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Full Spectrum Cycling
Chewey’s Salon Chair #15 – Post Santa Rampage, Decorah NYD Ride, SSUSA 22 and Kayla buying ANOTHER bike
Feb 16, 2022
Chewey’s Salon Chair #15 – Post Santa Rampage, Decorah NYD Ride, SSUSA 22 and Kayla buying ANOTHER bike
15
30
00:00
1:15:23
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Transcript
0:00
[rock music] Hey, everybody. [laughs] Hey. Go ahead.
0:17
Well, now, yeah, we already, we already said all the cool stuff. Where are we gonna start out? Oh, so we're done? I don't know. You always butt in. Oh, okay. I forgot. I'm not starting over. Get going.
0:27
I'm not starting over, dick. [laughs] I forgot how to do it. You gotta tell me what you want me to do before I do it, but, uh- I'm not reading the script... welcome to Chewy's Salon Chair number probably 16.
0:36
[laughs] No, 15. I think it was 15. I just found out 15. Oh. You didn't tell me that either. Did he say that? He did say that. Okay, sorry. Way to fuck it up. [laughs] She's- Watching porn on your phone- Hey, no...
0:45
you're like, "Oh." [laughs] Yeah, that's right. [clears throat] Porn does it to him every time. Yeah. Easily distracted. [laughs] Yeah. All right. So this is number 15, maybe. Maybe. [laughs] Maybe 15?
0:55
With us tonight- Probably... as usual, Brad, Spinner, and the newest member, Kayla, the one that we're gonna buy her a bike tonight. What are you talking- Hi, Kayla. Hi. Hi, Kayla. Hi.
1:05
You are about to get the worst advice yet. [laughs] Can't wait. I just wanna hang with the cool kids- It'll go well... so whatever you guys say. [laughs] Yeah, when's, when you doing that? After you leave here? Yeah.
1:15
[laughs] Every day. Are they coming over? [laughs] We're hopefully gonna stop by and savor, if nothing else. [laughs] Do we have a time limit on this one, or we just go? We're just gonna go. Okay. Oh, oh- Yeah...
1:25
when are we gonna- Third time... is, is, is that, we changed to the subject already? I don't know. It felt like it was an appropriate time. [laughs] Once again, there was a bell on the table that has not been explained.
1:33
[laughs] Because it's like when I go into a hotel, I ring the fucking bell every time. There could be five attendants working there, I'm ringing it. [laughs] Just, you can't put that in front of me.
1:44
When, when, when we were in college in the wrestling team, whenever you get in the elevator, there's always a bell. Mm-hmm. And whenever you hit the bell, that was the boxing bell.
1:50
So you start punching whoever you wanted to as soon as you- [laughs] Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah. [laughs] And then somebody hits the bell, and then you stop. But- So is that, like, random?
1:57
If I ring the bell, we can just start piss pounding each other? Just- I feel like I need to put my beard on for this. [laughs] Kayla's in the middle. [laughs] Yeah, that's why I put my beard on. I feel like a safe space.
2:06
I think she's, she's ready to fight already. Yep. [laughs] This is not beer. Always. What do you got? It's two chicks. Two chicks. [laughs] Well, we've got- I mean, how is that not a good time?
2:15
[laughs] Are we drinking porn, or...? [laughs] I mean, you can have that, have that guy. Let's see. Let's see. We walk in the door.
2:21
First, it's just me and Spinner standing here, and there's, like, absolutely nothing going on. He's looking up in the ceiling at a bamboo bike and all ki- all kinds of shit.
2:27
Oh, that's- Who else has a bamboo bike in the ceiling? Oh, the bamboo bike is not cool. Yeah. It's not cool. No. Then I break out some beer- Can I ride on Ragbrai? Huh? Can I ride on Ragbrai?
2:35
Well, if you don't mind riding a fixed gear, 'cause that's the only way you can ride it. I could do a little bit. I just wanna be cool. There's nothing cool about a bamboo bike. No, there, no, there really isn't.
2:45
I've messed around with that thing. I guarantee people will flag me down to take pictures. Hey, and I'm, I'm just gonna ask you this: Who do you think, who do you think it belongs to? Uh, Dave. Yes.
2:53
It's definitely a Dave bike. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. He says he brought it back with him from Vietnam and asked me if I could put it together, and I still haven't been able to fit a bottom bracket in that.
3:01
I can hear him, "Dude." Yeah. [laughs] "I got a new bike." I can see his face. [laughs] So, so anyway, just so everybody knows that.
3:11
We get in here, and I have a small keg of Christmas beer that we tried, and it's horrible. It's terrible. Um, from, um, w- I don't mean to pick on Breckenridge, but it's bad. But it is still beer. It's still beer.
3:21
You know, I've been pretty disappointed with a lot of their stuff lately, and it makes me sad, but- Are they getting bigger? I mean, I can remember when they were- Yeah...
3:27
it's been years since we've been out there, but when, last time I was out there, 'cause they're out of Denver, right? Mm-hmm. And, and- Out of Bre- out of Breckenridge, Colorado. Colorado. It would be- Yeah.
3:35
It would be Breckenridge. Breckenridge, Colorado. Well, that's a place. [laughs] [laughs] So, so I, I, well, was, I was in the, I was in, I was in, uh, I was in Denver for the Frozen Four.
3:43
That's where the whole thing started, so it's, sorry about that. What's the Frozen Four? It's the, uh, college equivalent of, it's the hockey equivalent for, of- Oh... basketball's Final Four.
3:52
It's the hockey equivalent for colleges. Okay, cool. That's, that's, uh, yeah, we always, we've hit that every year sin- until COVID, for, since 2010, I think, since the Gophers won it. Every year they've had it?
4:05
That they had it and you didn't go? Oh yeah, before, uh, we just started going until, like, I think it was 2010 for when the Gopher, when it was up in Mi- s- uh, St. Paul and the Gophers.
4:13
A buddy of mine got us tickets, and, uh, Keith Dickman got us tickets. It's a fun event. Yeah, it is. It's really cool. Yeah, you went, yeah, all the way up until COVID, right? Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah, so, so...
4:24
I just, I keep, I quit looking at here. I keep on finding different stickers I haven't seen before. Oh, on the wall? Oh, yes. Try before you buy.
4:30
[laughs] [laughs] Oh yeah, there's a lot of the good old, uh, when Andy Kurson worked for Silly, there's a lot of good old Andy Kurson stickers up there. Oh, gosh. Get in the cow box. Yeah, I don't- [laughs] Yeah.
4:41
Yeah, we could just take a while just reading through those- Yeah... I think maybe. It, d- Anywho, should we, um, yango? Do we have anything- No, no... we're not told about?
4:48
No, I, well, that's gonna- [laughs] Well, let's get back on track... that's gonna wrap the show. I know. Okay, yeah. Could somebody ring the bell?
4:52
[laughs] Okay, do we wanna, do we wanna start with the, from what happened after the last? 'Cause I've only talked to Greg a little bit about it. Do we, do we need to go through- Uh-oh... Santa Rampage?
5:02
[laughs] Do we need to go through Santa Rampage? Because everybody- Well, what do you remember? I remember everything 'cause everybody's told me how- I think there was just one valuable lesson learned here.
5:10
[laughs] I don't think it was- Wear a fucking, or can I say F words? Sure. Wear a, wear a fucking helmet. How dare you fucking swear? [laughs] Or a, or a Grinch mask.
5:19
Hey, the Gr- look at, do you see any scarring on my face? The Grinch mask did its job. It might've helped you. Sure did. Yeah. Okay. Uh, well, I, I, I did not have a concussion. The Santa hat did do shit for you.
5:29
That's a lie. Huh? [laughs] That's a lie. Oh, no. So, uh, I don't know if I've talked to you, so okay, so there was an accident. Well, should we, the, the lead up to it is- Would you-...
5:40
you loaded your backpack with beer. Yes. You're gonna ride it to the hotel, which is right behind the- Block and a half away, you had the most, yeah... block and a half away.
5:48
And you were riding your clunker down a steep hill, and I, I assume you got into the rocks. Well, no, no, no. And you- My back, my, I only had the backpack on one shoulder, and it slid off.
5:56
Oh, so yeah, off- And it hit the fence, and it, and it, and it, you know, and it, it swung those handlebars, and it swung that wheel, and I went right into the wall. The story that I've formulated-[laughs]...
6:05
was he was trying to dig a beer out of said backpack- That's possible... to drink on the ride over. That's possible. Within 12 feet of the bar. [laughs] Well, yeah. Dropped the front tire off the pavement.
6:19
It was a, it was a block and a half away. Dropped the front tire off of the pavement and just took a right-hander right into the wall. Well, th- th- here's the- Big fer That's also believable.
6:27
[laughs] The only story there is is speculation, 'cause you don't really fucking know. [laughs] No. Neither do the rest of us. Because the c- Yeah...
6:33
the story I got from Kelly was when they ran down there to see if he was okay, he was concerned about the 12-pack of beer that he had in his backpack. [laughs] And you only broke one, right? Oh, 'cause there were glass.
6:42
Yeah, I only broke one. Yeah, that's good. Which was, which was probably the one that was in my hand. [laughs] I don't know. Well, when I was...
6:47
When I went to the bar the next day to find your phone and shit, and I pulled the backpack in, like, the bar was full.
6:52
And I started, like, pulling, looking for it, pulling out a beer, pull out a beer looking for his phone, pull out another beer, pull out... [laughs] How many fucking beers are in here? [laughs] There was 11.
7:01
[laughs] Meanwhile, everybody else was waiting at the hotel for their beers. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, they're all, they're all dying of thirst. No, I think everybody was passed the fuck out. [laughs] I know, yeah. Oh, yeah.
7:09
Including Ron. [laughs] That was a long night. It was, uh, it was, um, um... I don't know. It was... It took them for- e- th- they...
7:20
It took them two hours to drain the hematoma out of my head, and it took them another four hours to stitch it. Uh, because, because they brought in some student, and like I...
7:32
You know, and, and they put me in a neck brace. So I'm sitting there in this neck brace and tilted forward and they're, and they're, and they're...
7:37
And you could see the guy is, like, giving her instructions how to stitch and, and I was just waiting for somebody to walk through and say, "You know, that is a fucking hockey player.
7:45
Stitch him up and get him out of here," type of thing. But it didn't happen. [laughs] So then- No, that's not... They didn't say hockey player. They said, "60 whatever year old man- Well-...
7:54
extremely intoxicated- [laughs]... wearing Grinch pants and a Santa suit." [laughs] Yeah. So they- This guy's absolutely buckled With a massive head wound. [laughs] They fucking stitch him up and get him out of here.
8:03
[laughs] They, so they, they- Did he fall at the nursing home? No. Yeah. [laughs] He crashed his bicycle outside a bar.
8:11
[laughs] I, it's always funny when, when you're my age and you walk into this clinic, and I've- [laughs]...
8:15
oddly have had to go to the clinic a bit lately, and every time I walk in there, "Do you have a fear of falling?" "No, I have no problem falling. It's the taking the cake." [laughs] It's the landing that fucking sucks.
8:25
[laughs] I'm, I'm good. Yeah. [laughs] So I, I, I spent the day in the hospital. I spent the overnight in the hospital. I spent the next day there. Um, the... I, I did have to take...
8:34
And this is why I say I don't have a concussion, because I had to take a concussion test, and they made you do math. And Sue goes, "You've never done math that fast." [laughs] Maybe it knocked more sense into you. Yeah.
8:47
And there was... And it was, it was like I was repeating everything correctly and, you know, and I... And, and, and then there, there was one thing that I had to save, I had to say four, repeat four words back.
8:56
It was apple, female, colonel, and... Don't ask me what the other one was, 'cause I couldn't remember it. And I finally g- she goes, "You get one more try." I'm like, "Okay, do you want me to read it?"
9:05
"Just wanna guess." I said, "No, I'll read it." So she reads it and I repeat it back correctly. And then she goes... And I go, "So I have a question for you." And she goes, "What's that?"
9:12
And I go, "Why was I always saying apple at the beginning and the end?" And she goes, "I don't know." And I said, "Do you have a concussion?" [laughs] Needless to say, that didn't set well.
9:21
[laughs] Start fucking with them. Yeah, that'll get you out faster, yeah. [laughs] Yeah. So everything went well. I got stitches. I probably didn't do what I was supposed to do. I don't know if I did.
9:32
I, you know- No, you didn't... they put me... Yeah, they put me on anti-seizure medication. Yeah. Which was like- Because he had a seizure.
9:38
I did have a seizure, but the w- the worst part is- I'm just gonna glaze over that. By the way. Yeah. [laughs] The whole time was what I was thinking about, by the way. What's that? [laughs] I don't want an ambulance.
9:46
Yeah, I don't want you seizing on me. [laughs] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because, because, because- Making seize on Sue, that was nice of you... yeah, because Kayla- Well- Because, well, that was- Babe, they're married.
9:55
[laughs] That's a whole nother level of responsibility. And he's legally, she's legally contracted to put up with you. All, all, you can shit on your wife and you can seize on her.
10:03
[laughs] That, those are things that are okay. But Kayla, that's, this is her job. She works for the ambulance service, so she didn't want any part of that, so... I didn't want- You knew it was coming.
10:10
You're like, "Get him out of here." Yep. Yeah. Yeah, hopefully they're not listening to this podcast now they know anyways. Well, there's only three people that do, and don't, we don't worry about it. Yeah.
10:16
[laughs] Just, uh, you, you're gonna- Am I one of those three people? [laughs] Yeah, yeah. You're gonna be- Two of them are in this room... you'll be number four. [laughs] Yeah.
10:23
[laughs] We just like hearing ourselves through the headphones is all it is. Yep. Um, but- Is this your first show since that? Yeah. Oh. That's why, that's why I said- Oh, yes... we all kind of have to talk about it.
10:32
I mean, it was, it was... Well, because we've all been busy. You've been- Yep. I don't know what you... Y- you're fire department, so you're busy all the time now. Yeah. You and I have got so much coaching going on.
10:39
And, and here's the thing. Right after that happened, I, because the youth of America are lazier than shit, um, I wound up playing, I think a week later I played four hockey games in five days. [laughs] Yep.
10:52
And, and 'cause nobody else wanted to play goalie. So- Wow... at the end of the second week I get a, I get a phone call from the clinic saying, "You know, we're just doing, uh, a checkup on your concussion."
11:02
And I go, "Well, I coach high school hockey, so I know how this works." And, and I said, "I've got friends that are doctors and nurses, and we all know how to do it." So I said, "I'm, I'm doing really well."
11:11
And she goes, so, um, um, she said something about... I said, "I don't think I have a concussion." I said, you know, "My... Nothing's been bothering me."
11:19
And said, "In fact," I said, "I got hit in the head last night playing hockey." And she's like, "You were playing hockey last night?" I go, "Yeah." She goes, "This is two weeks." I go, "Yeah. You didn't say I couldn't."
11:30
It was actually, like, 10 days. Yeah, probably closer to that, yeah. Something like that. And, and, and like- 'Cause you played on Wednesday. Yeah. Oh, that's right. It was Wednesday night. Yeah. Yeah.
11:38
And, and Rindy hit me in the head. Yep. Which is pretty common. He hits me in the head pretty much every week. And you got hit on Sunday. You always get hit in the head. Yeah, it's an automatic.
11:44
But the best part was Rindy hit me right on the stitches. And I'm thinking- [laughs]... I'm okay, I'm okay. And, and, [laughs] and then, and Lucy sk- skates up to me and screams in my face, "Hey." And I'm going, "What?"
11:54
And he goes, "That didn't bother you?" I go, "No." And he goes, "Look up at the lights." So I look up at the lights and he goes, "That doesn't bother you?" I go, "No." He goes, "No, you're fine." So I was afraid.
12:02
Then I started sweating. I thought, oh, am I bleeding? Yep. You know? So- Is that what it was? So no, no, wait, this, this- Or is that red? Oh, thank God, yeah. Well, 'cause he normally never sweats.
12:10
No, I'm not gonna move. [laughs] Uh, but so, so anyway, so going back to the fact that this nurse is talking to me, and so she goes, "So you got hit in the head." And I go, "I'm a goalie."
12:19
She goes, "You're a goalie and you're playing hockey after this?" I go, "Yeah." And she goes, "Okay, let's go and move on." She goes, "You're not driving," 'cause I had a seizure. I said, "No, I'm not driving."
12:27
I said, "I ride my bicycle anyway." She goes, "You're riding a bicycle?" I said, "Everybody's making me wear a helmet."
12:33
[laughs] And she literally goes, "I'm not asking you any more questions," and basically hung up on me. [laughs] This conversation's over. Yeah. [laughs] You're a lost cause.
12:38
[laughs] So, so no, now it's like if I go up to the club, I walk in the door and I put a, I put a hat on before I walked in, and Kelly looked at me and goes, "Where's your fucking helmet? You ain't..."
12:49
She's standing there holding her glass, baiting me. "If you don't have a helmet, you ain't getting this class." So I show her my helmet and everything was good. Yeah. So I show up to Sunday hockey, like, what?
12:59
Probably less than about- It was a week later... 12 hour- no, it was 12 hours after it happened or so, 'cause it happened, what? Saturday night. Yeah.
13:06
So I show up to Sunday night hockey, and we were talking about recording at the rink. Oh, right. We were gonna record the next day. So I was like, I was like, oh, I got some- Oh, finishing the show. Yeah...
13:16
I got some, I got some great, you know, content ideas for the... I was like, I wanna talk to Ron. So I'm like, "Where the fuck is Chewy?" [laughs] And everybody's like, "You didn't hear?"
13:25
[laughs] And I'm like, immediately I go to- Still in the hospital... God, he's the oldest guy I know. [laughs] Like, what happened? You know?
13:33
[laughs] And they're like, "Yeah, he fucking crashed into the wall at the club. He's in the hospital." And I'm like... And they're, I mean, they're making a big deal out of it. They're like, "He had a fucking seizure.
13:43
Like, he's- Well- And like somebody's like, "He's in a coma." [laughs] Like, it was a big deal. Like all these, all these guys in the locker room were talking this up. I was just tired.
13:51
There's still blood on the wall the next day. Yeah. Yeah. So- Oh, there's pictures of, there's pieces of Grinch costume laying around there too. Oh. [laughs] So, so they're talking this shit up, like, big time.
13:59
So I'm like, I leave hockey that night. You know, I don't even go to the club, 'cause I'm kinda like, "Fuck, I hope he's okay." So then I text you, and I, I don't think you had had your phone.
14:10
Like, you were leaving that next day. Was it Monday or whatever it was? No, I had his phone. The phone was in a backpack at the bar. Yeah, yeah. Somebody had his...
14:17
He didn't have his phone, so I, I had text him literally right away on Sunday, and it was like, "Damn, I hope you're okay," you know? Like, "Are you dying?" Like- Yeah... "Let me know what's going on."
14:26
And then you must have gotten your phone back and you text me right away, and you're like, "Yeah, I'm good." You know? [laughs] "Sue's taking me home. You wanna meet at the Eagle and just have a beer?"
14:35
[laughs] And I'm like, I'm like, you guys are all fucking pussies. [laughs] I was like, Chewy is fine. Like, you just headbutted a wall. [laughs] Like, this guy's been through some shit.
14:43
[laughs] So then, like, I, I start talking to him, and he's, like, literally giving me the play-by-play of, like, what happened. And I'm like, he's fine. Like, the seizure thing was, like, probably a coincidence.
14:54
I don't know. [laughs] No, they said it was, they said it was trauma related to the head and they just... They, they kinda... So then, like a week later, we're up at the club, um, after hockey, and there's a...
15:03
He used to be a flight nurse. The guy comes up there all the time. You'd recognize him if you saw him. And he now works in the ER. And Kelly goes, "Moffitt, get over here and show him your pictures."
15:11
[laughs] And so I d- He goes, "Oh, you're the Grinch." I go... Because he came in after I'd gone up to the hospital room, and he's like... I go, "So was I an asshole?" He goes, "Oh, no, no, no.
15:21
Everybody rather enjoyed you." [laughs] So [laughs] I must have behaved myself. Well, the, then dumbass me, um, they put that collar on me, and I'm old school, so I'm like, "This doesn't feel right.
15:34
I'm fucking feeling kinda shitty." So what do you do when you feel shitty? You fucking get up and walk it off, right? That was not even a whole step- [laughs]... and I was right back down again.
15:41
Sue and the nurse caught me in the mid, in mid-falling. [laughs] I was like, okay, that was not a smart move either. [laughs] Yeah. So needless to say, Chewy totally fucking downplays this whole thing, and I'm like,
15:53
I'm like, "What happened?" He's like, "Oh, you know, I just, you know, just tire dropped off the pavement and hit the rocks, and I just washed out and went right into the wall."
16:01
I mean, he's like, "Yeah, fucking, you know, I busted my head open, but I only broke one beer." [laughs] You know, he's like, "I don't know what everybody was worked up about."
16:08
And I'm like, "Somebody said something about a seizure." And he's like, "Ah, yeah. I mean, I-" [laughs] It is. It's mentioned in there. You know, like, just- Yep. Over the top. I didn't, I didn't have to wipe my ass.
16:16
I'm okay. [laughs] [laughs] So yeah. So- I mean, you survived... so, so then we, I've had that conversation, and then in the meantime I've had to go back. So I had to go back 'cause my blood pressure's getting up there.
16:28
Can you drive yet? No, I got another month. [laughs] Three months? Yeah. Shut it. I don't... [laughs] But about then- That, that-... you'll be done with hockey, and then we can hang out more...
16:37
that, no, that's all that's being said about me driving is that, no, I've got another month yet. Okay. But anyway, um, we... So I got a phone.
16:44
I had, I had to go in and do a blood pressure test because the, you know, all this shit's been coming up, and she's reading my history, right?
16:52
[laughs] And, and, and she takes my blood pressure, and she goes, "Oh, it's not bad. It's a little high, but it's not horrible. You know, your doctor wants to put you on a light medication." And I'm like, I don't...
17:02
He goes, "But it says here you don't like taking medications." I'm like, "I like being medicated, but not that way maybe." [laughs] But, um, so anyway, she goes...
17:09
She keeps looking at this and just keeps smirking about the, reading the, the, the thing. And I, I go, "So do..." She goes, "Are you gonna tell me this story?" And I go, "Sure."
17:17
I go, "Do you want it with or without pictures?" She goes, "Oh, with please." [laughs] So, so I show her the pictures, and then she flips the screen around so I can see my blood pressure.
17:26
So it was like, I don't remember. It was like 150 over 90-something. And she goes, "That's a little bit high." But then the best one was when I went into the ER, it was like 137 over 80, so it was like right down there.
17:39
And then when I went in this, this last week for that, it was back up there again. I'm going, "So I get to keep my blood alcohol at 2.6 or.26-" [laughs] "... and we've got this fucking- I was gonna say.
17:49
We got, we've got this fucking kicked. I'm good to go then." Something about a 2.7 BAC lowers the fucking blood pressure. [laughs] I think it works pretty well.
17:57
I think the student was also probably complaining as she was stapling your head, like- No... how much you were fucking gushing blood. No.
18:04
She was complaining because she was trying to make it pretty, and it's like, it's on a bald head. What the fuck difference does it make? Yeah. I get... It was like, one other time I got... I was in the ER.
18:12
The la- only other time I was in the ER, I got smacked in the mouth with a puck. And it was into my bottom lip, and I'd [clears throat] piece of fat hanging out, and I tried to chew it off and keep playing.
18:20
Just that's what we do, right? And so I, I go in there and I had this... She was a little, I think she was Korean, uh, resident.
18:29
And we're standing there, and this guy that's been working in the ER since I started at the hospital, um, comes walking, he goes, "What are we waiting for?" She goes, "Plastics." And he goes, "No, he's a hockey player.
18:41
His friends are drinking beer at the rec center right now. Stitch him up and get him out of here-" [laughs] "... before he gets mad." So she goes, "Well, but I got..."
18:48
He goes, "No, just stitch him up and get him out of here." Yeah. Have you seen him? He's ugly as fuck as it is. Yeah. [laughs] He, he said something like, he said, "I think he's been married for, like, 20 years.
18:56
Just get him out of here." [laughs] So yeah, so that was...
19:00
But I mean, like, literally I'm sitting with my head cocked forward so she can stitch it, and going, "Well, I'm not getting this, so I don't think it's a very straight stitch.
19:07
Oh, I agree, so let me continue on- It's a gnarly zipper. Is it really? Yeah. It was a good one. Oh, my hair's so thick right there, I couldn't really see it.
19:13
[laughs] I mean, I haven't seen the scar, 'cause you always wear a hat, but it was a good- There should be pictures of this- It was a good zipper... in the show. Well, then the best part was is so, uh, couple...
19:23
Oh, then so, and that span of where I had to play, like, Sunday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Sunday, Tuesday... Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 'cause I played for Ron. So I played...
19:33
No, it was Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Mm-hmm. So Tuesday when I played the over 50 guys, Bobby Second brings beer, right? Yep.
19:39
And so I'm changing and I'm probably shouldn't be playing, and I'm just kinda sitting there. And I've drove, so I'm not going to- You drove? I drove my s- cart. [laughs] So I'm like, "I could have a beer."
19:53
You pay no attention. So, so Bobby- [laughs]... Bobby throws me a beer. No, she knows and everybody knows because Bobby throws me a beer, and guess where it hits me?
20:00
[laughs] Right below the scars, and now I got- Oh, [laughs] the stitches... and now I have... Yeah. No, right below the stitch, but if you... And it stopped doing more.
20:05
[laughs] I had a, I had a, I had a crescent moon on the side of my head just below the stitches where the can cut me. [laughs] Yeah. And he's a goalie. Oh, yeah. It was- It makes sense, actually. [laughs] Yeah.
20:17
It makes sense, actually. The only times he makes glove saves is when I shoot it in there. Yeah? That's literally the only time. What, so you just whack everything with your head? Uh, no, no, no.
20:24
[laughs] He, he throws so much in my glove, one time he comes down on a breakaway and I threw my glove- He threw his glove in the corner, I fell over laughing. [laughs] 'Cause I probably would've shot it in.
20:32
He goes, he goes, "Why..." He, he looks at me, he go, "You always shoot at my glove. I figure if I throw it in the corner you'll just shoot the puck into the corner into my glove." [laughs] Yeah.
20:38
It was literally one night I think I like six in a row just, like, right in his glove. Yeah. And he's like, "I, I didn't even have my fucking eyes open on that one." [laughs] [laughs] So anyway, I'm alive. Good.
20:51
We're doing a podcast. We're glad. Yeah. Um, what's next? What was next on my agenda? The, uh, New Year's ride. Oh, yeah. So then we did the, we did the New Year's ride. Did it work? It, uh- It did. Was that awkward?
21:02
It was a nice, uh- It was, it was-... transition. That worked... yeah. Yeah. You're the... You're supposed to be keeping track of that stuff for me. Yeah. I have a brain injury- [laughs]... or something. Yeah.
21:09
You didn't do the Decorah Santa rampage, did you? I don't remember. No, I was still in the hospital. Oh, that was the week after. No, you just- Oh... came back later. You came back- Oh. No, no, no. We had...
21:18
No, we- God, Sue did fuck your brain up... we had... No, we had a hockey- There we go. We had a hockey- Yeah, you had a hockey Saturday- We had a makeup hockey game, so we couldn't come down... and it took too long.
21:24
Yeah. I mean, I didn't play in that one. We just had a makeup game. Yeah. Um- But yeah, New Year's Day, yeah, in Decorah we always do like a... It's out 13 miles into a bar in the middle of nowhere, and then back.
21:32
And Chewy shows up with, uh, those training wheels. He had training wheels on. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] Training wheels. [laughs] Oh, yeah. You- And we- Oh, we left that part out. [laughs] What, the training wheels?
21:40
Was it your birthday? No. What was it? We... You showed up at the club and c- it was your birthday. When's your birthday? Kelly gave... Wasn't it your birthday? Kelly gave you the- No, no.
21:48
Those were Christmas- Oh, it was Christmas. Kelly's- Yeah... Kelly's daughter's... Kelly's- Santa. [laughs] Santa brought them... Kelly's daughter's, Kelly's daughter's...
21:54
They were laying in a snowbank beside the house and, and one of the girls saw them and goes, "We should give these to Moffat." Yeah. So they gave him- So it was a Christmas present.
22:01
My Christmas present was the training wheels they took off the youngest girl's bike. [laughs] Was the training wheels, 'cause he obviously crashed into the fucking wall. [laughs] Makes sense. Sorry.
22:08
Well, then he broke them off that day. So to go back- That's Pugsley. Yeah. Yeah. They, they're laying down there. I still, I still have them. Yep. So he shows up with training wheels. [laughs] They're pink and purple.
22:18
Oh, they look sparkly. I'm so proud. Yeah. I know. They look awesome on that white Pugsley. Uh, uh, okay, so that's two pictures I have to put on the- Yep. Yeah. Photo evidence. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I don't know.
22:28
What else happened? We rode there, we rode back. It got really fucking cold. Yeah. Kelly got her first, her first- Oh... trip out there and back, so that was fun. Oh, we did the... We did, we- That was fun ride...
22:35
you and I and, you and I and Captain? No, who wouldn't play it on the ice? O'Gara. O'Gara. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. That, that was the slipperiest- But-... ice I've ever been on. That's true.
22:46
So all of the shit that could- There's a lot of good videos of that... all of the shit that could create more head injuries. Yeah. Were you out there too? Yeah. He was wearing his helmet. I had my helmet on. Yeah. Yeah.
22:54
Well, and then it w- It's fine... it got so cold, like, uh, so when all this shit was going down, like, I too texted Chewy and got no answer. So I'm like, "Well, I'm gonna bite the bullet and text Sue."
23:02
I'm sure she's not happy. [laughs] Wow. And she went, "Well- Way to send it up the fucking chain. Well- [laughs] I had to pick him up like a baby and put him in the truck- Yeah...
23:11
and get him out of there in the first place. So, um, and so I was texting back and forth when all this shit was going on.
23:17
And then New Year's Day, you know, she's worried about him, texting me, 'cause his phone died, and then it got cold and my phone died. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. So then the- Jesus...
23:25
shenanigans happened, and then my, turned my phone on the next day and- Oh, you didn't text?... get a text message from Sue saying, "Somebody tell me what the fuck is going on." [laughs] How are you not divorced?
23:33
[laughs] I'm working on it. She- [laughs]... right. That lady is a fucking saint. He's in detention. He sits in a corner a lot. He's in a lot of timeouts. Yeah. Probably timeout right now.
23:43
You, you see where I'm at right now? [laughs] This is pretty much as far as I get to the house. [laughs] Right? On a really cold day, I might get to use the bathroom. Okay.
23:49
I'm, I'm thinking I'm gonna come over here and see, like, a cot out here or something that you're sleeping in. I'd have moved it so we could get people in here. [laughs] [laughs] It's kinda packed.
23:57
There's more stuff in here than I remember. Yeah. He's a fucking hoarder. No. No. I'm getting... Well, there, I had more in here today, because I brought that bike out for Kayla to look at, and then- The Pugsley? Yeah.
24:07
And then that's from, that's Weber. That's a sweet bike. Is this 10- Pugsley... 10 by 15? Yeah... this room is, this room is- Your clunker's outside 10 by 10 by 18. Yeah. So this bike shop is 10 by 18- Yeah...
24:16
and the necessities are in here, a salon chair- Yeah. Got a locker... a, a record- A jukebox... juke- playing jukebox- The podcast... podcast station... uh, a bike repair stand. Got a beer fridge. Beer fridge.
24:26
Got a locker, uh, a stage of lockers. Um, I don't have a TV out here anymore. I just have a- You did. What happened to that? Um, I'm, we're kinda giving up on TV. Sue took it? No. Yeah, well, it's downstairs.
24:37
I put it downstairs in the winter so she can watch- Well, I suppose TV isn't good for traumatic brain injuries [laughs] Staring at lights all day, yeah. [laughs] [sighs] Okay. I forgot- Staring at headlights?
24:49
No, nevermind... but, um- Um... yeah, and then, yeah, New Year's Day we went, I don't know where we went after. Well, you have to- We came back to Decorah, right? Yeah.
24:55
[laughs] And then, uh, we went to- We went to Dixie... Dixie's, and then- Dixie's... and then- And then it gets kinda fuzzy. [laughs] Yeah. Well- The American Property one place... I, I went home.
25:05
You- We went to T-Box for food. You guys went to T-Box- Ah... 'cause I went home, 'cause I didn't feel like going out. Oh, 'cause you arm wrestled O'Gara for a while. I'm just, uh- Again?
25:12
[laughs] I wonder why my arms always hurt when I get back from Decorah. [laughs] God, I gotta stop doing that. [laughs] Did you win? Of course not. It's O'Gara. [laughs] He is biceps- He did give me credit, though. Yeah.
25:23
He said I was probably the strongest girl like he's ever arm wrestled, so. I would be impressed. [laughs] I went at it- Oh, yeah... that one time for, like, over an hour, Lee and them said. Like, I was just- Wow...
25:33
determined I was gonna win, and the next day I woke up and I'm like, "Oh, my fucking arms hurt." [laughs] You think you were getting stronger as you were losing? [laughs] Or was- I was trying to wear him down.
25:41
That was my strategy. [laughs] All right. I was gonna ask if you guys cuddled before or after. [laughs] Nah. [laughs] Uh, both their arms are limp. There's no cuddling. They just kinda leaned against each other. Yeah.
25:52
[laughs] Like, "High five." "Fuck you." [laughs] A low five and just kind of really- [laughs]... a little slap. Just like a little sling.
26:01
[laughs] Yeah, so we've had some good- So did we actually, did we actually ride on New Year's Day? Oh, no, it's, uh, it's, uh, 26 miles total. Yeah, at least 26. Yeah, about that, out and back. Was it more?
26:11
There's a cool little... There's a, there's a campground- 13, it was 13 miles... there's a campground in Bluffton called Bluffton Campground. Hmm. That's weird. Randy's. Randy's, yeah. Randy's Bluffton Square.
26:18
And there's a dinky little...
26:19
They've got like, you know, like a little campground with like the little bar restaurant there which has good little greasy burgers, and Kayla decided to buy one- The best fried mushrooms I've had in a while. Yeah.
26:29
Those are fantastic. And they did burgers, you know- That sounds delicious... and everything's served on only the finest China paper plates and- Oh, that's the best...
26:35
yeah, you know, and PBR is in, like- I think it enhances taste... and then, and, but- Butter...
26:39
but, but as, but as usual goes with this ride, there was, I don't know, a dozen or so of us rode out there, but only four of us rode back. Uh-oh. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of us- Me, you, Sutter, and O'Gara...
26:49
us, us three and, and O'Gara, right? Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's pretty common. That's- So it's 26 miles total? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So if you can see this picture, this is a wall. Oh, yeah. This is...
26:57
That's crazy that it's in Iowa. It's so pretty. It's just a huge wall of bluffs, and it's- That's sweet... there's, there's probably, what, 70 people live in that town? Yeah. But the bar is rowdy as fuck. [laughs] Yeah.
27:04
It's a cool, it's- What town was it? Bluffton, Iowa. Bluffton. So if you, if you could ever do something with your camper other than let it park at... Yeah, it was a- Are you guys in Pioneer? Yeah. Yeah.
27:14
It's, um, it's, so it's down there, and then, I mean, there's inner tubing. They do the inner tube canoe rental out of there and all year round, and that's about...
27:21
I mean, that's, as far as the campgrounds go, that's all it's for, is- You guys will have to come down to my camper. Uh, the Lily ride with Team Roater, we always go down to Pioneer.
27:30
Yeah, so we've been, uh, kinda like, I don't wanna say like cutting trails at Kruger, which is right across, uh, Highway 61.
27:40
So there's some, there's a national park, or I don't know if it's like a state park or a county park. It's a state park, yeah. Kruger. Yeah. And it's, they have horseback trails and hiking trails.
27:48
Well, we've been, we've been riding them with permission, and it's been a ton of fun actually, so. I gotta get down there because I, I, I hunted that area. We used to go deer hunting down there- Yeah...
27:58
and it was nothing but deer trails. So the fact that it's built up, I really wanna go down there and see it. Yep. Um- And I've kinda schmoozed up a couple of the locals, uh, horseback riders, uh, by bringing, uh...
28:10
I, I'm not a big, like, IPA beer fan, but they're like, they like to drink the hazies and stuff. Yeah. So people bring down like a bunch of IPAs and leave it at my camper.
28:19
So I just load up my backpack when I go over there, and I just dump a bunch of beer off, and they're usually pretty cool. They get a little spicy if you're, if you're going fast down a hill and they're coming up- Yeah...
28:29
'cause the horses get kinda spooked. Oh, yeah. But usually, you know, I was like, "Do you want me to, do you want me to put like jingle bells on the bike so you can hear us?"
28:37
[laughs] Oh, no, the, the thing is is the horses know you're there w- way before the riders do. Well, and you can, you can hear the horses- No, the horses-... usually way before.
28:44
I mean, I've been riding with headphones, so, but I, they're not out there every day. But the couple of the locals have been pretty cool. Is this a permanent camp spot? Uh, yeah, at Pioneer.
28:52
My, I just have it, we have a spot parked down there for the summer, but- Okay... I got the, the clunker and, uh, you know, got some off-road tires on it, so I'm like, "I'm gonna go hit some of these trails up."
29:05
I too need to purchase a mountain bike. [laughs] So I'll be, I'll be listening in on the advice, just- God, this is gonna be so fun... I was gonna recommend a Clunker. Now fuck.
29:14
Now we gotta talk about- The Clunker's been fun... he, he, he's, uh, he's- What, like the State Clunkers? Yeah. Or, um. Well, she's, she's gonna get one of those too. They're fun. Okay. They're fun bikes. Probably.
29:21
[laughs] I, I got one. I think they're awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Did we do official Clunker- I, I actually, listen, I actually- We tried... no, no, we did one- No, you called it- We did one at the Sand and Rampage. Oh, man.
29:31
And it wasn't- Uh, it was pretty brief, though. Yeah, 'cause you guys were- You went into what defines a clunker [laughs] You guys were fucking horrible. We, we, we sound like we're almost about to have seizures.
29:39
I did, I did- You were horrible. [laughs] Which was funny, though, because- I did-... I listened to that pod and I was like, "How did he fucking crash into the wall after that?" 'Cause you sounded fine.
29:51
And then- I repeated myself like 18 times about the same thing within about a three-minute time period. Yeah, but you do that normally. [laughs] So Kelly said you went from, like- Why'd you say apple twice? Yeah. Yeah.
30:03
[laughs] Do you have a concussion? Kelly said you went from like 0 to 60 in about, like, as soon as you were done recording. Well, it's, I think it's when you stand up 'cause we had been drinking all day. Sitting.
30:13
For sure. And I'd been like sitting in that- We were drinking all day- Yeah, yeah... from like 10:00 AM until- Did we eat? Did we eat anywhere? Duh. Um, kinda. We had those really shitty-
30:21
I had a taco- Edgar on somewhere... at Taco Jet. That's all I ate No, don't remember when we were at Kenny Creek- It was really good... everybody ran over to the Asian store and bought a bunch of stuff?
30:27
I did not participate. I, I remember Edgar eating. Chewy didn't eat. Somehow, yeah. Chewy didn't eat. Yeah. The only thing he ate was brick later that night. [laughs] There you go.
30:33
[laughs] Bit off more than you can chew. Sure did. Yeah, it, it was, you know, it was crazy 'cause I knew what was going on. We had a game that night. You gonna fill that? Yeah, please.
30:43
And, uh, we got done with the game and went over to Newt's to have a beer and a burger, and of course the, uh- [laughs] That's gonna sound awesome. This is gonna, this is gonna- The local news was on. Hang on, hang on.
30:55
Guess what this is? [beer pouring] [laughs] It sounds like you're pissing in a snowbank. I was gonna say, that is, that is, that is a mor- It definitely sounds like you're pissing in a snowbank.
31:07
[laughs] That's, no- That is exactly what I was gonna say... I was, I was gonna say that was a morning after piss. After drinking all night long, a big foamy pee. [laughs] Wasn't it? [laughs] It's, yeah. Yeah.
31:16
It's clearly foamy. [laughs] Yeah, the, uh, the snowbank depiction was perfect. That's a lot of head. [laughs] Yeah. Let that settle. [laughs] Oh, God, that's funny. Oh, yeah.
31:28
But anyway, we saw you on the news for Santa Rampage. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I hadn't watched the news in- Yep... probably, like, two years- I, I still say-... and I was so excited to watch that, like, five-minute- Clip?...
31:39
bit of us, yeah. I really, I really wish they'd have been, hung around just a few minutes longer to see that, that, uh, um, the young lady that was in the handicap van.
31:49
She was in a wheelchair, and they'd, they had seen s- Spinner and Captain- Yeah... riding down the road- Yeah, that was right...
31:56
and she asked, she asked what, um, you know, what was going on, and he kinda explained it to her, and they must have saw us too, and something about the Grinch, and this, this gal is just a fan of the Grinch, right?
32:06
So we, uh, um... [laughs] Did you mute yourself? No, uh, no, I muted [laughs] got the wrong person. Um, [laughs] Fucking muted, yeah. Yeah. You're still muted. [laughs] Next... No. I'm still fucking muted. Yes, you are.
32:19
Now you're not. [laughs] Anyway, probably the best part of the podcast. Um, uh- [laughs]... I gotta put... Um, next, next week y'all are getting a little sticker with a number on it to put on there.
32:26
I've been, I've been behaving. I've been chest...
32:29
[laughs] We, uh, but there was this gal that, that had, that loved the Grinch, and she was in a wheelchair, and I don't, I don't know if she was a quad, but she was pretty close. But it, like, totally made her day.
32:38
Oh, fun. And so next year, next year I'm getting the prosthetic. I'm getting a fucking, so I can talk. You get... Yeah, you have to. That would be so cool. Those are awesome.
32:45
Yeah, and, and, and they're gonna hunt us down because they, that's, that, like, made her Christmas. So I- Let's stay with it... I followed this guy on, like, I think it's Instagram.
32:53
He's on, like, TikTok and Facebook and all that shit. But they set up a display for him at the mall, and he's the Grinch, not Santa. Yeah. And he's just an asshole to people. [laughs] And it's, like, it is so funny.
33:04
I don't know if I could do that. [laughs] After a couple beers you could do that. [laughs] You couldn't even keep a fucking straight face. He gets nicer when he drinks, by the way. [laughs] When he's sober, he's a dick.
33:14
That's true. [laughs] That is true. I'm pretty good at it, yeah. [laughs] [laughs] That's why everybody buys him beer. [laughs] No, but you guys, that, that news story, did you see it? Yeah. Yeah.
33:23
We were in the bar, watched it. Yeah. It was on KAL, I wanna say, is what- Yeah, yeah... the one that we picked up on? Yeah.
33:27
You guys looked like fucking superstars, and then you're like, "Oh, I wish they'd have hung around a little longer- [laughs]... to see me fucking headbutt this wall." I mean, like...
33:34
[laughs] Yeah, well, yeah, 'cause I watched that again later. I thought the same thing. I'm glad they didn't know how that night ended. That's right. Hey, are we done after half-hour? No.
33:41
Okay, good, because we're at a half-hour. Okay. All right. That was, I think we- We didn't even get to the actual topic. [laughs] We've been doing pretty good. Which topic? Kayla needs a bike. No, Kayla needs...
33:48
All right. Well, we're saving the best for last. Kayla needs to buy more bikes. Okay. Kayla needs a bike. Should I talk about what my herd is so far- All right, we're moving on... and why I wanna talk about bikes? Okay.
33:54
No, no, no. No, no, no. So what we're looking for, for you is a mountain bike. Jesus. We, she's been chomping at the bit over here, and we've just been slow playing on talking about you? [laughs] It's my podcast. Fuck.
34:04
Yeah. [laughs] All right, moving on to- So, no-... something more important... the, the reason this started was is that she'd called me and texted me about picking up a ice cream truck. Or a bike.
34:15
There was a Pugsley in La Crosse. Oh my G- Oh. Oh, that military one. Yeah. Oh, it's a... It was a Pugsley. I'll tell you, I- And it went fast. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. I've been trying to find one. I know.
34:24
It was a small bike. I should've got it. How tall are you? Yeah, I need a small. [sighs] I'm only 5'6". That's a small? Eh, it might be a medium. That's a, that's a medium. That looks like a medium. No, try it.
34:34
I'm gonna- You're taller than me. So I rode that. That's not mine. That's Weber's. That's Weber's? With... Oh. Okay, I'm taking it. Yes. I borrowed your- You borrowed mine... your Pugsley. Yeah. Oh, Jesus.
34:43
Is that an original Endomorph on the back of that? Yeah. Wow. I'm keeping that. You don't get that. 'Cause Weber is, like... I thought he said he's, like, 5'9". Yeah, he's- So it's probably a medium... he's my height.
34:52
5'8", 5'9"? How tall are you? I'm 5'6". You are not. Yeah. She wears a lot of hooker boots. You could s- I do wear a lot of hooker boots.
34:58
[laughs] I was gonna say, it's gotta be hooker boots then because, because- You could still ride a medium... it's deceiving... because I don't look at the top of your head very often.
35:04
You could still get away with a medium. And plus, like- [laughs] [laughs] We don't edit, we don't edit anything out. [laughs] Exactly. [laughs] Just so you know. Yeah, all right. I have lower... Yeah. This got weird.
35:15
No, well, I'm 5'10" and I ride a medium, and I probably could ride a large, but I'm right in there. I would say- Yeah. I would say small... I think small would be too small.
35:20
It's also the reach for me I found, 'cause I've tried riding, like, medium frames- Yeah... and then, like, my back starts hurting 'cause, like, the reach is too far.
35:27
You wanna be up, you wanna be upright a little bit more as you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. That's why I like smaller frames. Go quick through your stable. Yeah. Okay. I have my specialized Ruby.
35:35
I have a specialized Pitch for my mountain bike. I have a specialized Diverge for my gravel bike. I have a Fat Boy specialized, and then I- Can I say something right now? Get the fuck out of this.
35:43
Yeah, I'm too fucking preppy. It's like- No, just, just- This, this is why we're having this conversation- Just you, you, you, you, she brought-... because I wanna diversify... you brought a bin of beer. A tub.
35:51
And that's still not enough. It's a bathtub. You ride that many bikes. It's a bathtub of beer. Hey, but I have that new cool- You need a truckload of all those specialized. Yeah, no shit. [laughs] That's ridiculous.
36:00
I didn't realize it was that bad. I do like specialized. I do assume specialized, I know, ride specialized, 'cause I'm not one of those. But anyways- Well- Yeah, I'm too fucking preppy right now. That's my problem.
36:08
[laughs] Well, that's... I, I assume your cockpit is more forward. They're like the BMW owners. Chewy would probably know. Is that a more forward cockpit? Is that a more race position?
36:14
So you're gonna be stretched out a little bit more on a specialized. Some of the... Yeah, some of the ones she has, yeah. They are, yeah. They're more straight, the race- Yeah. Yeah. She's, she's got a couple-...
36:19
or lean bikes. More of a casual ride. She's got kind of a couple road bikes too, which will also put you in that position because I think yours, the, the- The Ruby is a sport. Yeah. They're all carbon too.
36:26
But the Ruby's, but the Ruby's not really like a g- like a gravel bike. Jesus, you just said the C-word. It can be. It can be a gravel bike. Seven. I can put bigger tires on there Oh, is it really?
36:35
But I didn't wanna bother with that, so then I bought the Diverge 'cause I was gonna do a race out in the Dakotas. What race are you gonna do out there? Um, the Gravel Battle or whatever it was.
36:43
The one- I think it's in North Dakota... the one on, the one, the one on the Spearfish? Oh, North Dakota. Yeah, that's a different one. Yeah. North Dakota. Go to Spearfish and ride. It's way better. Is that the 5-0?
36:51
Um, we end up doing the- Yeah, or they do a gravel race too now. Oh, okay. Yeah. What's the trail that goes north to south? I forget now. The Amah? No. Oh, no, you were on road. I don't know. It was a gravel ride.
37:02
Well, every road in North Dakota is gravel. Well- Yeah... it's the big one. It's like I-94 is- [laughs]... the big one. Never mind, it's the big one. I keep on wanting to say the Katy Trail, but that's in Missouri.
37:12
All right, does it go by Mount Rushmore? Mm, yeah. No. Is it? Oh, uh- Before they carved, before they carved that mountain. The Mickelson Trail? Does that sound right? That, that- We can go with that...
37:21
I think that might be right, yeah. It's different. I was just gonna say before they, yeah. It, it, it changes, it changes when it gets into South Dakota, though. I have no fucking clue. [laughs] You know Mount Rushmore.
37:29
You were- Never heard of it. [laughs] There's a bike trail that goes- It takes you by the Crazy Horse too. Oh, it does. It's a fun- So it's right in that, right in that area... it's a tough ride, but it's fun.
37:36
It goes through, it goes through. Does that go by Mount Rushmore? So it's like a Black Hills trail? Yeah. I- Yeah... nobody knows. Yes.
37:40
I was just gonna say, before they carved the presidents' faces into that mountain, it was unprecedented. [laughs] I saw that meme, you nerd.
37:46
[laughs] I was trying to squeeze that joke in for, like, two minutes, you fucker. I was like, "It's a good one." Uh, anywho. [laughs] That was a good one. And I'm edi- That joke's pretty rocky.
37:54
[laughs] I, I am now editing this thing. [laughs] Fuck that shit. You should. It's gone. You should. Come on, edit it. No. We just started dropping bad jokes.
37:59
So anyway, so, so- What's worse, that or having 17 Specializes in the closet? Yeah. [gasps] There's only four. She brought, hey, shh, shh, she brought beer. Shut. Yeah. Yeah. I thought 'cause you liked it.
38:09
No, she's just, she- I'll bring whiskey next time if y'all want. Oh, speaking of which. All right. [laughs] There's a shelf of that up there too. Fuck yeah. Oh, I got a lot more I could add to that shelf.
38:17
There's more whiskey than bikes in here. Mm, yeah, maybe. Well, until you get to the back shed. Well, in, well, no, in here, yeah, yeah. It's not a back room.
38:25
[laughs] No, I clean, I clean bikes out just so there was room for people to sit. [laughs] Usually it's just me in here, me and the dogs. It's just you. So, but anyway, so now you wanna get into actual mountain...
38:33
You don't really have a real mountain bike. I have a specialized Pitch, but I fucking hate it. I actually like my Fat Boy more for mountain biking right now. Right. And that probably cannot be set up single speed.
38:42
There's probably no Specialized can be a single speed probably. Mm. No. No, most of them are g- Um... I think they're all geared. Yeah, but you can, you can set anything up into a single speed.
38:48
They wouldn't have horizontal dropouts. How would you do it? Not extend your bottom bracket either. You just do, you just do a singulator or something. Yeah.
38:55
Or you, you know, and there is such a thing as there is a, a magic gear. On every bike there is a, there is a, a cra- uh, uh, chain ring and- [laughs]...
39:03
and free wheeled cassette up that will give you, like, the- The magic gear- Yeah... that you stretch it.
39:08
And it's probably, like, three to one, and then you stretch the chain [laughs] and you won't be able to ride the corner with it. Well, it just, yeah.
39:13
But, but so a single speed you, I think s- So what do you ride at the Single Speed USA? What are you gonna ride? Um- Somebody else's bike. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] 'Cause there's a lot of dirties.
39:23
I mean, are you, are you looking for a single speed, or are you looking for something geared? Well, I wanna do Single Speed USA, so I need a single speed. Sure. Is that the first bike you're gonna get?
39:31
Are you gonna get a geared bike first? No, I'll probably buy, like, five more bikes. I think we should all show up on some clunkers for Single Speed.
39:34
Honestly, you're gonna come over and help me figure out how to get this going. [laughs] So the next podcast is gonna be at your place? It could. Well, not podcast, but storage-wise. Are we designing your...
39:44
Well, same thing. We'll sit here and talk about it, and then you'll- Yeah, you can do that...
39:47
then you'll have a podcast, and you'll just have to remember to, what number it was, and then you can listen to the podcast and you build your own. I'm gonna call it Podcast 22 'cause that's my lucky number. All right.
39:56
And you can showcase my cute little puppies. And yeah, we can have all the free beer you want. Oh, I'm surprised we haven't had a visit from Clark. Oh, he's already been out here. He was out here. Yeah. Oh, okay.
40:04
Susan, Susan- Which Clark? My leg is wet. Mm. [laughs] Our Corgi. You haven't met the Corgis yet? Oh, no, I have not. Clark's awesome.
40:10
And we can't bring him out here when they're barking 'cause his barking is so sharp that these things just blow up. Yep. Mm-hmm. But, so anyway, back to your bike. I'm trying to stay on task here, so.
40:20
[laughs] We're doing that. Um, uh, yeah, um, uh, I don't know. I, so if you're comfortable on your, if you're comfortable on your Specialized, it's your Fat Boy, right?
40:30
No, she said she's uncomfortable on her Specialized. No, on, on, on- No, I'm not. No, she likes her Fat Boy. No, she likes her Fat Boy. I need a Diverge.
40:35
But the problem is, is I don't, I, you know, and I, and I know other people have done this, that's why I kinda wanna do this, 'cause I know other people have used their winter bikes has become their only off-road bike.
40:45
Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and I, and I, I don't disagree with that, but I, um, and Otso and a couple other ones have done it now where you can buy 5s and they can also put, um, 29 by 3s on there. Yep.
40:57
Which to me- That's the route I was looking to go... y- yeah, and I think, and I think for you too, that'd be the better way. If you, if you're,
41:02
if you're looking at something that's more comfortable riding in the dirt- Oh, okay... but still has the wider type of tire for stability- Mm-hmm...
41:09
you know, and, and, um, the Karate Monkey goes, is a 27.5 now with, um- Yeah... I think you can go up to, you can go about two 5s on that, which is pretty decent, or a Krampus that goes up to three.
41:22
I, personally, I, that would be the way I would direct you because I think you're gonna be much happier on that. I don't wanna change gears or- It's gonna be less drag and stuff and less... It's not gonna be as,
41:31
as comfortable, but it's gonna be a, a better ride overall. You're gonna enjoy your, I think you're gonna enjoy your time on the trails much more than with the wider tires.
41:38
Well, it, when I was in Madison, there was a lot of people that bought Wednesdays, and they were really happy with Wednesdays because, and they, instead of having two bikes, they had two wheel sets. Mm-hmm.
41:47
And they just switched that wheel out in the summer. Right. And that was the way that I was looking to go- Yeah...
41:50
was, like, setting up just, like, a five-inch fat bike for winter and then just switch into, like, the, the three and a half. Yeah. Yeah, the 29s in the summer. To ride, to ride off-road. Yeah.
42:00
And then the, you know, the, the being forward part, I guess, like, is a- also a concern for me because I don't have long arms either, and I'm 5'8", but I, when I ride off road or mountain biking, you know, typically it's a lot of trails.
42:15
You're, you're typically in a more aggressive riding position anyway, is what I found. Mm-hmm. You know, I, I spend a lot more time standing. So- Well, and the nice thing, like-...
42:24
being more, being more for- or being laid back or, like, you know, that more aggressive position is- I, you know... is probably a little bit less of a concern if you're on a mountain bike.
42:32
So this, this, uh, [laughs] this Pugsley here has... Well, that's all stem and, uh, steer tube. So this has what-... four spaces below and five spaces above Yeah, that was- Yeah.
42:42
Well- So- So when Weber sold- You can, you can get comfortable... Weber bought that. Yeah, sure. I think he, I think he actually bought that from one of the Surly guys or one of the QBP guys, and
42:51
we didn't cut the fork off on it because where do you want it cut o- You know, that's kind of the thing. You can cut it off, you know- Cut it off a little bit...
42:56
yeah, but he, then Dave just thought that was cool like that, so he left it as it was That's a Weber thing. Yeah.
43:00
And those handlebars are, like, super narrow, so you would be com- If you go over your handlebars a lot, that is hitting you right in the nuts. That was square in the sack. Yeah, just thinking that. Yes. [laughs] Yeah.
43:07
That's, that's a sack ripper if there ever was one. [laughs] Yeah. But I mean, y- you could ride it for the summer for a while and figure out what's comfortable- [laughs]...
43:15
and then get it to the right spot and- Right, so that's, and that's what a lot of guys do... and pack that shit up. Yeah... I mean, that's, that's why you don't cut the fork off until you figure out... Unless- Right...
43:21
unless you're captain and you've figured out all your geometry has to be exactly the same and you can figure it out with a, with a tape measure and a string, you know- Yeah... then, then you can- Yeah...
43:29
then you don't need that, but- No. Yep. No, th- that's- Yeah... I would just do that. Yeah. Again, you can get a shorter stem. I actually really like- You can get- Well, I, I really liked- I thought it wasn't...
43:38
If you want to ride the-... Ron's Pugsley when I rode that last summer. It's a medium. I had a good time on that. That's the same one I ride. Yeah. But see, I, but personally, I think Pugsleys run a little small.
43:46
And I think just in general, fat bikes run a little bit small frame size. Sure. You know?
43:50
And I don't know if they did that intentionally because of step over in the snow business or if it's just, um, it just gives you better handling. I'm not sure.
43:59
It just, it just to me feels like that's the way most of them are. So again, it's... I think that that might be a medium, but it might be a small also. We can measure it quick and see. Like a shmedium? Shmedium.
44:10
Shmedium. Where's your tape measure? Um- Is it around here?... it's hanging up on the thing over there. Oh, I have to do math. Yeah. That's good. I'm done with math. I'm on my third beer. Wait, I'm on my second beer.
44:19
[laughs] I'm on the second anniversary of my second beer. Yeah, you're drinking that dog water. Well, somebody's gotta drink it. It's either that or else I do it tomorrow. Did you go from middle to the seat tube?
44:29
Yep, middle to the top of the seat tu- or no, middle to the top of the... yeah, the seat tube. Not to the top tube. 18. So that is a medium then. It's a sh- it's, it's not a shmedium? No. It's a, it's a true medium?
44:41
It's a true medium. Yeah. It was a 16, 18 frame. But, but you should still try it because I don't think your legs are that long, and I think you drop the seat down- Yeah... it's gonna give you a more upright position.
44:51
And that's actually what I found on yours, is I was worried about it being not necessarily too big, but- Well-... I was, I dropped the seat down and I was, I was dialed on it, but- Yeah, I mean, it-...
45:03
and I took the kids on a, a long ride with it, and I was like, "I, I, if I'm gonna ride it, I might as well test everything out," so. Well, they don't make Pugsleys anymore, right? No.
45:12
They brought it back and then it died off again. Like, yeah, no, no, no, no. They, uh, they, um, for a while, they kept making just the frame and fork only, just like you just buy the black frame and fork because, um,
45:23
the, you know, the thing about the idea behind the Pugsley was, um, you could... Dave Gray and maybe Andy, I don't remember who all was on it, but they were, they were riding it on the Arrowhead 135. Mm.
45:36
And they were always afraid in the cold weather of the rear derailleur busting up on them. So you, you m- your, if you look at mine, Dave doesn't have it, but on mine I have, I have a cog on the front of mine.
45:47
So if my rear derailleur ever were to crack or break, as long as I have a chain, I can put my chain back together. I can take my front wheel and put it on the back. Yeah. And then I have a single speed.
45:56
I, mine was just made up as a single speed. But I mean, that's... So I have two different gears on there so I can, I can change the wheels if I ever wanted to get that ambitious.
46:03
But that's, that's the general idea behind the Pugsley. Well, the offsets don't have to exist anymore 'cause they figured out how to make hubs that are symmetrical.
46:12
And, um, you know, so like my ice cream truck is the same way. The ice cream truck, uh, or the Moonlander was there, and now we have ice cream trucks instead.
46:21
And, and as is we had Pugsleys, and now we have Wednesdays instead. Yeah. And, and the Wednesdays are the predecessor of the Pugsleys. And, and so, um- I've heard nothing but good things about Wednesdays.
46:31
I've never rode one. I guess I didn't see what the benefit was. Was your pink one an ice cream truck? The one that got stolen. Moonlander. No, that was a Moonlander. Oh, okay. That was the prototype Moonlander.
46:39
That was, uh, that was, like, the geometry was correct, but everything else was wrong on it. [laughs] Like, there was the wrong drop outs and- Probably about to rust through. [laughs] Yeah.
46:49
Hope, hope whoever stole that, yeah, hurt themselves riding it.
46:52
They could be, they could be stabbed with the, the seat tube busted in half and the seat tube went through his chest on that thing as far as I'm- What a dick... I know. But- No, no, never got a word back on that? Nope.
47:01
Um- Nope, she gone. Yeah. Was there another one that got stole too, or is it just yours? Just mine. Just his. Yeah. So
47:09
you should ride that because, because, uh, the thing, the cool thing is, is that the Pugsley profile of the tires, the 26 by three eighths, um, are about the same profile as a 29er tire, so- Yeah, because it's taller.
47:22
Yeah. There's that issue. But because you're a little bit shorter, you probably wanna go with a 27.5 because that's gonna be way more comfortable for you. It just gives you a little more toe clearance.
47:31
Um- How picky are you? [laughs] How much off-road riding do you think you're gonna do? Are you gonna use this more as a gravel bike or are you gonna ride it more off-road? It would be for trails and gravel.
47:41
It'd be for trails and gravel. [laughs] Check, check, can you hear me now? She's like, "Do you need that?" [laughs] Uh, go again, you're last. [laughs] Do you have a bar bike? Or do you- Uh, well that's the new- Yeah...
47:53
Belgian, the fancy boy now. Is this that one? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. The new collector, which I was gonna bring over 'cause I still can't figure out why the tire is rubbing.
48:01
I think it's the fender like you said, but I gotta figure out how to get- I'll bring it over someday. Is it in the fence that makes those- Um, what, uh, what was I gonna say? No idea. But single speed.
48:10
It, well, I'm- So that's what I need to establish. What am I gonna bring to single speed? You gonna stay? Yeah. Clunker. Um- She needs a clunker... ooh. Not a clunker.
48:16
Not in the core you'd wanna ride a cl- Well- She doesn't... Well, we do. Well- She needs a clunker... she needs a clunker. Yeah. Well, you need a clunker, but that's- That's my new Belgian- But, but, oh, that was-...
48:22
the Big Daddy... oh, the, no, no, that was my point. That was my point. [laughs] Every bike she has is a bar bike. Okay. Okay? 'Cause it's specialized. [laughs] No, but- But I'm too fast.
48:29
No, because you- [laughs] See, that's a problem. There is a problem. No matter what- Yeah... if you are a fast geared rider, you're gonna be pushing your bike at single speeds. Yeah.
48:37
You're just, if you're not used to how to ride a single speed, it's a totally different type of riding. That's- You have to-... carry speed differently, you brake differently, you steer differently.
48:46
I mean, you carry speed as much as you can, and you attack in weird spots and you coast in weird spots. It's totally different than geared riding.
48:53
So, no matter what you ride, you're gonna have to push your bike a little bit. But uh- But I can't take a geared bike to a single speed? It's not gonna happen?
48:59
You can, but we will cut your cables and tie it off so you can- Yeah, I don't wanna be the- [laughs] Or duct, duct tape your shifters and everybody will give you shit. [laughs] I like my idea better. Okay.
49:07
[laughs] My bikes are too expensive. You didn't say anything about her bikes being carbon. Your cables aren't expensive. Are you feeling okay? You can cut your cables. No, I ignore it completely. Okay. We get...
49:17
As soon as she gets on her bike, I don't talk to her. [laughs] Because you can't- 'Cause I'm already, like, too loud [laughs] Yeah, she's- [laughs] 'Cause she can't hear you from back there.
49:26
[laughs] I tried making her carry a walkie-talkie one time and she wouldn't. [laughs] [laughs] What? Sorry, I don't speak slow. It's too far out of range. [laughs] I bought her a megaphone. "Come back." [laughs] Yeah.
49:38
I don't know. Can't do it. I don't even... Whoever, I don't even know who makes bikes besides Surly. Well, I mean, the... But I mean, single speed- State? Nobody... Well, State and Single Speed.
49:45
I mean, and so- What do most people ride at Single Speed USA then? Everything, because you can turn anything- Oh... you can turn anything into a single speed. Mm-hmm. I mean, there's...
49:52
You know, I've got kits over here to take them and turn them into single speed, so it can be done easy. Um- There's a lot of salsas. There's a lot of mariachis and, uh... Oh, what's that? What the d- Um...
50:04
I mean- Well, you have one. What's the one you got from Greg, or Greg got from you? Did Fargo? Oh, the Fargo? Yeah. Well, my... You... That's... The Fargo isn't, but I, my, made mine into one. Okay.
50:15
Um, and as I say, you can put anything into a single speed. It's, it's just a matter of using a chain tensioner.
50:20
And, and there's a lot of people that do that, but there's also, you know, sp- at one time, Specialized, Trek, all the big companies made single speed mountain bikes. Yeah. And they were all pretty much all 29ers too.
50:28
The fr- You know, the original ones, Surly's original ones were 26s, and that's what a lot of people were riding. And now pretty much all the single speeds are 29. Um, I think Carver, I think...
50:38
Uh, is Captain's Carver a single speed? No. And that's a 69er. Um, no. So they put a 29er in the front, a 26 in the back. And they're... It's a, it's a, it's a niche bike, but it does work really well.
50:51
Like, um- Yeah, Trek made a 96er. Yep. Um, yeah. I know Trek saw your... You don't see a lot of those. Those are kinda cool. I wish they would've still made that one. Yeah.
51:02
I can't, I can't- It reminds me of my Trek though... remember what Trek that I wanna buy. Well, I can't remember what, I can't remember what the- She rides Specialized. She ain't getting on a Trek. I don't like Trek.
51:06
You sh- you should stop down and talk to Bob and see. He's probably got one laying in a pile of dust in the back, 'cause he, he did sell- I've, uh, put enough money into Bicycle Sports- Yeah...
51:14
so yeah, he could probably hook me up. He, uh, they're, they had- Doubtful... they had, um- Well, now I'm gonna... I ride with the RASS crew. They recruited me, so now I'm like... Ooh, she's a big deal.
51:23
You get, like, special discounts and stuff, I guess. Why are you even here? Yeah, if they- Oh, yeah, she bought a lot of gear. Never mind... you're in. Stop. I'm a social butterfly, but I just wanna hang- Yeah, well-...
51:30
with the cool kids. Yeah, well- You know me. Bike, beer, and shenanigans, I'm in. [laughs] [laughs] All right. Well. That's, that's true, but you also threw the other S word in there, and that's not good.
51:37
Hey, we're her other friends. [laughs] It's the other S word. She's like, "You gotta be nice to me or I'm leaving." Yeah, if we walked into the bar right now- Fucking keep the chain nice...
51:44
and her other friends- [laughs] If we walked into the bar with our other friends in there, she would just, like, ditch us. I know. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.
51:49
[laughs] She'd be hanging with us and the door would open, and be like, poof. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. I just walked in with these guys. What am I doing here? The blinders go on. I don't see those guys. Uh-huh.
51:58
I don't see those guys standing behind me tapping me on the shoulder. False. [laughs] Nah, you're my favorite. Drinking their Two Dicks water and- Two Dicks. [laughs] Two Dicks. [laughs] In spandex.
52:08
Actually, it's more my, my style, but- I forgot, D's go the other way. [laughs] Whoa. [laughs] Hey, that's try before you buy. That, I assume- There you go... that means triathlon. [laughs] You need that tattoo. Anyways.
52:22
[laughs] Tramp stamp. So what, what else was on the agenda? That was it. I didn't think it was gonna be this easy buying her a bike. I thought we'd just- Well, I don't think we, we came to any conclusion whatsoever.
52:32
What was the conclusion? Yeah. [laughs] So, so, yeah, so- Yeah. [laughs] She hasn't ridden shit. [laughs] No, so I... Here's what I would say. 27.5 tires, or 26 because you're shorter. You're not gonna like riding a 29.
52:42
So we're not gonna recommend a brand or a frame? No. Well, I would. Just- But, but every brand you'd recom- that you and I would recommend, you're not gonna find a bike. Yeah. There's no bikes out there.
52:52
That's the biggest problem. That's the tough one. You're gonna be looking for something used. We should... We'll have to do a... Yeah, I'm sorry.
52:56
Going to Scheels and buy a specialized- No, I wanna see what this light bulb was. [laughs] It was a very exciting light bulb. Oh, fuck it. Yeah. But- No, it c- it can't be sing- I got a... I shouldn't even tell.
53:05
Chewy will disown me, but I have a Salsa Beargrease I've rode, like, nine times, and, uh- And you can't- But that can't be single speeded... and you can't give it away anyway.
53:13
Um- You've been trying for, like, six months now and nobody'll take it off your hands. Was that the one when I was looking for a, a fat bike that you're like, "Oh, I have one I've been thinking of getting rid of"?
53:20
Probably. Yeah. Okay. I think it was, yeah. But you, you can't- But yeah, you can't single speed that thing anyway I don't need another fat bike, though. No. I really like my fat bike.
53:28
Well, no, and you know, and that, and that, and I guess my point was- And now when you can't switch to single speed...
53:31
and my point was gonna be is you're gonna buy something like that, I would get something along the line of a Wednesday. You don't need another five-inch wide tire. Yeah. You could go with a three.
53:38
Mine's a four on my fat bike, I think. Well, 4.8. Specialized does a five. So technically it's a five. That classifies as a five. Close. Close. Nine. Yeah. The, the Fat Boys were f- are 4.8s. This is Chewy math.
53:47
But it is kinda... Well, it's kinda- Ballpark... nice to have that, though, like, 'cause you just never know. You know?
53:52
It's like you might get on a bike that is a, like a 3.5 tire that you can put a 4.8 on- But she wants-... and you fall in love with it, and it might turn into your new fat bike. You know? Well, true.
54:02
It's like- No, but- Every bike has that potential, right? I mean, like- I could put smaller tires on mine, though. Um- You certainly could do that to what you have now. Well, you have to be care- True...
54:09
you have to be careful with that, too, because, like, remember when, um... What was the company? Alaskan? What's the company out of the Cities that came up with those?
54:19
And whoever has, whoever kept this carbon fiber then. Is that Alaskan? Didn't they... Oh. The frame. The frame. Frame, that's it. Yeah. Oh. Frame. Yeah, yeah.
54:26
You said frames are shit, so I didn't even bother looking it up. I don't... Well, the only- A lot of people that ride them, though. I think how they got there- Because, yeah...
54:31
I think their first bikes, their entry level shit was, was- Well, because, because- Yeah, they were like the test and tune bikes. Yeah.
54:36
But- Well, no, but they were, but they were, but their ideal was, and I think that's why it brought up Otsco earlier- I think it was Minnesota, isn't it? Because Captain's... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're not.
54:43
Nobody's bikes are made in Minnesota. Well, it's a Minnesota company. I thought framed or... Yeah. Yeah, it's Cities guys. They don't count. They're in their own little country up there.
54:50
Um- [laughs] That's just Minneapolis. True. Um- And you have dual citizenship, so sh- [laughs] [laughs] But, but they, but they tried to do it right away. In fact, they sold their bikes as a 26-
55:03
By three eights, and then they s- and then you got a set of 29er tires with it. Yes. Remember that? Yes. And they were fucking god awful. I remember those. They were horrible off road. Yes. Um, with the 29ers.
55:13
With the 26ers, I think they were okay. Well- And that was the framed? It was framed. Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was the original ones, and then they did the 2.0, which was an improvement on that, right? Yeah. Yeah.
55:22
'Cause Keegan has- Well-... that Frame 2.0. Yeah. And that's his winter commuter. Right. But he did make mention that he likes his Surly- Well-... much more for off-road... I think it, they shipped it to your house.
55:35
You were able to get that bike for, like, 700 bucks or less, so. Yeah, and that's what he said. It was, like, just a cheap- And if you're curious-... package...
55:40
I, I wrote an article about it for fatbike.com called Fat and the Curious. [laughs] So, because it would get you in if you didn't want to- Sure. No, no... do the high price tag. Yeah.
55:47
Well, and you know what, and, and right now people are s- I can...
55:50
You can't believe how many people ask me, looking for a used, um, fat bike, and they're kind of out there, but there's not a- If you literally sit every day and watch, like, Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist and whatnot- But the markets-...
56:00
you'll find it... they go quick. Yeah. They don't last, right, yeah. That's the cool thing, though. If you, if you dabble with a fat bike and it's like, "Nope, this isn't for me,"
56:10
you can l- unload it, because you can't buy them new right now. Right. Yeah, exactly. You know, and that's, that's the crazy thing. Mm-hmm. Oh, shit, was I sp- that was what that meant? You needed to film?
56:18
[laughs] I'll, I can move. I can move myself. Slacking. [laughs] I'm gonna step over the top. Thank you. Keep... Nobody's talking when you're up anyway. Yeah. [laughs] Distracted. Yeah. Just talk.
56:28
I can No, but I think that's, uh, that's always a cool way to go, too, is if you do... I mean, you aren't gonna find a new one. Right.
56:35
But I think, you know, the, the market is such where if you pick one up on Facebook and you're like, "Nope, this bike sucks," somebody's gonna buy it from you. Yeah. You sell it outright. You know?
56:44
And it doesn't matter if it's a framed or a Surly, 'cause I've noticed the same thing, that you, if you, if you watch it daily, there's all sorts of shit moving through there.
56:54
It's all, like, large and extra large frames, though. That's my problem. That's, and that's the tough part is, like, you're gonna... If you're gonna buy something, you're gonna have to be on it, like, cash in hand. Yeah.
57:04
And if it comes across, you're gonna have to be like, "I'll fucking take it." Yep. You know? Yep. First one on it. Yep. And don't negotiate. Yeah, y- figure out what, in your head, what you want to spend. Yep.
57:12
And you see it, and you're like, "It's close, and I can get it today. I can get it after work." Yep. Yeah, get that and, and jump on it. Yep. Um, I'm trying to think of, like, what's out there.
57:20
I've had the Salsa Mariachis, El Mariachis, a few of those. Karate Monkey, Krampus. Krampus, I don't know. Are Krampuses around, the 29 plus? Um, you can buy them right off the Surly website right now.
57:33
Those aren't hard to get. Do they have them? They don't- Yeah. They don't... They're not hard to get? I'm offended. I bought. [laughs] That's, I thought it was cool. Well, that, that's- I thought it was cool.
57:39
[laughs] That's actually... Well, that's interesting, because I was checking a while ago- I was just looking a few weeks ago, and I thought I could order one right off the site. Okay. Yeah.
57:46
I thought I was checking a while ago, and there wasn't shit. Okay. But that was also probably six months ago, so- Yeah. Well see-... Ron would, Ron would probably know if the, um, the Krampuses are readily available.
57:58
We're gonna find out in two seconds here. Yeah, I guess he's got the computer up there. I'll look it up. He's got the computer. Well, I mean, like, my Krampus- Would you do that as single speed? Would that be fun enough?
58:04
I, I'm the wrong guy to ask. I, in the off road- I rode my six-speed Pugsley for years until that Krampus came out. Oh. Ron will single speed anything. Yeah. And I'm just a younger Ron.
58:13
[laughs] The, the only thing- [laughs] The only thing I, the only thing I, the only thing I will tell you about- Sorry to hear. [laughs]... about doing... [laughs] Sorry about your bad luck, man.
58:20
[laughs] The only thing I will say about a, um, a, uh, single speed Karate or Krampus with a three, well, anything with a 29 by three-inch tires, getting them rolling to start with is kind of a pain in the ass.
58:34
Once they're going, they're fine. It's all gear ratio, man. I mean, Brett really likes his Karate Monkey. Brett doesn't know how to fucking ride off road. Don't even, don't... He doesn't count.
58:42
His sons are in mountain biking. Yeah, I know. They ride, they ra- they do the, the Nike races. You might as well go do a gravel road race. They're...
58:50
And, and, and no, [laughs] and no, Brett doesn't ride with his kid on the trails. [laughs] This is the part where Sh- Chewy shits on everything that he di- hasn't personally done. Brett, I'm sorry.
58:59
I'm not, I'm not throwing you under the bus here, but- [laughs] He, he's not gonna, he's not gonna listen to this anyway. If any of his friends listen to this show, he wouldn't have friends. [laughs] That's...
59:09
I listen to it. He doesn't have friends, but he- We're still friends. [laughs] He doesn't have friends, but he pays well. [laughs] Well, you need somebody to play goalie. That's right.
59:15
So you gotta be nice to the guy that'll play goalie. That's true. That's how it works. I'm not any good, but we, we're desperate.
59:20
I don't know anything about hockey, but I've- I've been sent by the hockey group to be like, "Hey, buddy. You just got off a concussion. Sure you don't wanna play tonight?" [laughs] Yeah. You don't gotta move a lot.
59:29
[laughs] No, he doesn't move at all. I s- don't, I don't have to have great angles. Whatever that means. Okay. Whatever that means. I don't know. Oh, fuck. We're at, we're at- I don't, I don't know.
59:39
I'm not gonna explain hockey to you... hey, how much longer are we past an hour can we go with this? Till whenever we find our conclusion here. [laughs] Oh my God. I need to find a fucking bike, man. Stop it.
59:46
I'm just- Do you want a mountain bike? Well, but here's the thing. Would, would you like a mountain bike? When it comes to single speed, um, whatever geometry you're good with and gear ratio.
59:53
So if you can single speed it out, and you can change your gear ratio of, like, I usually go, like, two to one. A lot of guys will do, you can go one to one if you want. Or if they O'Gear it.
1:00:02
So, um, no, one to one's slow. No, gears- Two, two to one's high. Yeah, two to one's what Gear, O'Gear runs. Yeah. Yeah. All the, all the fast guys run two to one. That's what I run. Okay, so here's the deal.
1:00:11
I'm not fast. A Krampus first, a Krampus first loser, none. Oh, none? Oh, really? I was gonna say that- Stand, stand by. I'm just getting started.
1:00:17
I'm just gonna- Can I have a- I'm just gonna burst all your bubbles here in about two seconds. Wait, wait. We need a tiny one, don't we? Would you fix this fucking fridge? Why?
1:00:27
Oh, it's been like that for y- it, it was like that when I lived here. Gives it character. Yeah. Back in the '80s whenever I was- I feel like it's an easy fix. Thank you. Then fix it. Easy? It's your fucking fridge.
1:00:37
[laughs] I'm just gonna, I'm just here to bitch about it. Okay. So l- we're, we're moving on to a Fool's Gold Karate Monkey. Zero. I would be kinda shocked, 'cause I don't- Oh, really? Your bikes are everywhere.
1:00:47
Just telling you... and, and, and here's the thing, and, and most of this stuff doesn't have a, doesn't have a date of- There's nothing in that pile of bikes back here in the other shed- [laughs]... that would fit her?
1:00:58
Something- Hmm. Hey, there's a pink- There's gotta be something... I'm buying one in, in there. The, with the suspension fork. Oh, Su's, Sue would sell hers. No, that one? Yeah. That's mine. I kinda like that bike. Okay.
1:01:07
He's a whore. That's changed whores. But you can ride it. That's changed whores. [laughs] No, that- Changed hands. [laughs] It was my ex's bike. I'm sorry. [laughs] [laughs] It's changed hands a few times, and you...
1:01:19
Well, it was your kid's bike, then it was your bike, then it was her bike, then it was your bike again. Yeah, it was. It is a whore bike. [laughs] Well, no, no, no. It was, it was... Yeah, it was, it was Tanner's bike.
1:01:27
Yeah. And then it was Kat's bike. Mm-hmm. And then it was- Well, that was your bike in between there. No, no, no, and then I got it after that. I bought it from Kat. Oh, I... Yeah, yeah.
1:01:34
'Cause Kat gave me first dibs on that and the Straggler. Yep. And, uh, and, and... But you could... Uh, but the thing is- The Straggler is more of like a roadie or like a gravel bike, right? Gravel bike, yeah. Yeah.
1:01:42
Gravel bike, yeah. But, but the, uh... But you could try that one. Um, that one has 27.5 wheels on it, and it works.
1:01:50
It's, it's limited as to what it can have for tires on there, 'cause you- One by one can only have 26, right? No, the... No, that's the one by one. That Pink one was only- One by one can do 27 by? You can, but the...
1:01:59
But you're limited in tire size. Oh, okay. Um, and you know, and then... And the, the front fork is never a problem. It's always the rear triangle that's a problem. Yeah. So, uh, but it, it's...
1:02:08
And then that suspension fork that's on there, I, I... So I have the, I have the rigid fork for it, but it's brand new and never been out of the box. [laughs] I just can't bring myself to put it on there- [laughs]...
1:02:18
even though I should. I gotta... Well- Well, tell you what... I'm not related to your idea. [laughs] Here's a, here's the other thing. If we drive... If, if Spinner... Well, I'm gonna drive down to Texas. I'll...
1:02:27
I can always bring my Karate Monkey back, and you can try it. As soon as you can drive, your first trip's gonna be to Texas. [laughs] Yes, that's right.
1:02:32
[laughs] When I'm able to start driving again, um- I'm gonna drive across country It's got another month. Yep. Uh, yeah, December- Another month... the 4th, December 5th. So December, January, February.
1:02:44
Yeah, March 5th, I can start driving again. All right. I'm going to Bentonville beginning of March. Are you really? Yeah. It's on the way. And I'm going in May. How long are you gonna be down there for? Uh, about a week.
1:02:54
And then I'm going in May with the Rotor crew for like- Yeah... almost a week. Um- If... How, how are, how are you able to ride with Rask and the Rotor crew? I ride with everybody.
1:03:03
So Rask, funny story, a couple of them were stalking my Strava rides. And so they went and commented on my Strava, and they're like, "Hey, you should come ride with us."
1:03:13
And now I've been riding with them Monday, Wednesdays. Uh, the first person that said, "Hey, we've been following you on Strava," the second person- [laughs]...
1:03:19
should just stab me through the heart with a fucking rusty knife. It's like the, those are the- They're like-... two worst [laughs] things you could say on a show... they're like the highest- Yeah.
1:03:27
Following me and- Like, we have a lot of strong riders on, like, T&R, Rotor, and, and Jackhammer are definitely strong riders. But like- There's, there's not a-... these guys, like- There's not a-...
1:03:34
I get my ass handed to me every time I ride with them... no, there's not a s- s- single strong rider on TR- T&R rides. No. I was gonna say, who's the- Jeremy's a strong rider... Jeremy is not.
1:03:42
If there's booze in front of him, he can get the- Jeremy, I'm not throwing you under the bus. [laughs] Stop apologizing. Yeah. 'Cause I'm riding with Rask. You, you act like people listen to this shit. Yeah, right?
1:03:52
Maybe. No. I listen. Oh, yeah, but you don't have a life. You have all specialized. Okay. La- Yeah... last question I wanna ask you. And this- Wow.
1:03:59
[laughs] I don't even know if this is possible, but for SingleSpeed USA, can we single-speed our Big Fat Dummies? They have sliding dropouts in the back. We can, yeah. We should single-speed our Big Fat Dummies.
1:04:09
[laughs] We can't ride our own race. Oh, fuck- Why can't you ride your own race?... to two riders. Oh, wait, wait, wait, stop. It's a stage race. I fucked up. What? W- that's, that was our second topic. What?
1:04:20
Okay, we're done buying you a bike. Sorry. It wasn't on the list. [laughs] Hit the bell. I heard you have a few options for me in town- Wait, do you have something?...
1:04:24
so I hope you have- If you'd like to leave, no, you can leave your beer and go. No, just kidding. [laughs] [laughs] Oh, sh- oh, oh. Jesus, you pour it out on this carpet of bike shop floor. No, this is, this is a...
1:04:35
No, no, we have to get on to serious stuff. Okay, what's the... You wanna ring the bell? Uh, yeah, go ahead. We gotta ring the bell before we change topics. Well, let, let- We tried to buy you a bike... let- I know...
1:04:43
but- Let Caleb ring the bell. [bell rings] Oh, nice going. Oh, sorry. Dickhead. We've, we've narrowed- Yeah, I mean-... from a full pizza, you're down to like- You can ring the bell...
1:04:48
two sli- you're down to a q- a quarter of a pizza. Well, don't... We'll do part two where she actually comes out here and rides a bike, and we'll s- [laughs] we'll, we'll set the podcast up for problems.
1:04:55
She brings all her friends. Yeah. The fast guys and the Rask guys- No, no, no... and the Rock guys and whatever the hell. I, I don't wanna bring them on. No. Rask guys are not allowed at my house. [laughs] I believe it.
1:05:02
It... Yeah. Is that Charlie Tree? Huh? Is he still around? Yeah, but Charlie doesn't ride for anybody. He just drives a truck- Like-... and fixes bikes...
1:05:07
he and Mark and Dave and all those guys I know their names, but I don't like any of them. [laughs] They're not bad guys. [laughs] What? They're all a fun time. No. Were you just not cool enough to get into Revengence?
1:05:18
Is that what happened? No, I've been with Revengence- No... for years now. Yeah. Who are they? They just are not Rask. She's just fucking with everybody. I was like- I really do ride with them...
1:05:24
we're, we're just talking about hard. What did you say? [laughs] Sh- just, like, she's with everyone. I do. And I mean that with all due respect. [laughs] Thank you. At least somebody is gonna be slow today.
1:05:36
[laughs] Jesus. [laughs] So- Rod's over here just hating on all my friends. Where is this show going? [laughs] So I said, she like- Is, is she like- [laughs] That's my job...
1:05:45
send out a text message, like, "All right, who wants to ride?" Honestly- Then she just kinda like feels it out...
1:05:50
it is kind of annoying to ride with multiple groups 'cause every single day, especially Monday, Wednesdays, I'm on all these text threads now because I'm on multiple groups.
1:05:57
And I'm on Jackhammer's WhatsApp, I'm on all the different Snapchats. Yeah, how does that go? So like every day everybody's like, "You wanna ride? You wanna ride?" Do you tell them like, "Mm, riding with this group.
1:06:04
Fuck you guys." I never say. I just show up. All right. She's, she's a woman of mystery. Which is actually what happened here tonight. Yeah. We didn't invite her here. I don't like committing- She showed up...
1:06:10
to anything. Yeah. I like her. Did anybody tell you to start recording? Oh, shit. [laughs] We haven't been recording this whole time? No, we, no, we, we have done that. We, I mean, yeah.
1:06:20
[laughs] I was gonna say, does that happen before? No, him and I, him and I dropped like a 45 minute of like- No. [laughs] I'll, I'll call it pure gold, but it probably wasn't. No, no, the, the- We...
1:06:29
He's like, "Oh, fuck." If it's not on tape, it was pure gold then. No. Who was it? It was me, you, and- No, that was the one we had... Were you not here when Jeremy was out here?
1:06:34
The, the best one was is we were telling stories. It was a Tuesday night, guys, remember? He told me about that one. Sema- Sema and all those people. Like an hour and a half. Yeah, and then we finally got...
1:06:42
And, and like in the middle of us go, "I'm not fucking recording." [laughs] And that's where it started. And fucking Gomez would not post it. It was- Oh, really? It was hilarious. Oh, yeah. It was so...
1:06:51
We, I pl- I've, I've literally- It's not as funny as the one that wasn't recorded, though. [laughs] The memories. No, no, no, because we missed good stories out of there. 'Cause then you're like, "Oh, fuck," Yeah...
1:06:58
"what did we talk about?" No, no, we just ke- we just continued on with the conversation, so there was some, there was some good- So it picks up with just like- Yeah... nobody knows what the fuck's going on.
1:07:05
Well- Are we still going with this show? I gotta piss. Yeah. Don't get any on you. All right. [laughs] Yep. We're gonna go, we're gonna get... We're gonna go an hour and 15, so we got, we got eight minutes, you clowns.
1:07:13
Yeah. Are you guys gonna go piss together? That's weird. No. [laughs] Why? It does s- It's a hard pass. [laughs] Does, does seem to happen out here at times. Uh, fuck no. [laughs] Yeah.
1:07:25
Okay, now that Spinner's gone, he's, we can't talk about what he wants to. So, are, what... So, what are you looking for in a bike? You're gonna go used I'm assuming.
1:07:33
Yeah, I always pretty much 'cause, yeah, I can still find stuff that's like, says used, but it's not. Like my Fat Boy, that's used, but the guy was a roadie and he rode it once. Yeah.
1:07:43
Well, there's, the, the nice thing about- There's a lot of that out there... the, well- Yeah...
1:07:46
especially finding fat bikes, I mean, it's getting harder to find because that, that, that we've kinda gone through that phase now.
1:07:51
But, um, I think you can still find a decent Karate Monkey- If I were to pick a Surly-... a decent, a decent-... to diversify into a single speed, what would you pick?
1:08:01
Um, for what you're talking about, I would do a, I would do a Karate Monkey- Karate Monkey... rather than a Pugsley. Karate Monkey. Yeah.
1:08:06
I think, I think you're gonna like- The Single Speed USA, is that like a lot of trail, or is there gravel riding in it? It's all trail. It's all trail? Yeah.
1:08:12
Well, except for when we ride from one course to the next because it's a three-course race. Speaking of which, very... Ding the bell. [laughs] Very nice segue. Next con- [laughs]... next conversation. Yep.
1:08:21
Uh, Single Speed USA. Yeah. Go ahead. [laughs] We're gonna squeeze this into six minutes? This- I feel like we need our own show... this, well, no, this is- with, like, watches... this is just the announcement.
1:08:29
This is like what RAGBRAI does in 15 minutes though. Okay. So, August 21st or 20th, that weekend. I think it's, is it 19, 20, 21? Something like that. [smacks lips] Excuse me. Decorah, Iowa. Um,
1:08:46
we're gonna call it a stage race. S- First stage won't count, but it'll just give you a taste of the trails. And then... And that, and that's gonna be the original time trial course for Decorah? Yeah. From 27 years ago?
1:09:00
Basically we'll say, um, there's Twin Springs Parks, Twin Springs Park in Decorah, and uh, it's really cool. There's a big stone bench and, you know, s- actual springs.
1:09:10
Um, and it might be hot, so people can jump in the water if they want, but there's like a one-mile course it, which would give you a good taste of that first, you know, when your heart jumps out of your chest on a big climb when you first start, and you'll get that done.
1:09:23
[laughs] And then, um, I don't know how much... I'll just say everything 'cause this probably won't happen anyway. [laughs] But then w- we'll, we'll do a big group ride through town.
1:09:33
So the nice part about this is that there's so many parks in town. We're gonna use, uh, three of 'em, and we won't even use the fourth one.
1:09:39
But, um, then we can go from that trail, take the dug road through the campground into town, and then have the fire department, fire trucks lead us through town and have the streets blocked off.
1:09:49
Then we go from- Oh, that sounds fun... yeah, all, down the main street, down Water Street, past D Shop. You know, then we go out to the trails. Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
1:09:56
And then, um, we'll hop into Death Valley there, and then we'll do Van Peenen for the second part and Ice Cave for the last part. Um, yeah. And then, uh, Hollywood's bad. Wants to come down and play.
1:10:08
DNF, which I don't know if it's did not finish, it's Daddy's Night Time Friends. Yeah, it's the- [laughs] I think it is.
1:10:14
Yeah, yeah, it's called Daddy's Night Time Friends, but, you know, DNF is, like, did not finish, you know? Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. It, it's- Yeah... it's a, it's a thing on a, on a race thing.
1:10:21
If you're at the bottom of the list, it means it's DNF, DNF. DNF. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, and they call it Daddy's Night Time Friends. And it's, it's- I like that version better. [laughs] Oh, oh, yeah.
1:10:28
[laughs] And they, and they're really good. I mean, they're really... And Hollywood is gonna come out of retirement. I don't know if he's gonna race, because he retired.
1:10:34
Well, uh, [laughs] can you retire from single speed racing? Yeah. [laughs] Well, the first time I've met him in, like, in a race is at Single Speed Winona, uh, Minnesota. When, when was that? 2013 maybe. Yeah.
1:10:48
And, uh, he came around the corner and he, and he stopped and put his bike sideways and sat down and had a beer, so, like, everybody had to stop. Nobody could ride past his bike.
1:10:54
[laughs] So he stopped everybody in the middle of the trail. He wasn't trying to win that day. We, no, we've, we've... Well, he won Single Speed Worlds, and then we basically- He was fast as fuck, yeah...
1:11:05
oh, yeah, and then we took him out to, uh, Downeyville, California, uh, to try to retain his title.
1:11:11
I don't, I can't remember who won it, but it was, that was about the time it was starting to get, went from a silly idea to starting to get big and then it got really big after that. Yeah. Yeah.
1:11:19
It was- I talked to him one time. I'm like, "I heard there's a rumor that you won the Decorah, uh, Time Trials," which was the longest running mountain bike race in the Midwest for a while. Yep.
1:11:28
And I'm like, "I heard you won that in flip-flops." He's like, "Dude, that's not true." I'm like, "Can I still tell it?" He's like, "Yeah." [laughs] No, he was, he was...
1:11:36
There was a time, and I, and I probably got this story screwed up, but, i- there was a time when he was, like, literally making house payments off of bike racing. Yeah. So he would go to like- Nice...
1:11:45
a road race on Saturday, and if he was doing shitty, he would bail on it and go do the mountain bike race on Sunday, just to try to, you know, make a little cash on the side. He was basically...
1:11:53
And he, and he was doing well. I mean, not only was he fast, but he's like, has a hiccup, has a mechanical. It's like, "Fuck this race. I got another one tomorrow."
1:12:00
And he was doing this every we- every weekend, all summer long. Nice. You know, and it was before, I think it was before cyclocross got really big.
1:12:07
I think at that time there was maybe, I wanna say maybe eight cyclocross races in Minnesota, so it was a s- it was a small thing. But up until then, it was like road race, mountain bike race every weekend.
1:12:18
He was on it, and he was fast as shit. Yeah. God, he was fast. Probably still is. I mean, he still is fast. Yeah, I mean, he was, he was- How old is he? Older than you? Uh, 50- [laughs] Nobody's older than Rob.
1:12:28
[laughs] 51 maybe, 52. Right there. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And originally from, uh, Cedar Rapids, right? Yep, I think so. Where Jingle Cross is. Yeah. Yeah. Good old Iowans. Good old Iowans. [laughs] Fucking Iowans. Yeah.
1:12:43
We're the coolest, honestly. [laughs] We're the coolest. We- We are the coolest... we kemosabe, okay. [laughs] So anyway, Single Speed USA, Decorah, Iowa. August. Stage race, August 21st. Stage r- air quote, race. Yeah.
1:12:57
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's never really a race. Yeah. It's, it's basically making fun of us.
1:13:01
I guess the big thing, we'll make the big announcement, and then one big part that everybody needs to know is that there will be no common campground, but there's a lot of Airbnbs, hotels.
1:13:09
And the reason we picked August that weekend is that, so we have Toppling Goliath does not have a beer release that weekend. It's before Luther College is there. It's after Nordic Fest, and it's after RAGBRAI. Nice.
1:13:19
So we had, like, this little- Good call... you know- Window... yeah, little window where you should be able to get hotel rooms and Airbnbs and things like that.
1:13:26
So- So you're saying that's the only weekend in August it's gonna rain like a motherfucker. Probably. [laughs] Hey, you hush over here. No bad juju. [laughs] But I'm gonna- So here's the, here's the bigger question.
1:13:35
Are you coming down? I think I might make this one. You better. You're already in. You have to. You already know I'm in. Well, you I'm not worried about. Yeah.
1:13:42
There's a party- We already talked about how all summer we're gonna spend, like, at least once a week down there, so.
1:13:45
You, yeah, t- and, and, and I've already fig- yeah, so this is my new, my new riding/driving partner down to Decorah and back. 'Cause you need a ride for another month.
1:13:53
[laughs] Well, depending on how I ride, I might need it longer than that. [laughs] [laughs] Planning on headbutting any more walls? Oh, I- [laughs] There is a plan. So it's the, I want the- Yeah.
1:14:06
[laughs] I'm, I, I'm never, I'm never counting it out, let's put it that way. [laughs] Does this happen on one day, or is it a weekend thing? No, think about it this way.
1:14:12
We, no, here's, here's the p- here- Uh, multiple days. Yeah. So it's 19th and the 20th. It's Friday, Saturday. So it's Tw- yeah, 20th is the day. So, so 20th is the day, yeah. Saturday. That's Saturday.
1:14:22
So Saturday the 20th. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna wanna be there on the 19th. You're gonna wanna be there. Plan on, don't plan on getting up early Sunday. [laughs] No. Well, 'cause he, this pi- I've already-...
1:14:30
this pylon over here was like, "It's the 21st." That's what he told me. [laughs] Sunday. I'm just his assistant in this deal. All right. I'm not running this fucking thing. [laughs] Okay. I didn't win it.
1:14:40
So- Yeah, I didn't win it, sorry... August 19th- Which was dumb... 20th, and the 21st. Yes. Yes. Got it. Yep, yeah. And then you're coming to race?
1:14:48
The, the- Well, you can, you can park your camper in, uh, my house if you want. I may need to buy a bike for this. That's what I'm talking about. You have a clunker. That's the whole point.
1:14:55
Oh, we're back on this now again? No. See, you have to, you need to come down- I already- Okay... bought one... and ride before, so you get a feel for it. That's it. We're done. Fuck you, guys. We're done talking.
1:15:03
[laughs] Bell. No, we're done. [laughs] Listen, watch. I'm gonna... [laughs] We're done. [laughs] That took you too long to get there. There's no fade in or nothing. Like, awkward silence. Yeah. And tonight.
1:15:17
We're outside. See you everybody. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you for helping me out.
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