaster brake bikes also that were developed for a totally ki- I would say a totally different reason than these.
2:28
So we'll get into that a lot. Uh, like we were talking earlier, the reason I, I wanted to do a podcast today, tonight, is because last night at hockey, Brad and I had a rather epic Sunday night of hockey.
2:42
There was more ho- more, there was more to it than just hockey. And to start with, we have a group of...
2:48
Last night was two high school kids, and then we had a group of three or four kids that are just out of high school, so- Three high school kids... three high school kids. Yep. And, and, um,
3:00
they got to skating pretty hard and pretty fast, and they're, they've got legs. And we're a little bit older and we're not quite there, but...
3:05
In adult hockey, in, in a, in a pickup group like ours is where it's just a group of guys get together once a week and play. Nobody keeps score. There's no slap shots, there's no checking.
3:15
So it's, it's safe and it's fun. It's exercise for most people. And the only people that get frustrated are the fucking goalies, and I- [laughs]... get really frustrated fast. "Hey, do you want warmups?" "No.
3:24
Why would I want warmups? You're gonna give me five breakaways to start the damn game." [laughs] So, so anyway- Not to mention we're gonna hit you in the face during warmups at least once.
3:32
Uh, that's just Randy that does that, yeah. [laughs] And his kid does now, too. Oh, of course. So it's even better yet. Chip off the old block. Oh, yeah. No shit.
3:38
So anyway, um, so last night's game I thought got- Lots of checking... it got intense. It did. I don't wanna call it chippy because chippy would mean that, it would lend people to think that you're playing dirty.
3:50
You were playing more like a real hockey game. It was definitely more spirited, a little more physical. Yeah. I'll give it that.
3:55
When, when, um, Durag and Lucy are out there high-fiving each other after scoring a goal- Oh, god... this never happens. This is not something that goes on. And I'm like, "What the fuck is with you guys?"
4:07
[laughs] And, [laughs] you know, and we go out in the parking lot when I kinda got on Lucy about it, or was it Roger? Yeah, I was there. Yeah.
4:11
I was like, I'm like, "Seriously, you two idiots made seven passes in our zone." No, the best part is everybody's gonna be listening to this as a, as, as a bike thing and also are gonna go, "What, what's the zone?
4:20
What's a-" Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. But, uh, they made five passes in our zone to get, to get a breakout, and you know what it ended up doing? Two point-blank shots on me. And one of them went in.
4:29
[laughs] No, I stopped them both. No, you- Yes. I, I stopped two. All right. Yeah. That was- All right... that was one of the few times. Atta boy. Yeah.
4:36
Th- did you notice that Ally caught on that it takes me an hour to warm up? Yeah. Well, she did mention that we were on the ice for probably 10 minutes, uh, warming up, we'll use that term loosely.
4:51
But, uh, we were on the ice for 10 minutes before Ron got out of the locker room. I had important shit to do. I was, I, I used- [laughs] I don't know what made me decide to do this.
5:01
I think because of my age, I've decided that I'm, I'm... I need to do, I need to learn how to play a different way. I, I can't, I can't get up and down as fast. Not that I was ever fast, but I mean, like- Sure...
5:13
I can't get up and down like I used to, so, um- I can't, I couldn't get up and down like you do. I don't know how you play that position. It's, it's hard. So I was kinda... I, I thought I'd use my kid's pad.
5:24
I used Casey's pads because they were at the, at the very start of butterfly style, so you still did a half V- Yeah... or, you know, and, and it was- Now you've- Which-... really gone over the cycling world's head here.
5:35
Yeah, no shit. [laughs] It was, it, it, so let's put it this way, it's the easier way. Hockey pads are, are, are, uh, a style-specific pad. The goalie pad's legs are made to play a certain way. Sure.
5:46
And so I was trying to go back to an old school, which is a little more stand up, a little... So it fit me better.
5:51
I tried to do s- so I tried to do a mixture of things, but I got down, dropped down to stop puck and tried to slide across, couldn't even move. It was like, "Those, these pads are not made to do this shit," you know?
5:59
[laughs] So it was, it's fun. But it was, um, yeah, it does take me a long time. And warmups for- Warm-ups in men's league hockey is stupid- It is...
6:07
'cause you get, you get two guys that stand out there and shoot pucks at you like you should, and then you get five knot heads that kinda wanna come in and do five dekes and make- [laughs]... you look stupid.
6:15
It's like, come on. Idiots. You're still warming up your groin. Yeah. So- I'm glad you mentioned something about the pace, uh, because this is my first time back in three and a half weeks, so...
6:27
Or three and a half months, sorry. So I, uh, I was definitely feeling it. Um, I'd, I've been reffing, so I've been... My feet are there.
6:36
I've been able to skate, uh, but the hands and the shooting, and then the lungs were definitely not there, so I'm glad you said that it was a little, little higher paced, 'cause I don't know if I could keep up with that.
6:48
Well, and last Sunday was higher paced than it has been. It might've been a little bit more the week before, but it, that was definitely...
6:56
And, you know, like I said, you know, Durag and Lucy are high-fiving each other- Yeah... and it's like, "What is with you guys? This shit doesn't happen." And I think a little bit of it was the kids.
7:06
Well, and they're getting ready. The high school season is right around the corner, so- Sammy is, yeah, Sammy's getting ready to play- It's-...
7:11
but Sammy's actually also been playing for, um- He's been playing with the Bears- Yeah... or the Grizzlies, that team- Well, whatever they're calling their U16 or U18 team. It's the MN Bears. Is that what it is?
7:20
Pretty cool setup, yeah. It's a very cool setup. Yeah. It's- It's, it's interesting. And, [laughs] and so the best part was, so we... The game got a bit physical. We'll call it that.
7:32
And then, and then, and again, I was letting... Everything was getting by me. Or even if I touched it, it went in. But the best part was is at the end of the game, we do a thing, we all...
7:41
First team to get to three scores wins the game. So everything that happened up until that last 10, 15 minutes doesn't- Doesn't matter... doesn't matter. To me, that's warm-ups, right? Yeah.
7:50
And, uh, I haven't lost a, the first to three in a couple weeks. You said that last time. [laughs] I know. It is kind of... Well, and then- I'm proud of you.
7:56
And then the other part of it, the best part of it, to me, is, is if I, I w- if, if we don't, if you guys don't score at all, then the goalies win. Or if it's a tie, like 1-1 or something, then the goalies win.
8:05
Well, the goalies have won quite a bit lately, too. Well, I've only seen that once, where finally I think you just said, "Fuck it," and knocked the net off the peg and was like, "We're done."
8:13
[laughs] That was a long night. I think, I think- Yeah... the guys played, like, an extra 20 minutes that night- Yeah... and it's like, "This is bullshit." I think the Zamboni driver- Yeah...
8:19
was getting a little irritated that night as well. Well, we played for an hour 15, and they add another 20 onto that. He'd like to go home sooner or later. Yeah. [laughs] So, let's see.
8:28
I don't, I'm just trying to think of how we go about telling the rest of the story, because it's- It is definitely weird... it's strange. Hold on a second. [can opening] Ooh. How's that? Sounds like...
8:38
[can opening] That sounds like a terrible beer. It is, and this is, by the way, this is... We're not bragging about beers, 'cause this is Swilling Beer night. I have an old style and you have a, uh- Busch Light...
8:47
Busch Light, so. [laughs] Busch Latte. I'm like, "I was gonna buy good beer," and I thought, "Ah, you know what? You have to work. I don't." Because- Yeah... 'cause I am retired officially. Congratulations on that.
8:57
Thank you. And I, I don't know if I s- brought it up on a podcast yet, but it's- Well, you have this claim that you were this super hard worker for a really long time, but we know the true story. Oh, no, I was. I was.
9:08
I was, I worked the hardest. I kept the shops in line, made sure everybody was- You brought your bike in the building when nobody else could. Yeah. You had it kinda made there.
9:17
I did k- I, I had it made for a long time there. I mean, I, like, the, [laughs] the best way to put it was I, when I turned... I was in my 50s, and I don't pay attention to this shit.
9:30
I wanted to know when I could retire, and I, so I called HR and they said, "Well, you're 50-some years old and you've been here..." And it said, I know there was some combination of age and- Length, right...
9:41
length of time, you know, and you- Sure... some combination made you could retire. And she goes, "Well, you've been here 30 years, so you can leave whenever you want." And- That's incredible...
9:48
and I'm like, "Don't I have to give two weeks' notice?" She goes, "No, you've been here 30 years. Just go. Just turn in your shit and walk away." And I'm like, "Really?" So I told my boss that, and I, I- [laughs]...
9:58
I am not shitting you. I don't think I was on time. I mean, by late, I mean a couple minutes here or there. I mean, they're sticklers about punching the clock. Sure. I could give a fuck less. Yeah.
10:07
So I'm like five minutes late, two minutes late- Well, then-... 15 minutes early. I just punched in whenever the hell I felt like it.
10:11
Well, then you just kinda make the rules, because he wants to keep you, your boss, right? Oh, I'm not sure about that. They just didn't know how to get rid of me.
10:18
Well, I would say, I, I guess I did give you probably a little more grief. Somebody that's been there that long, you're not easily replaceable.
10:28
You know, when you think about, you know, I, I manage a business, so I think about my, some of my veteran employees and what it means to replace them, and you don't, you don't really know what you got until it's gone.
10:40
So the minute you walked out of that place, part of them was probably like, "Thank God." Yeah.
10:45
But then the other part of it is probably like, "Well, shit, this guy was able to do this many things in one day," where now he's gotta train somebody to do that.
10:56
So that's- More than, more than anything else, for me- I'm probably giving you more credit than you deserve. Probably. There's probably a hole there that they had to fill. Well, no, they didn't.
11:04
They just, I think they just dumped it on the company. I, the, the company, so the, the, the product I work on- So somebody out there is going- They called me... "Fuck." They call, they called me- [laughs]...
11:13
and they offered me a job right away. Really? And I'm like, "No." And then they, and then I was supposed to call one of their techs, like, two days after I retired, and I've never called him.
11:22
[laughs] I'm just like, "No, I'm not gonna... I don't wanna work part-time. I don't want anything to do with that place or your-" "I'm retiring." I, I, I, I bad-mouthed your product- [laughs]...
11:33
every time we bought it, and now you wanna hire me? I should've got it for, just for that reason maybe, but I don't know. Oh, that's brutal. I know it. It was just ridiculous, but...
11:40
Shit, I lost track of where we were going with that. This is gonna- Well, talking about working tomorrow.
11:45
Oh, yeah, so you have to work tomorrow and I don't, although I do have to finish Spinner's bike and I do have to go down to the trail meeting tomorrow. So that'll be, that'll be kind of fun.
11:54
So anyway, back to, oh, back to the hockey. So we played hockey, and, um, I'm gonna do m- my part of the story first, and then we're gonna bring you in it. [laughs] So, wait, you're kinda in the first part of it.
12:05
So we're, I'm in the locker room, and the, the rink attendant comes down there and goes, "Have you-... seen any alarms going off or anything when you were walking through the buildings?" I'm like, "No. Why?"
12:14
And he goes, "Well..." His dad also works here. He goes, "Dad just called and said, um, he heard..." Somebody else had called him and said on the scanner they said they wanted all available squads to
12:25
Grand Marina, the hockey rink we work at. And I'm like, "I don't, I didn't think... [laughs] We, we obviously... The game was a little physical, but it wasn't that bad that we had to call the cops or anything."
12:35
[laughs] Um, so he went one way around the buildings and I went the other, and a lot of people aren't gonna understand this, but just the point of it is we walked outside, and this is...
12:44
You know, the situation is bad, but us being the fucking idiots we are, we've just made, we just made fools of ourselves basically.
12:51
But I jumped on my bike and rode around the one rink, and I go there, and there's like a dozen squad cars. At least. At least, and there's a pickup truck, and it's revving its engine, and it's like, what the shit?
13:03
So dumbass me, I'm like, "I'm just gonna ride along," you know? 'Cause at first when I went outside, I thought the compressors are going in the, in the hockey rink. Yeah, so we thought,
13:12
we thought there was a mechanical failure- Yes. Right... in the rink- And so-... because this truck was revving its engine so loudly...
13:19
as we find out, the guy had had his foot on the gas pedal for a half hour and just revving it. [laughs] So it had busted down to just a few cylinders. It was making this... It sounded like a rice grinder.
13:26
Just a God awful noise. Yeah, it was ridiculous.
13:28
So, [laughs] so all these cops are there, and they kinda wave me on, and I, I ride my bike down the one building, and I get to the corner, and there's two cops, and they're like, "Kevin, get over here, get over here."
13:36
You know? [laughs] They're like... And they go, "You can't go back down that way." I go, "Well, I was just in the rink, and I had to check..." And they're just, like, going, "Kevin, just don't go back that way."
13:45
Then the kid that was working comes out and asks them the same question. They weren't really telling us anything.
13:50
So then I rode around to you guys that were sitting on the other side of the building, and at that time, you...
13:55
Right, right about then is when you texted and said, "You guys notice there's a lot of stuff going on on the other side of the building?" Or the... So the, the... Imagine the hockey rink is like a big barn, right?
14:03
Mm-hmm. And on the other side of the big barn is, is a dozen hockey players just sitting and drinking, completely oblivious. Lawn chairs. Yeah. Yep.
14:12
Beer cans out there, and [laughs] completely oblivious to the, to the melee that's going on, or the, the squad cars. So it's, it's a person in crisis is the- Yes. Ba- that's a great way to put it, yeah.
14:22
And all these cop cars, and here's this bunch of fucking idiot hockey players that are- [laughs]... oblivious to the world basically. And one guy stands up and goes, "Is the taco truck open?"
14:31
[laughs] And that's, they finally notice that there's a cop down there not letting anybody through the street. [laughs] Right. It's just, you guys are goofballs. Yep.
14:38
Well, uh, so you were probably on the other side of the building, and we just heard, you know, the sirens like crazy, and they had come down on our side of the building and then swoop back around to where you were.
14:52
Oh, I was... No, I was probably still inside the building, 'cause I didn't hear any of that. So, so what had happened was it was a... They had a... It was a, a high-speed chase. Right.
14:59
Well, I don't know if it's high speed. That truck probably couldn't go that fast. Uh, but there was a chase, and they had kinda surrounded him, and uh, you know, it's unfortunate the circumstances, but uh,
15:12
you know, he had barricaded himself in the truck and meanwhile had just, like, locked his foot on the gas pedal.
15:19
But uh, we had saw all these cars, and yeah, the number one concern was whether or not we'd be able to get to the taco truck. Yeah. Um, but yeah, that was the...
15:28
We saw all the, the, you know, with the lights and sirens, but you know, we didn't think anything of it until you came around, and you're like, "Oh, there's..." Well, then, and then guys got...
15:36
You got on, uh, there's an app so you can listen to the police calls- Scanner... and we, and we're listening to the scanner, and then we had a couple of firemen with us that were, were- We kinda pieced it together.
15:43
Yeah, and there's a firetruck rolls in and then the ambulance and then, and then the- SWAT team... SWAT team car comes in there. Yep. And we're just like, "Going wow, this is getting kinda crazy."
15:51
And, and I had told the cops as I rode around the corner, I go, "I'll keep my guys on the other side of the building just for you guys." Well, you tried. Yeah. Well, except for... So this is the best part of the story.
15:59
I'm not sure how this is gonna go either, but so one of the guys who's sitting in a chair right across from you- Never heard of it... and, [laughs]
16:07
uh, decided that he was gonna go check it out, and you had a can of beer with you, and you left us. Yep. Well, the first time I left- Right...
16:14
I had gone over, and uh, they immediately shoo you out of there, 'cause I think there was the threat of an explosive at first. Um, but they immediately, just like they did with you, they had shooed me out of there.
16:28
Sure, yeah. "Get out of here." So I was, "Well, my beer's almost empty, so I, I better go back." [laughs] So I go back, and I'm kinda filling in.
16:36
I, I get back, and everybody's waiting, so I'd kinda filled them in what was going on,
16:42
and uh, a lot more interest from the group than I thought there would be, so I grabbed a fresh beer and figured, "I'm gonna go get as close as I can, see what's going on." Nosy old me. [laughs] So, [laughs]
16:56
so I wheel over there, and I find a little spot where I can sneak up between a couple buildings, and I can get, uh, right up to the action basically, you know, within 50 yards.
17:08
And it's between these two buildings, and I'm sitting there, and I got a fresh beer, and I'm just kinda watching. And I pull out my phone, and I snap a pic to send back to the group. You know, as like a status update.
17:19
Just as I take the picture, I put my phone back in my pocket, and I look up, and there's a cop staring at me. [laughs] And he's like, "What are you doing here?" And I got a beer in my hand.
17:32
I'm literally taking a drink as he, like, asks me. [laughs] So I'm standing there. I've come out of the rink. I'm wearing sweatpants. I'm drinking a beer. It's what? 10:30- Yeah... at night. 10:30, 10:45.
17:44
Yeah, somewhere in there, yeah. So he looks at me, and he's like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "I'm leaving." [laughs] If, if, if anybody...
17:52
Those people that know Brad, uh, you can see him doing this, it just... Uh, I c- we couldn't stop laughing.
17:57
The whole group was like, "I'm surprised the cops didn't come over to see what the ruckus was on our side, because we were laughing so hard at you telling this story." [laughs] So we're...
18:05
To kinda set the table, uh, the, the hockey rink is at a f- at the fairgrounds. It's in the middle of town. You would have no reason to be anywhere near this facility at this time of night.
18:17
On foot, uh, let alone drinking a beer which, uh, hindsight's 20/20. I guess I didn't think of that when it happened. But, uh, he's like, "What are you drinking?" And I was like, "Corona."
18:28
And he grabs it outta my hand and he's like, "It's cold." [laughs] And I'm like, "Well, I don't fucking drink warm beer, man."
18:35
[laughs] So he takes my beer and he dumps it out, so I'm just like, I turn around and start walking away. But yeah, he was, uh, just as shocked as I was, but yeah, he was...
18:45
I think he was more miffed that I was there drinking a beer- [laughs] Well, and-... than any- [laughs] anything else.
18:52
[laughs] Then you come back, and the best was you came back to the, to the group and you're telling the story, and then you go... Your sister goes, "I felt like I was in fucking high school." [laughs] Yeah.
19:02
I mean, you know how long it's been since somebody snatched a beer outta my hand and then dumped it out and then shamed me- [laughs]... for it being cold? I was like, "Did you drink warm beer, officer?" You know.
19:14
But I, every time I had gone over there, they had shooed me outta there so fast, so as, as soon as I made eye, eye contact with him, I knew I was fucked.
19:22
[laughs] So it was like, I'm j- I'm just happy that the, the most he did was just take my beer. But- And, and, and the hilarious part about it is is today, so this was last night, so th- today on social media,
19:36
it was all over. There was a guy that actually videoed the truck sitting there. Yeah, the truck running. Yeah, right, the truck running. So you can hear the sound. 'Cause he was over in the adjacent parking lot.
19:44
Well, they were standing in the old racetrack. So- Yeah... so yeah, r- the, yeah Well, that's where those kids hang out. Yeah, yeah.
19:50
So they, they [laughs] so it was like, it was like they were shooing you away, but yet there's, there's a crowd. They- Yeah. I mean, they weren't the only ones either.
19:56
Other people have snapped pictures of the whole situation. Sure. Well, and I got closer than the news guy did. He was like, "Where'd you come from?" [laughs] And I was like, "Well, I was in between the buildings."
20:05
And he was like, "I can't even get that close." [laughs] And I'm like, "Well, don't go over there with a beer- [laughs]... 'cause he's gonna take it."
20:12
[laughs] It would've been better if the cop would've just walked away with the beer in his hand, and he'd be going, "You gonna drink that?" [laughs] Yeah. It's like, "Come on, man. Like, I'll, I'm leaving.
20:22
Just let me have my beer." I can't, I just can't believe he took it away from you. That just cracks me up. Yeah.
20:27
Well, I think it was just like both of us were kinda caught in that moment, where like, you know, like I said, I felt like I was 16, you know, and you got caught, and you knew you were caught, and I had nothing to say.
20:40
He's like, "What are you doing?" And I'm just like, "Uh, leaving?" [laughs] But yeah, I had, I had nothing. I'd... I was in between those two buildings, so I couldn't hide, and it was just a strange circumstance.
20:55
Like, he could... He must've just, like, felt my presence, 'cause I don't know why he even looked there, 'cause I was pretty well-hidden. Well, yeah.
21:02
But- Well, and, and, you know, and you think about me riding through there, they're probably going, "Who is this old fool?" 'Cause I, I have- Right... I've got, you know, a pretty big gray mustache going.
21:13
[laughs] Big old elephant tamer going on. Yeah. [laughs] And, and, and, uh, and I'm on my, and I'm on my big fat dummy. Yep.
21:19
So at first they're probably going, "Why is that guy on that thing, and what the hell is he doing?" "Who is this guy?" Yeah. And I, 'cause I came around the front of the building.
21:26
I came right out of the same boarding room and just went right around like I was- Sure... checking shit out, right? And they're... And, and honest to God, every cop I ran into is, was probably 17.
21:36
[laughs] It was, it was the range. [laughs] They're all young. They're so young. [laughs] This kid was definitely younger than me. I mean, he couldn't have been older than 25. Yeah. And they're...
21:42
And that, well, that makes sense. I think we're kinda going through that here. But, but it was just, it was hilarious, because they're just like all these g- [laughs] they had to just, they had to...
21:50
I would like to have been a, a mouse in the corner while they were standing there talking, just listening to those guys going, "And did you see that one guy?" Yeah. "Did you see?" [laughs] You know, that kinda shit.
21:58
I was just thinking about that. Like, he probably was like, "Some fucking dude's over here between the buildings wearing sweatpants, drinking a fucking Corona." [laughs] Like, it's gotta be the most awkward...
22:09
'Cause like obviously for me, for us, it's like we drink in the parking lot. So that's what we do. But, like, for them, they're probably like, "Where did you come from?" Well, and then- You know?
22:20
It's not like there's any bars nearby that I could stroll from, you know? When you were walking back, beerless by the way- Yeah... when you were walking back, that- Like, tail between my legs...
22:29
that, that- Walk of shame... [laughs] that one cop just come blowing through the parking lot. Oh, I thought I was in trouble for sure. Like, obviously he wanted nothing to do with us, 'cause he didn't- Yeah... look.
22:37
He just, he just blew through the parking lot and was outta there. I thought for sure I was in trouble when I, when I... I, 'cause after he took my beer, I was like, "I'm just gonna do the old, uh, like,
22:49
I didn't do anything walk away kinda deal," while I kinda walked back in the shadows in case they were looking for me. [laughs] So when I came around the building and I saw that other cop coming, I'm like, "Well, fuck.
23:04
Maybe I did- [laughs]... maybe I did just get in trouble." [laughs] It's... Well, and once again, the hockey players st- They're...
23:13
And that's, and that's why so many, [laughs] going back to it, that's why so many hockey players ride bicycles. Sure. 'Cause it's the same bunch of knotheads when it gets- Yeah... right down to it. Oh, for sure.
23:21
The difference is- Well, the stories about the Tuesday night rides and all the crashing going on, that was- Oh, yeah... that was entertaining as well. Where, where, where we've got, we've got
23:31
guys that aren't, their wives don't allow them to go with anymore. Right. Because, because that one guy, I don't think... I don't remember what his name was.
23:38
I don't think he survived without getting hurt, at least bloodied- Oh, geez... in, like, a month worth of riding. The last one was a crash was bad enough that he...
23:48
I can't remember what the hell he did, but he actually wound up like she said, "You are never going with those guys again, ever." Yeah, that's- And I, I've not seen him since then. Like, I, like, he's been...
23:57
I don't know. His wife probably took his bike away from him as far as I know. For sure. Well, Tad ended up in the street laying on 16th Street or whatever, and that guy thought he hit him.
24:05
[laughs] And he's on an e-bike, so he should've hit him. He probably deserved it. Yeah, yeah. And he's a- he's got a camper now, and he's riding the bike trails on- Is he still with that girl? Yeah.
24:18
All right, good for him Yeah. They bought... Well, he bought a camper. I can't say she, but- So he's e-biking on the trails now. Yeah, he was down in, uh... He was down in the R- River Trail this weekend.
24:26
Oh yeah, that's what he said. Yeah. I- Well, that's good riding down there if you like the pavement riding. Oh, it is.
24:31
That's fun, and, uh, it w- it would kinda suck on the clunkers because- Yeah, a lot of, a lot of- I actually- There's a lot... A lot of those- No...
24:37
good elevation in some of those areas No, actually it would be kind of fun to do because you could go from Fountain to Old Barn to Lanesboro. You could bar hop on that, and then there's no bars in Whalan, though. No.
24:52
But I mean, you could do- Some of those stretches are good, 'cause what was he saying? To go- It's five mile, it's f- it's five miles from Old Barn to, um- But if you go from Lanesv- Lanesboro to Peterson,
25:03
the 14 miles- Yeah... and there's not much in between There, there's nothing in between there. Yeah. So you, it... But, but if you do the, uh- But it's flat. It's pretty, pretty flat, isn't it? But think about it.
25:11
If you started in Fountain- Well, mm, 'cause they got some breweries and stuff down that way, don't they? Well, Fountain has a bar and brewery. Yeah. And then you'd stop at Old Barn, the campgrounds- Yeah...
25:21
'cause that's got a good bar. They got a bar there. And then you go to Lanesboro, which has- A bar and a brewery, right? Or they not have the brewery anymore?
25:27
I, I don't, I don't think they have a brewery, but they've got- No, they got a, they got a v- like a vineyard down there, don't they? Thought there was one of those smaller ones- Could be. Uh-...
25:35
or a distillery or something. There's stuff- I know there's a bar. There's, there's a couple bars. Okay. So there's a couple good bars there to go to, too.
25:42
So I mean, and then, and that's, and that's a paved trail, and it's, and it's- Yeah... the only thing is, is when you're going back at the Pr- at the turnoff to go to Preston, so let's say the last...
25:50
I think it's the last seven miles to go up to Fountain is all uphill. Yeah. It's kind of a long time. So on a clunker, it would kind of suck. But I mean, you could... It's not, it's not- It's not a huge climb...
25:57
No, it's not a horrible incline, so you could do it. So you could... I know maybe the better way to do it would be to start in Lanesboro, right up and then come back down. Mm-hmm.
26:05
Yeah, less incline for shorter period of time. Well, the cool is, the, the cool thing about it is, I... And, and I know the kids have done it. You could damn near coast all the way to the Old Barn from...
26:13
Once you get- Yeah... once you get out of Fountain, then start going down, it just, it's just, you know, it's a, it's a railroad bed, so it's a fairly- Gradual... It's a... What is it, 7% is the biggest grade it can be?
26:22
Yep. Or it's probably- It's not that bad... less than 5%, something like that. Yeah. I mean, it's not bad. Who the fuck knows? Yeah. It's- Those are numbers that... It's not bad. You can pedal it. Yeah.
26:30
Kids don't like it necessarily, but it's, it's not Decorah. It's not, it's not that kind of stuff that we have- Sure... to ride down there, even on the paved trails. Yep. Yeah, I guess if you're a, you know,
26:42
a s- a single speed kinda guy, you'd probably be fine 'cause you're probably used to it, but. Yeah. Well, I've rode, I've rode, I've rode a lot. I mean, we used to...
26:51
When it were still, the kids were younger and we used to camp, we'd camp at the Old Barn, and we'd ride. Yeah. You know, it was fun. It was... You take the family right into, into Lanesboro and- Yeah...
26:58
and get something to eat and- There's definitely good trails down there. There is. And good scenery. Yeah. And oddly enough,
27:05
a- a- and we'd, we tried to get something going down there out of Lanesboro, especially for mountain biking. There's... I don't know if there's not enough state land and, and, and land that we can build stuff.
27:15
I was just gonna ask, is there- There's no mountain biking down there... there's no off-road down there? Not really, no. I mean, there's... Well- Seems like there'd be great area, but I, I think you're right.
27:22
A lot of that is a lot of farmland. Yep, and you know, and Jesse and I were talking about at the last podcast, you know, um, there's a, there's a gravel road race out of there. Uh- Oh, sure. Plenty of gravel...
27:33
it was last week, it was the last weekend, or is, is this coming weekend? Plenty of gravel down there. Oh, and it's, and it's kickass gravel. Good gravel. Yeah. Yeah. It's...
27:40
There's some, there's some hellacious climbs in that area. Yeah, the... Some of those gravel roads are gnarly. Yep. Yep. Like, it's kinda wicked driving on them. It'd be fun to ride. No, it's, it's...
27:49
Yeah, we'll have to go down there. I don't know. I would probably get lost. I think... Well, you know what? I think I still have the, uh- Cell reception gotten better in those areas, or not really? Uh, I don't know.
27:59
Probably not. 'Cause you'd almost need it. I don't know. I have T- You'd almost need it on some of those gravel roads... I have T-Mobile now. I have the worst fucking reception ever. Oh, geez.
28:05
That company- Is that, like, 1G, 2G? Fuck, I don't know what it is, but they're fucking horrible. [laughs] I, I... Seriously, I have to use Wi-Fi connection inside my house. Oh, boy. It's wonderful, yeah. Nice. Yeah.
28:16
Reminds me of the old clamshell phone days- Pretty goddamn close... of the old phones. Yeah. I'm like, "How did you buy out Sprint and stick me with this bullshit?" Yeah. Yeah, I wonder.
28:27
It's been a while since I've been down there, but that'd be fun to go ride some gravel, get- We used to do, um, so- some of the Tuesday night guys used to ride from here, start at my house, and we would ride down and do all gravel all the way down to Lanesboro and back, and it was this 75-ish mile ride day.
28:42
No shit. Yeah, it was fun. It was a good ride. You ride down to- That's a hell of a ride. Oh, but all those guys were on gear. Well, no, there was three of us on single speeds, so it's totally doable on a single speed.
28:51
Some of the climbs- I suppose, yeah. You hit... Some of these roads out south of here are fun to ride, too. Oh, yeah. Some of that gravel out there. Um, there's actually a lot of really good gravel.
29:02
I don't know about the north side of Rochester much. Oh, there's gotta be some, but I don't really ride it much, but the south side of Rochester, there's a shitload. A lot of gravel. South- southeast Minnes- well, wait.
29:09
Southeast Minnesota has a lot of really good gravel riding. Yeah. Which is... You know, a couple times that I've ridden gravel,
29:18
you know, 'cause it's like, you know, riding some of the, the county roads and stuff is gnarly 'cause the shoulders are so narrow. Right. So it's like you're just asking to get clipped.
29:27
But, you know, the gravel is almost like being out on a, you know, a trail. You know, they're very... You know, there's not a lot of traffic on them, so it's like you can hog the whole road if you need to.
29:37
Well, and that's the whole idea behind gravel road racing. Sure. I mean, that's why they, that's why they did it, because it was, um- Don't have to block off traffic. Yeah. I don't remember. Was I reading an...
29:47
Oh, I was reading an article about, um, UCI taking over. I know UCI has got a, a, a gravel national championship. Oh, really? Yeah. And I'm just like, "Good, here they go again," just like they did with fat biking.
30:00
They just... It gets invented, it gets worked out, but they just jump in and, "We're running the national championship." I'm like, "Fuck you guys."
30:07
[laughs] And I think, you know, and the idea behind gravel road racing was basically [laughs]... Okay, there's two ideas behind gravel road racing as far as I'm concerned.
30:15
There's the guys that wanted to do it that, like- I don't know if they didn't want to do cyclocross or if they just wanted to do something on a road bike that wasn't...
30:24
They don't, I thought, always felt, they always felt like they didn't like mountain biking. And to me, that was okay because it got road riders off the mountain bike trails because they suck and they're in the way.
30:32
[laughs] And they don't know, they, they, they bitch about a rock being on the trail. So I'm glad to see, it's like, "Good, go gravel road ride and stay off my fucking trails. I'll be, I'm a happier guy with that."
30:42
So that's, that's, that's taking it to extremes of course, but, but at the same time, I'm, that's my thoughts. [laughs] Um, so now UCI is running a championship, but I don't, I don't...
30:54
It sounds to me like, of course, and of course, Dirty Kanza, uh, Almanzo, all the ones in, in the Midwest that I know about, you know, Hell of the, Heck of the North, all these really big gravel road races that are really cool.
31:05
Are they gonna use one of those? To me, and I'm sure there's other ones, other places that are just as- Use them as a qualifier? Yeah.
31:11
Well, no, just, or, or as a part of the series and/or as one of the championship races- Sure... and they just go and we'll mis- use... No, no, no, they're gonna have their own someplace else. You know, way to go UCI.
31:21
Oh, sure. You can't take a good thing and make it... Yeah, yeah.
31:24
Just we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna take, you know, like, it's like, uh, and I don't think it's a bad place to ride, but, um, Fat Bike World Championship, or U- US Championship is in Crested Butte. Sure.
31:34
None of us have ever rode out there, and you look at it, it's, it's a fucking cross-country ski trail groomed, from what I could tell.
31:41
Maybe that's just where the pictures were of it and, and, you know, and it's, there's fast guys that win it, but it's not, it's just, it's, I don't know how to put it. It's not our group. Sure. You know?
31:53
It's not, it's not the people we like to ride with. Well, I shouldn't say that. I do like riding with them, but it's not a race that I'm going to attend. Gotcha. It's, um, [laughs] I don't know.
32:02
I think it's [laughs] one of our friends' kids probably had the, the correct way of putting it. They, they, uh, um, there was a group of roadies coming into town and, uh, one of the kids goes, "Is that Moffitt?"
32:16
And they're going, or says, or Chewy- Chewy... whichever would go, yeah. They go, they go, they go, "No, he doesn't ride a bike like that." [laughs] So now, now they're categorized. There's those guys- Yeah...
32:26
and then there's, and then there's guys like Chewy that ride. Uh, so there's, there's- Well, you gotta learn Chewy's riding, 'cause it's like there's Chewy's riding and then there's fuck everything else.
32:37
[laughs] Well, [laughs] kind of, yeah. There's, there's a bit of that. I can, I can abide by a few rules. Yeah, that's not true. But if it takes, if it goes to a second page, I'm in trouble. Yeah.
32:47
Because- You're like, "Fuck rules"... yeah, I can't, I can't, I can't read a second page. I don't have time. Well, I think the caveat to that would be, are you allowed to drink while you're doing it?
32:54
And then a lot of the rules can be forgiven as long as there's beer. [laughs] To, to, to, so we did RAGBRAI for years, right? And RAGBRAI's just a big drunk. Sure.
33:03
So we joined, we joined in on the, on the Minnesota, uh, MS ride across the state of, across Minnesota. They, they route you around towns. [laughs] So the guy I was riding with going, "Well, this is bullshit."
33:15
So we just started going in and hitting the bars. [laughs] And pretty quick we have our chaperone dragging us out of bars, like, "You guys need to get out and ride bikes. Get out of here."
33:23
I didn't want to sh- Why would they go around towns? Because they want you to, they want the, it's, it's- It's just more about the ride? It is. And it, and it's- Because-... it's very well organized and it's- Sure...
33:31
and you know, and they've got stops, and they've got food for you every... And it's, it's, it's not even a long ride. I mean, you go do RAGBRAI and it's 70 miles a day, and you go do this- Yeah... and it was, like, 40.
33:40
Well, I talked to a guy who owned a bar, I forget in, like, bum fuck western Iowa, small town, and he was like, "RAGBRAI makes my whole year." Oh, yeah. 'Cause after, like through COVID, he, he shut his bar down.
33:54
I, I had a, uh- Because RAGBRAI makes his year. He's like, "I make it a thing." But the- You know, he's like, "I can charge more for beer. I rent out, uh, my dining hall for people to sleep in."
34:07
So it makes his- Oh, shit... it makes his whole year. I, I know a, a guy I work, used to work with.
34:12
His, uh, his uncle owned a bar that was on the route, and had, I don't, I think he'd only owned the bar for five years, so he'd probably never had anything to do with RAGBRAI before that. Sure.
34:22
And, and after the RAGBRAI left, he took his first vacation ever. He shut the bar down- Sure... for two weeks and went on vacation because he'd worked every day- Yep...
34:30
that it was open, and now he could actually go on vacation 'cause of how much money he made off of it. Well, and I asked him, I said, "You know, RAGBRAI's what, like a, is that a, it's like a week long?" Yeah. Right?
34:41
"So, you know, technically they're only in your town for what, 12 hours?" Well- If you, unless you're a check- No, not tech- technically not even that long...
34:50
unless you're, un- yeah, unless you're a checkpoint town, right? 'Cause sometimes people are just coming in. No.
34:55
And I don't think this was, like, an overnight stay, but he was like, "So you get the, the group comes through, you know, and then you got the, the faster group that hit you first, and then you got the people that are there to ride, and you can tell they're the experienced riders."
35:12
And then he's like, "They come in waves, and then you get the party group that shows up later in the day."
35:18
So, you know, he was, you know, kinda making that point that he was like, "I thought, you know, when I first started doing this that this was gonna be a, uh, kinda like a one, o- you know, like a, like a lunchtime kinda deal."
35:31
Sure. And he was like, "The day before we're slammed 'cause people know the riders are coming through, so they're com- like, the people that don't ride, you know. And then the riders come through.
35:43
Some of them stop, some of them don't. You know, the hardcore guys keep going 'cause they're just going to the next checkpoint." I've never done it. I don't know how it works.
35:50
But he was explaining to me that it was like a, it was like a, almost like a week-long party that he would throw. Oh, that's all it is. Without a doubt.
35:59
I mean, I mean, it's- And even though the riders come and go, but he's like, "The support teams would come after the fact, and they'd stop- And that's the-... because they can get to the next stop before the bikers can."
36:09
And I know there were some guys that used to ride it, when they got done they would turn around and ride it backwards 'cause they got nothing else- Sure... to do for a life. Yeah. Which would be cool.
36:16
But yeah, he, he would, uh, he had a, he'd, he, he built a pool at his house just for RAGBRAI.
36:24
So yeah, it was just a, you know, he would open his bar and he had this little wedding reception hall and he would section it off so people could sleep.
36:31
I should find his information, but he retired and, uh, he was like, "Now my life's boring." He's like, "Our whole year was geared up around- One event... Right, right. Is that, is that something? Yeah.
36:42
I mean, that's- And he was like, "The cycling crowd was fantastic." And he- He's like, "All they wanted to do was lay down somewhere and, or drink and then lay down somewhere. That's all they wanted...
36:52
Our, we did, uh- Maybe get something to eat... We did one day and we, we stopped at a friend's... I'm trying to think. It, it, it was, it was, the, the ride was 72 miles that day.
37:04
I'm just trying to remember the math behind this, 'cause I used to tell this story all the time.
37:06
Um, the math was, it was like 72 miles in a day, and we were averaging, 'cause we were on, I think we must've been all on road bikes at that time, and we were averaging like 19 miles an hour. Might've even been 20.
37:19
We're, we're, we're kicking it pretty good. Gave me like the world's smallest fucking koozie. Jesus. Well, that doesn't get used anymore. I see that.
37:26
And then, uh, and so, so at 19 miles an hour averaging, 72 m- 72 miles, how long do you think it took us? Well- 16 hours. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] I was gonna say- We, we [laughs]... are we talking bar stop pace or?
37:39
We literally got drunk three times on that ride. Oh, of course. It was like, got drunk, go sleep in a field some place and get up and go do it all over again. [laughs] It was, that was hilar- Nobody believed us.
37:48
Like, we left early in the morning and still were out there way after dark. Like, and it, back then, the last town, so the last town before you get to the town that you end in- Yep...
37:58
would, and I don't think they even allow them to do it anymore, but used to try to, they used to try to get you to stay all night. Sure. So, so that was just a jam party.
38:05
And then you would just have this five, 10-mile incredibly drunken ride. Well, I can see why they push you out of there, 'cause you don't need... I mean, there was hundreds of people in that last town. Oh, yeah.
38:13
Thousands of people in that last town. Oh, it's crazy. And, and, and you got, and you got a road full of drunks, bicycles at, at midnight, 1:00 in the morning. Oh, yeah. It was ridiculous. Yep.
38:22
It was really not, [laughs] but it was still, it was still, it's like, "God, I can't believe it took us that long to ride that day." And we were like, we were out there for all fucking day and all night.
38:32
It was- Oh, yeah. And believe me, we had a good time. Yeah, it does sound like a good time. Yeah.
38:36
Oh, we got to, we went to a buddy's farm and it w- This is all, this is where the, the worst part came, because we had to take a long nap because we went to a farm, and they'd all just got done working the field.
38:45
So literally we had T-bone steak and sweet corn and stuff for lunch, and everybody needed a nap after that mess. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, that's, uh, it's, it's always definitely sound like fun.
38:57
I've always wanted to, uh, you know, I don't, I don't ride that much and, you know, long distance rides are not my thing. I'm more of the, the pub crawl kind of guy or, you know, find a dirty trail somewhere.
39:11
But, uh, you know, I've always wanted to, you know, maybe hit a couple legs and then just run like support staff just because, like, the party, you know, the vibe, the environment, like- I've, yeah, I- I hear so many fun stories about, like, the host towns.
39:25
I don't wanna slam it because, because I mean, we d- we did it for, oh, God, I, I did it for how many years? I mean, I did it, I did it single speed, I did it with a geared bike, I did it fixed geared for four years.
39:36
Wow. But- Wait, is this an event that you now hate? Um- Am I not allowed to, like- No, no, no... say that I wanna do it? Well, no, I think people should do it.
39:44
Yes, I do hate it because it's gotten so corporate and then, then 'cause- Oh, sure... you know, it's me, so I- I was just gonna say, there's a lot of money to be made in that event too, so.
39:50
There is, and people used to always make a lot of money at it, but I, I don't like it when it gets corporate.
39:56
I don't like it when they come in and say, "You're gonna be closed and you're gonna be selling my beer," and all that kind of stuff, you know? Sure. Yep.
40:01
And, and then I think that, 'cause then I feel like the small people are getting hurt, like, you know- Getting squeezed out. Sure. Yeah, you know, like the churches- Yep... churches sell pie and lunch and they- Mm-hmm...
40:09
you know, they make a shitload of money, and it's like- Well, and I think that was kind of the coolest part about it was it, it can be really, like, some of those small towns are really grassroots, you know, and they're, like, I, I heard, I read articles of, you know, people that were, they would spend a month, you know, baking cookies and shit to sell.
40:28
Yeah. Great. Yeah. And I, and I think that still goes on. I- Yeah... I'm not positive. I think these cheap beers actually snap better than good beers. It's probably 'cause they're just loaded full of carbonation.
40:39
That could be it. Yeah. Yeah, that could be it. [laughs] But yeah, it's, it's, um, I, and again, that's, it's basically me being, uh...
40:46
Am I considered a bike snob if I don't like- Well, I think you, you won't identify as a bike snob, but I think, uh, yeah, I would say- [laughs]... you're a, you're a snob. But, but a different kind of snob.
40:59
Yeah, you're kind of like the- A lowbrow snob...
41:01
you know, you were like the, the kid in high school that, uh, you know, didn't wear all the fancy clothes, but, like, said, "Fuck all the people that wear the fancy clothes." So you were like the anti-snob snob.
41:14
Does that make sense? Kind of, except for I was not that guy. I was the guy that could go hang out at a doctor's kid's house for one day and then go hang out- And you're still that guy... in a court field.
41:24
Yeah, I can do that. Yeah. You can talk to anybody. Yeah. And then turn around and be like- That's why I think I'm gonna bartend. That's the only way... "That guy, that guy's a cocksucker."
41:32
[laughs] But that guy loves you just 'cause you just talked to him. I, that, I still think that's why I'm gonna bartend. I still don't know if I'm, like, actually your friend or if you're just acting like- Oh, no.
41:40
No, no, no. You have a decent voice, so I put you up front. That's it. Otherwise I could give a fuck less. You coach- [laughs]
41:46
Uh, the only thing I, I do like it better when you're on, not on my team because you never hit the net. Yeah, you didn't, you didn't say anything to me last night. It was weird. Well, 'cause you were on my team.
41:56
Well- Were you on the other team? No, you were on this team. I was on your team. Not last night. You were on the other team. No, I was on your team. I wore white last night. Oh, you did. Yeah, so see- Which I never do...
42:03
see, and so, so when you're o- well, how am I gonna pick on you? That's true. I mean- I didn't play defense for that reason, 'cause I knew you'd cocksucker me all night. [laughs] No, no.
42:12
The defense was bad enough as it was. Yeah, right. [laughs] You know what I mean? You don't need me back there.
42:16
Did, did you see, were you out there when, when Tad goes, uh, I re- boring you again with hockey, but Tad goes, "Wow, you looked really good there." So my defenseman is standing 15 feet off to the left of me- [laughs]...
42:27
watching your, watching me getting my ass handed to me. [laughs] God. Funny. Yep. All right. We've been on this long enough. So this, again, uh, next time we- Clunkers next time...
42:37
next time we get together should be actually really interesting. Yeah. Not boring. I mean, no, it'll be, it'll be a clunker fest, hopefully, and, uh- So this one is just to tease you, warm you up- Yeah...
42:46
and next time- Yeah. I mean, this, I-... we're getting into these clunkers... we're sitting in the shop.
42:50
We, the, the podcasting stuff is here, and there's a clunker in the stand, and we thought we might as well make a quick podcast, so. This, this, uh, National Parks clunker is fucking cool, by the way. It is.
42:58
It's fucking awesome. Yeah, it is. Beautiful bike. All right. Let's get out of here. I'll talk to you later. Thanks for coming over, man. Later. See ya.
43:05
[rock music]
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