Home
Podcast Archive
About
Search
Log In
Subscribe
Search
Full Spectrum Cycling
Chewey’s Salon Chair #32 – The Will Chewey and Brad Get Fired Hockey Edition
Jul 10, 2023
Chewey’s Salon Chair #32 – The Will Chewey and Brad Get Fired Hockey Edition
15
30
00:00
1:02:01
Listen on
Apple Podcasts
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Spotify
Pocket Casts
Pocket Casts
Castro
Castro
Transcript
0:00
[rock music plays] Here we go.
0:43
Podcast number 32 of Chewy's Salon Chair. Um, the, um, Brad and Chewy are gonna get fired from their coaching jobs edition. [laughs] Possibly.
0:54
Um, it's just the two of us here tonight just because there's been some things going on in Minnesota in the hockey world that, um, w- one way or another is, I don't know what's necessary affecting us in our jobs right now, but it's something that we've been around and decided to do a little bit more of a serious podcast and talk about coaching,
1:15
coaches getting fired and chased out of their jobs by parents. Um, there was a, a- Or coaches resigning... or coaches resigning because of parents. So we've got d- uh, cases of two...
1:26
Well, we've known more cases than that, it just is, but these are the ones that if you follow any kind of sports in Minnesota, and hockey's one of the bigger sports here in the state, and
1:37
to be honest with you, there's a, there's a coach that's a bit of an icon in the state of Minnesota. He played for the Gophers. He played a little bit of pro in the state, too.
1:46
So he's, he's, everybody knows his name, and he took a girls team from Orono, Minnesota, and took them...
1:54
I think it was a decent team to start with, but then they went to state and they lost to a really good, uh, Hur- Warroad... Warroad team. Yep Which is, you know, and they- Lost the state championship...
2:04
yeah, so their record was 24-4-4, and he got into it with a couple parents and they, he wound up basically jokingly said he was gonna retire, whatever, and then he wound up having to resign. Yeah.
2:17
Um, and then the AD resigned. Yeah, I saw that. And then did you see who the new coach is? I did see they hired someone. Yeah, it's the boys JV coach. The boys JV coach. Yeah. Okay.
2:26
Now, look, I am telling you right now, if y'all lose your job, I'm not taking over for you. [laughs] Oh, come on. It's not gonna happen. You're getting fired way before I will. [laughs] Oh, I'm very sure of that. Yeah.
2:37
[laughs] I have gotten to the point where, and this is part of it, I'm not keeping my mouth shut anymore. You know, and that's, like, Larry Olum is his name,
2:47
um, you know, one of my favorite Gophers f- from a long time ago. A great hockey mind.
2:53
And you know, the, the funny thing was is they, you know, they started out hot and they kinda cooled off towards the end of the season. That was when they got their couple ties, I believe.
3:02
Uh, but they, they came into the state tournament and, um, kinda rolled their way through and beat some teams that they probably weren't supposed to beat. And somebody they'd lost to earlier, right? Yeah.
3:13
I can't remember which team it was. It was- Yeah, it was in sections, I think. Yep. And, uh, yeah, they, you know, weren't supposed to get to where they got and it was kind of a great story.
3:21
I remember watching the tournament being like, "Wow, this team is playing amazing."
3:24
They're, they're playing inspired hockey and, you know, a, a lot of that is on the kids, but, uh, you know, it, it takes a leader, a coach that can, you know, really put that together and, and keep a solid lineup moving forward.
3:38
And I just remember thinking to myself, and I had no idea at the time that, you know, he was in turmoil, you know? Right. Because it really didn't come out until April.
3:47
Right, that's when it came out, but it's like he had been challenged several times, and I think it really came to a head at the team banquet. It was when it really kinda popped off was when- Yeah...
3:57
the parents really kinda went after him. But it was like, man, what a great thing he's got rolling. His first year as a head coach.
4:03
Um, you know, inherited a really good squad, but, you know, took them the distance, and Warroad was just, you know, a powerhouse. They recruit from all over the country, it seems.
4:12
But yeah, just a, I mean, 81% winning percentage, you know- Yeah... in high school sports, I mean, that's, that's amazing. Four losses on a season is, I mean, that's pretty incredible.
4:23
And the coach that was there prior to him, uh, was it Mark Parrish? Mark Parrish, yeah. Was there for three years and basically left under the same circumstances.
4:32
And he, yeah, he said that, like, I think he tweeted, like, "I, I could only t- I could only take three years," you know? This guy had only took one, you know?
4:39
And, and that guy played, you know, they both played hockey at a high level. Right. You know, they've been around the game at a high level, and it, that's, that says something when a guy or, or a person that's,
4:50
that played professional hockey like Parrish, you know, played for how many years and several different teams, and you think- Well, his Twitter, his comment to the Orono parents was, is, "Good luck trying to find, get, thinking you're gonna get another- Well, right...
5:02
NHL, ex-NHLer to come in here and coach your kids." And it's just crazy to me. Like, you know, you think about, like, any, if any other Joe Schmoe off the street comes in- [clears throat]...
5:10
and the expectations are that high, which I'll start with I think that's ridiculous, you know, for high school sports. I think we've really...
5:20
And this, the reason why we wanted to talk about this is it's not unique to hockey. No. I just think- And it's not uni- unique to Minnesota, either... no, and it's, it's parents living vicariously through themselves.
5:30
They, they typically want it more than the kid does because they have this chip on their shoulder and, uh, you know, they, a lot of these parents have just lost sight of what, you know, high school or even youth sports are supposed to be about, you know?
5:46
It, yeah, is it a stepping stone for some of your top echelon players? Sure. But it's also, like, you know, it's character-building, right?
5:53
You're- Well- You should be building these kids and prepping them for the real world, teaching them how to battle adversity and not fucking helicoptering them, you know? Well, and if you think about it, every, every-
6:05
I haven't head coached since... I mean, I've never been a head coach in high school. I don't want to be. Yeah. I've never wanted to be. I had- Not a chance...
6:12
I had an offer when, well, um, you know, I've, I've been around coaches that have been run out by parents or been run-ins. I mean, Grasso, my old head coach at Mayo that was there for 51 years- Yeah, forever...
6:25
he would not... And it's kind of like, it was in the article, you know, Don Lucia from the Gophers, he said, "You get two phone calls, or you get one phone call to me, we can talk.
6:37
I, I'll talk to you anytime you wanna talk about anything but hockey, but you get one phone call hockey. And in that phone call hockey, [laughs] in that hockey phone call- Mm-hmm...
6:45
I will remind you that the next time you call me about hockey I will cut your kid." Yeah. You know, as a- As a parent, talking to the parent, right? Yeah, yeah, talking to parents. Yeah. Yeah.
6:52
And so, and, and Grasso had somewhat the same philosophy, "I'm not gonna talk to you. I'll talk to your kid." Again, we're trying to teach these kids- How it should be... to be adults, and- Yep...
7:00
they need to take care of these problems on their s- on their own. And I can't imagine going to any of the head coaches that I've coached with or that my kids have played for
7:13
and having a conversation about ice time, about being a captain. This is, these are the things that almost was- Yeah... was catching crap about, these parents. "You didn't name our daughter captain. Her ice..."
7:26
This is one that bugs me the most, "Her ice time was diminished. She was injured. She comes back- She came back from injury... and she wasn't on the starting power play line. She was on the second one." Well, da.
7:35
You know what? I dug, and I dug a little deeper into that, 'cause, you know, the... I'm pretty sure I can figure out what kid it was. It's not hard to see when you go look at stats. Sure.
7:47
Um, but the power play kept right on rolling when she got hurt, and she was a good player. Well, and, and you s- But the power play kept rolling, and they kept winning. Right.
7:57
And it's like, as a coach, you know, you're thinking, "Wow, this is great," you know? Somebody filled in on this role, and we got multiple kids that know how to do it. Hell yeah, let's put her on the second unit.
8:07
And that just chapped that- Right, and now you've got-... that kid's parents... and looking at it from a coaching standpoint, now you've got two strong power play lines. Absolutely. Yeah. So that's, that's a plus.
8:15
It, and if the second one doesn't get out as much as the first one, you're working her back in. People don't understand that if... I don't know what her injury was, but let's say it took her off her skates for two weeks.
8:25
Mm-hmm. It takes you three weeks to get it back. Absolutely. I don't care what you're doing in the off- on the, off the, to keep yourself in shape- To get back to game speed...
8:34
to get, yeah, to get back to game speed, to get back on your feet, on your skates. And get your hands back- Yeah... get your lungs back. All that. Yeah, 100%. It, it all takes a long...
8:40
And it, and it, and unfortunately you could be off for three days, but it'll take you a week to get back. Yeah. The, the time off does not equate to the exact same amount of time to get back into it. Mm-hmm. Or less.
8:49
So I don't know what the injury was. I don't, I, uh, that, that was, that, of the, of the stuff I've heard.
8:55
Maybe I've heard the other stuff too damn much, you know, that my k- I, I, we had kids that they thought the only way they were gonna get into college, if they had that they were a captain. Yeah. That's crazy.
9:07
The, the idea of being a captain on a, on a, on any sport to me is absolutely ridiculous. Well, I take that back. The only one that it makes sense to me in is lacrosse, and you know why?
9:16
'Cause the lacrosse captain is the only person that can talk to the referees. Sure. So, and if you look at what a, what a captain is supposed to be
9:25
in hockey, again, the one that goes and talks to the referee, that's why you have three. You have one on each line, a captain and two assistants, and they go talk to the referee. Right.
9:34
Nobody else gets to say a word to the referee- Yeah... except for those guys. Well, that's completely thrown out the window. Everybody bitches at the referees. Yeah. So, um, that's not part of it, but I mean, there's...
9:43
People have lost sight. That, that's not a, that's not a badge of honor. That's a fricking job.
9:48
Yeah, and that's the, you know, that was the, that's the point I like to make is, you know, we go through this every year, you know, coaching girls' hockey, and I'm sure it's probably similar in boys, but it, it just becomes a,
10:00
it becomes a burden on everyone involved for the selection process. And then the kids that don't get named that, that think they should be captain, you know, then it, then it becomes a shot to their ego.
10:15
But I always tell my captains every single year that, "Be careful what you wish for, because now, like, you're, you're an extension of the coaching staff.
10:25
We hold you to a higher standard," which, and some kids can handle it. Most captains that you pick, usually they can.
10:32
But I remember a couple times in, like, bantams being a captain and being like, I wanted to fuck around in the locker room with the rest of the kids, but it was like I knew Coach was gonna come unglued on my ass because I'm, I'm a captain.
10:45
Right. And I can't do that. And I always, I always make that, that point, like, you have to be the leader, you know, both vocally, and you have to show it on the ice. You have to show it in practice.
10:58
You know, you can't, if you show up late, I mean, everybody on the team's gonna ride you for it. Well, we- You know?... you know, and hockey's become a year-round sport whether we like it or not. I mean- Sure...
11:11
just even our training. And so one of our captains has a job full-time, can't be there all the time. Well, and you really can't be captain. And we've run into that, too.
11:19
Yeah, ca- you know, jobs, you know, especially in the summer, kids, you know, I, I'm... It's, it's tough because I like the fact that the kids play other sports. You know, we've- Sure...
11:27
we've got a kid that's coming in that hasn't been to one of our practices yet, b- but that's fine because he's a th- three-sport athlete. Yeah.
11:33
He hasn't missed baseball, and because he's right there, he hasn't missed football. And those are, those are, those are, for me, those are valid excuses. Oh, without a doubt. Without a doubt.
11:41
I mean, that's, that's almost, the only thing you're gonna be is you're gonna be a little rusty on your skates when you first jump on the ice. But he finds time to fi- after- Sure...
11:49
you know, and, and they're, this is a high school sport, so there's a bit of crossover, you know? This isn't like playing where if you play Triple-A or AAU- Right...
11:58
where it's a, it's a lifetime sport and you're playing for that team, and- Mm-hmm... their seasons are six months long. Ours are a number of weeks long, and- You know, and it, you have that
12:07
Kind of to that point, in high school a lot of these kids don't think about it, but like when you go play for your summer leagues and your AAA leagues, the only people that give a shit about how well you do are your parents in the stands, and the coaches on the bench, and the kids on the team.
12:26
High school in Minnesota is different because, like, you got those kids, like, your, your fans, like, the city, you know, when, when you guys are on your run deep in sections.
12:38
You know, it was like they, they shared the, the, uh, numbers on that broadcast or on that You- Oh, yeah... that YouTube stream- It was... and it was like, it wasn't just male families. Oh, no. That was...
12:51
Everybody in Rochester's pulling. We had- And that's, that's the difference, you know? And I, I always try to explain that to these kids. And, uh, high school hockey in Minnesota is different.
13:03
It's, it's similar to football in Texas. It is different and they hold coaches to a higher standard, but also with that, that captain, you wearing that C,
13:13
I mean, now everybody knows you're a captain, and everybody in town knows you're a captain. And I mean, that's just, it's... You go to state,
13:21
everybody in that building, everybody in the state, everybody that's turning that TV on, they know who the captain is and they're looking for you f- holds you to that standard. Right.
13:30
So to go back to that parent, I, I don't know if we glazed over it or not, but one of the big bitches was that at the end of the year banquet that he didn't, or his kid, his daughter didn't get named captain. Right.
13:44
And that was one of his big gripes. And, and it, that just drives me insane. I mean- It's just ridiculous... I, I get, you know, we've had, no, not every year.
13:53
I mean, some years, some years we almost have to name them... We, we always let the kids vote. Yeah, 100%. You know? I'm, and that doesn't, and I don't like that to a point.
14:01
I mean, I do- Well, the coach, coaches still have the ultimate say, right? We have to have because, because I don't want some dipshit out there- Turns into a popularity contest. Yeah, and that makes it wrong.
14:11
And, and, and, and granted, he might, that kid s- that kid may not be the captain, but he, but because he's that popular, he's still gonna fill a role on the team- Yeah... as a leader of some sort.
14:22
And that's what the biggest thing that I always, like, I could, I would say to that dad or that parent is, "You know what? Just 'cause your kid didn't get selected as captain doesn't mean they can't lead."
14:35
You know, like your group this, like this last season, you had how many seniors? 14. I'd be willing to bet more than just your captains were probably in a leadership role. Right.
14:44
And, and, and, you know, and then me being old school, the other one, the other one that I really have a problem with, and we've done it the last two years now, and I don't like it, is our goaltender's always, there's always a captain of the goal- one of them's the goaltender.
14:55
Yes, they're the leader of the team, but by the letter of what that, that C or that A is supposed to, and the A is for the assistant captain. Yep.
15:04
But, but the letter that means to me is that they're the ones that go talk to referees. Well, goalies- You can't do that in a hockey game... you can't be a goalie and go talk to referees. Right.
15:10
You're stuck in your crease. So by definition a, a goalie can't be a captain or assistant. It's basically like an honorary captain. Right. You're, you're burning a spot. Yeah.
15:19
And that, and we've actually gave it an extra A out. Sure. And I don't think anybody's bitched about it, and that's what it comes down to. Yeah.
15:25
Because it, because then it comes to the off ice and the locker room- Right... and, and meals- And it-... and that stuff, and that's where they're important. It takes, it takes a group of those kids to do it, too.
15:34
Sure, yeah. You know what I mean? And it, and it really should be your senior class- Yep... leading the other ones up because these other kids come through, and sometimes [laughs] that's good and sometimes it's- Yeah...
15:42
really freaking bad.
15:43
[laughs] And you know, and the, the thing you always gotta remind yourself, and the thing that I would, I would always say to, you know, to these parents that are just, they're, they're trying to hammer Larry, is I mean, it's, it's high school,
15:57
and we're, we're, I mean, we're dealing with, with kids. You know what I mean?
16:02
And, like, the thing that really, really always bothers me in all of these situations and anytime there's, you know, and you, you do have it where you do have douchebag coaches, and we all know of probably a handful of coaches that maybe shouldn't be there, but
16:17
there's that always, uh, it seems like every g- whenever you have a good coach, there's always a handful or a couple parents that don't like that coach.
16:29
And what I would ul- like, what I would ultimately say if these parents could hear me is
16:37
when it comes out, and not if, it's when it comes out and they find out who these parents are, and by process of elimination you know all those, or know parents know exactly who it is.
16:46
And anybody that's played against them know who's, who it is. Right. So when that, when that comes out, of course the shame is gonna be on the parents. But just imagine what that kid's going through.
16:55
I was gonna say, but the kid is gonna take the brunt. I don't care what anybody says. Imagine what that kid is going through. And then you and I talk about it all the time, like,
17:03
and the whole bullshit about, like, he was also accused of not reaching out to college coaches. Like, get off your fucking pedestal.
17:12
If you play hockey in Minnesota, and for most of the part, most part, if you play hockey anywhere in this country and you're a good player, they know who you are. Oh, and, you know, so Tanner is 42. Mm-hmm.
17:25
When he was a peewee, so he'd have been what, 11 or 12? Yeah. He was already on a scouting service. Sure. And that was, and that was, okay, that was 31 years ago. Yeah. But- And, and now think what it's like now. Yeah.
17:36
And, you know, and, and, uh, I... That part, that, that's another part. I wanna go, let's go to that, then I gotta go back to a different thing- Yeah... and we're talking about coaching and on the bench. Yep.
17:44
Um, but so that part of it really bothers me too because, and, and maybe it should- it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but we're going through this battle right now with, um, our ca- our camera work.
18:00
There's Live Barn, there's Spideo. Um, we do our own YouTube. We, we have- Yep... we, our, all of our games are free on YouTube. Um, there's a couple other services.
18:10
Hudl has a service now too Yep So all these services, everybody wants, everybody wants a piece of the pie. Everybody's trying to make money off of this. So there's these cameras in the rinks, and you can watch the games.
18:20
Every one of those services, um, Hudl, Spideo for sure. Um, uh, and there's another guy that...
18:26
And I'm, I'm, I feel bad I'm, I'm, I'm not, don't remember, uh, P some- It's a, it's a guy who used to coach the USHL that started one Sure Where all he does is just the stats. Oh, sure.
18:36
But his stats are available to every- Yep... college in the United States. Mm-hmm. Any, any junior team. The, every coach that's, that's...
18:46
And obviously you have to be in a, a super, uh, uh, you have to be a, in the upper echelon of coaching to get on this.
18:54
If you're a viable coach in a league, you can, you can get on these services, and you can see every kid's stats. When, um, if you wanna go, if, if a coach were to contact me, I would say...
19:05
Well, let's say, let's say you're playing and you wanna go to, oh, let's go Gophers. Mm. I was gonna say North Dakota, and then I was gonna kick myself. [laughs] Yeah, I'd probably throw up. [laughs] Yeah.
19:14
So you wanna go to Gophers. And so you can take clips off of there and send yourself up there. If they show an interest, they can come back.
19:22
And, and I'll, and I'll tell you this on top of that all, no coaches want your highlight reels. No. You, the coaches say, "Can I have your games?" Exactly. And, and, and Hudl's- Mm...
19:31
set up in a way now that if he wants to just watch you play, we can, we can give him access to all of your games. Sure.
19:37
And Hudl and Spideo both have a thing set up that it will find your number, and he can just pump ty- type your number in, your player number in, and it will follow you, and all he gets is the clips of you playing- Yep...
19:48
if he wants to take it to that point. Yeah. But most- Do you know-... of those coaches, like with 14 seniors last year, I know there were scouts and, and coaches from other places that were just watching our video.
19:58
We, they were watching our, our live feeds. Oh, yeah. Yep. 'Cause it, well- Well, you could see it. You could go and look and see who was watching. Right. And a couple of games that I would watch, you know, I saw, um,
20:11
what's-his-nuts that worked with the 14s, Jackrabbit's scout guy. Oh, uh- Eric... um, Eric, um, Bromberg. Yeah, he- Yeah... I could see him on there. Yep. He's on there watching. Oh, he loved it.
20:23
You know, and, and I remember when w- two years ago when we were up at HP's, up at the festival, and we're sitting there, and I can't remember who we're...
20:33
Anyway, you know, Brad Frost walks up, and I'm like, "Hey, you know, it's, there's Brad Frost. He's the head coach, women's Gophers team."
20:40
And, uh, kind of sits down at the table adjacent to us, and I was like, "Hey, you, you hear, you here watching?" He's like, "Oh, he's gotta come take a look."
20:48
And, uh, he's talking to a group of guys and, and a couple gals, and they all had different hockey programs, college, uh, affiliation on their jackets. Sure.
21:00
And, uh, you know, a bunch of them walked away, and one of the gals was sitting there.
21:03
And I kind of walked over to the window and was watching what was going on on the ice, and she was like, you know, asked where we're from, and we just got to chatting.
21:11
And I said, "What, what do, you know, what do you do?" And she goes, "Well, I'm part of a college scouting network." Right.
21:19
And she was like, "I am a defensive specialist, and I, I go to hockey games all across the Midwest." She's like, "I try to stay home, close to home in Minnesota, but I come and I watch defensive players.
21:35
And yeah, we might be there to watch one kid, but then we'll take notes on, you know, everybody that's on the ice or anybody that's worth a look. And then we just kind of stash that."
21:46
And then those people work independently, but there's a ton of programs and colleges that use them or reach out to them- Well-...
21:53
and they're like- And, and the thing you have to understand is, I mean, you get it, but maybe not everybody does, is that they have restrictions too. Mm-hmm. The number of times they can come watch you play- Right...
22:03
and talk to you when you're within a window of your senior year is limited. Yeah. So they, they, if they're gonna come watch you play, they might go to a festival to watch you play- Yep, when they can watch a ton...
22:12
over the hol- holidays is a big time 'cause they're- Yeah... they're playing. And you can watch a bunch of guys because if they watch you more than once or twice... Hey, look what somebody else is in there. What?
22:21
The one next to it, next to it. What's that? Do you need one? [laughs] One... Yeah, I'll just take a regular beer for now. As we're, as we're talking in- for and coaching stuff, we're drinking beer anyway.
22:32
Um, but, uh, but they're limited to how many times they can- Right... come see you. That's why they go, "Oh, there's no scouts in the stands." Well, they can only come so many times.
22:41
Well, and that, and that's- And that, which is why the video is awesome and the free stuff because- The video's huge.
22:44
And, and I think, you know, the whole point of it is, is kinda getting back to my point, and we'll get off on tangents for a while, but getting back to my point is this kid, from what I understand, is a great player
23:01
and, you know, probably has a shot to play after high school. But you wonder, how much damage did Dad, did Mom and Dad do? Well- Because you think about how big that blows up, and now all of a sudden it's like
23:14
you know for a fact that there's a college coach that might be looking at her if she's that kind of player, and I don't know for sure that she is, but there might be a college coach that's looking at her going,
23:25
"Gah, do we want that headache?" Right. Well, I think- "Do we want this kid because of her parents?" And that's where, like, you deal with, you've dealt with these parents. We always do every year.
23:35
It seems like there's always a group of them. And that's one thing I wish they could hear is like, you have a chip on your shoulder. S- stop caring what you look like because that's ultimately really what it's about.
23:50
Well- They're worried about how their kid is treated and how their kid is seen by others because it's a reflection on them. But at the end of the day, they're f- they're fucking their kid over is what's happening.
24:03
Well, you and I, like- 'Cause I guarantee you there's college coaches out there that are not, they're not even gonna take a flyer on that kid because of crazy mom and dad.
24:11
You and I know a player Who played D1 college, and when they started recruiting this person, they are looking at, at that person. I'm trying to make this as vague as I possibly can. [laughs] It's not working real well.
24:24
Um, not only do they want her Twitter accounts, her Instagram, all that- Oh, everything... they wanted the parents. Yeah. Because here's the, here's the thing.
24:36
I was told this before, before all the social media shit came around, and we used to do a little bit of scouting when they do s- when, when colleges have to count on somebody else, like a s- I, I, like I was coaching goalies just at the time and, and one of the colleges out east would call me up and say, "Hey,
24:51
could you go watch this goalie play for me?" Now, I'm not picking a goalie for that team.
24:57
I'm giving my opinion on that goaltender, and they know that goaltender, or they know me, so they know what, when I give my opinion, what I'm talking about. That doesn't mean that I'm for or against that one.
25:07
I'm just giving them my opinion, and they can take it and go whichever way they want with it. That's all they're looking for, is my opinion on a, on a kid. Yep. That doesn't make or break that kid making that team.
25:15
Mm-hmm. It's just my opinion on it, and they go, "Oh, if M- Moffa thinks that way of that kid, we know what that means." You know, and that, that's fine. That's all they needed. But now with social media and stuff, they,
25:27
they- They can kind of build that picture on their own... they don't want to deal with parents. Um, 'cause here's what... Ah, crap. I wish I could remember which coach it was.
25:35
Said, and they told the kids, "For every, for as good as you are, there's another 50 kids- Oh, 100%.... within, within reason, there's another 50 kids as good as you are- 100%... and he's a better student." Yep.
25:47
They don't have to deal with the parents. You know what? You know what? We've had, we've had two kids that have lost chances to play juniors because of their parents. Sure. And that's juniors.
25:55
And that's, and that's kind of my point, is like- Right... you know, for on the girls' side, you know, they don't...
26:00
And I always make this point, and, and I, I wish like sometimes like I could just grab these parents and just shake them and just say,
26:08
"You know, boys, boys definitely have, you know, more opportunities to play after high school." And, like, girls, I,
26:17
I, I, I mean, being an assistant coach, you know, I- I'm not getting the emails and the phone calls when, when coaches call, but I'm sure you've been in the room or been on those phone calls or maybe a part of those email chains.
26:29
And they're not asking about how many goals they scored and how many assists they have or how many saves they made. No, not at all. They, they know all that shit. Right, yep. They wanna know, how's the family?
26:41
How's the kid off the ice? Yeah. What are their parents like? Are they a cancer? You know, and it's like,
26:48
it, the, they, these, these parents, they think they're doing the best for their kids by forcing these coaches out and treating everybody like shit, and they're just, they're just driving the wedge further- Yep...
26:58
away- And it's-... and making it harder for their kid... and, and it's really weird because don't forget, I was, I was helping out
27:06
with when girls f- ice hockey first started in Minnesota, I, I actually wound up helping out. Yeah. And at that time, well, God, we did have one girl that went D1 right away, didn't we? [laughs] Yep.
27:16
But, but it was like, every player, every goalie I coached, their mom and dad thought that that kid was gonna go D1. Sure. And you know what?
27:25
There was, you got good, there was a chance, 'cause there wasn't a lot of it out there. Yep. It was just coming into play. So that attitude, I thought was, it was, it, it was pestering to me.
27:35
It was always a, you know, it was always like, "God, God, here we go again." That being said, it was something there. It's never gone away. Yeah, never. A third line player- Mm-hmm...
27:44
on a 50/50 team, and their parents still think that that kid's gonna go D1. And that's the, and that's the thing, and it's like, you know, when you're coaching it, and like you, you deal with that kid.
27:55
You're with that kid every day, and they might, the, a lot of times, I would say, you know, 50% of the time, the kid is usually a good kid. You know, they're kinda clouded by Mom and Dad.
28:08
But what I've noticed, like probably 80% of the time, is Mom and Dad want it more than the kid does. I don't know- And that's on, that's my experience in girls. Well- You know? Like-... okay, yeah. I, I-
28:21
You know, like there's not these, like a couple of these kids- Cou-... and we have one that's on our team right now. Um, Dad is nuts. You probably know who I'm talking about.
28:31
[laughs] But, you know, he wants so much for her, and he, you know, wants her to play at the next level. And I remember we kinda got into a dark spot last year, and she was struggling, you know, mentally.
28:44
And I just went to her and I was like, "What do you want? What do you, what do you want?" She's like, "What do you mean?" "What do you want? Like what, what are your, what are your goals? What are you trying to do?
28:53
Are you trying to play at the next level?" She goes, "No." She's like, "I wanna go to college, yes, but I've never once envisioned myself playing college hockey. Maybe intramurals, um, or like beer league."
29:07
And I'm like, "You know what? That's okay." Yeah. But Dad- At least-... Dad on the other hand, was like, "Rawr, D1. My daughter, she's doing this. She's the best. She's going here." And she didn't want that.
29:19
[laughs] And you- And to tell him that was like- And, and I used to get ph-... he lost his mind... I used to get phone calls from him. Oh, yeah. He calls everybody.
29:27
Yeah, he, no, and it was like, "What do you think about this?" And- Call anybody that'll listen. Yeah. That's his thing. Yeah, and, and it's, and it's, um, it's, I don't know. It, that's, that's a...
29:37
But that goes back to the coaching part of it, so let's go back to, go back to that 'cause we're, I really did wanna keep this at a half hour. Yeah, I knew this wasn't gonna happen. Totally blew that.
29:44
Um- Coaching on the bench. Yeah, the coaching on the bench. So that one was interesting to me also because- So let's back up. So he was, he was- He-...
29:52
accused of, one of the gripes they, of the third gripe they had was that he wasn't doing enough in-game- Coaching... on-the-bench coaching. Or high-fiving them on a good play. High-fiving, patting on the back- Yeah...
30:06
and blah, blah, blah, which is like- And I've heard a couple of the r-... fuck you... and while I heard a couple of the radio stations, uh, I don't remember which one it was, and there was a really good explanation.
30:13
They go, "No, it's- It's hard to do. First of all, it's hard, think, it's really hard to coach a kid when they come to the bench, 'cause the mistake might have been made at the, at the beginning of the shift. Oh, 100%.
30:23
So when they come to the bench and they sit down there, and you go to talk to them about, if you talk to them about it, they don't have a clue what you're talking about half the time.
30:29
Well, and you gotta, and you gotta think about how fast the game is. Right.
30:33
And, you know, yeah, that first shift, they turn the puck over, and luckily it didn't score, but the coach is pissed about it, and they play a, you know, another minute-long shift.
30:43
They're out there for a while, and yeah, they come off the ice. And you're like, "You remember when you first got out there and you did this?" And they're like- "No"... "No." Yeah. 'Cause they've had- I don't...
30:52
they've had 10 other situations exactly- Right... almost exactly the same, right? So- And I agree, like wholeheartedly, like
30:58
there are moments where you can maybe grab a kid and say, "Hey, you know, next time high off the glass," and just quick reminders of things that you talk about in practice or things that are built into your system.
31:11
You can shoot those little reminders. Like, "Hey, why are we trying to go cross ice here? You know, but let's keep it north and south." Like simple things. Right.
31:18
But you can't grab a kid and get the grease board out and just completely break down a system in the middle of the game. And you- No... you can't do that, and you can't always run to everybody and high-five and grab ass.
31:31
It's just, you can't, especially as the head coach. Right. Well, it, it- That's what practice is for...
31:36
and I think there's, I think there's two philosophies, may- there's more than two philosophies of coaching on the bench, but the two bigger ones is there's, there, there are coaches that are, like, constantly coaching.
31:46
Sure. You know, they're, they're, again, like you say, you know, "Remember what we're doing, this is our four check. Let's, maybe we should change the four check" type of thing. Right. But a lot of them,
31:55
"Well, we did all of our preparation, so now let's just, you guys go play the game." Mm-hmm. And he's not, it's not that he's not engaged in the game, he's making notes. He's making a practice plan. He's, he, exactly.
32:06
[laughs] He's getting practice plan.
32:07
You know, uh, how many times have you come off the ice, uh, aft- even if after a win, and the first thing you guys do when we're standing in the halls, when we start figuring out practice for the next day and what we need to work on?
32:17
Absolutely. And that, all that information came from- Right... what the kids were doing, and we need to change that bad habit or, or add to the g- you know, give them accolades for the good, or the good things- Right...
32:29
that they did correctly that we've been working on. Yeah. But that happens at practice the next day or- Yep... two days later, whenever. And, and it's, it, the coaching on the bench...
32:41
Um, I, there, I'm just trying to- I always, I always ask the question- Well, here's the one that, there, there was, here's the one that was really funny to me was,
32:47
um, and this happened to me a lot, it probably happens to you. You're sitting in the stands watching a game, and the parents will come sit next to you.
32:55
I, by the end of my Casey season, Casey s- season at Mayo, we were one of the crappier teams around at the time. We were really, really in the dumps. And, um, we struggled to get to.500.
33:05
And I was listening to that, so his sophomore year on JV, it was no big deal. Junior year, he's on varsity, and parents are like, "Why is he doing this? Why?" I'm like, "I'm not on the bench. I don't know."
33:16
So we moved down the bench, down the bleachers. I was sitting right next to the Zamboni door. Next thing you know, you're in the parking lot. [laughs] No. Our senior year, we sat on the visitor's side. Yeah.
33:25
That's- And, and then all of a sudden, here comes a couple more parents, because they, they started realizing the same thing. It's like they're second-guessing. You have no idea, two things.
33:34
You don't know what the coach said because you're sitting in the stands and he's across the way. Yeah. Second thing is, is your kid is gonna tell you what you wanna hear- 100%... not what the coach said.
33:43
So you're never, as a parent, and maybe the kid just can't communicate with adults that well- Mm-hmm... so the, your kid is never going to get word for word and how that coach intended whatever he told that player. Yeah.
33:54
So that battle is ridiculous. It is. It alway- it always sucks 'cause, like, a kid may not agree with what a coach did. Like, "All right, you made the same mistake four times. You're done.
34:08
Go sit down at the end of the bench. Shame. You're gonna think about it. And then at,
34:13
in between periods, at the end of the game, at practice tomorrow, we're gonna talk about it and we're gonna address it, but for now you're done."
34:19
You know, when, when you have to bench a kid or, you know, sit him a couple shifts or- Well, or if it-... but then you may sit that kid down and give them that perfect ex- explanation.
34:32
And you- Like, "We talked about this. This is the job. You didn't do your job. Everybody else in that position is doing the job on the other line. You didn't do it. This is why you're sitting."
34:42
And now that kid is either embarrassed, got egg on their face, and now they may be telling their, their parents, like, "Oh, he just doesn't like me."
34:50
Well, and, and sometimes the case is, is even worse than that, is, is because y- you're running a, a system, and because you're, th- that player's out doing what they want to on their own, the system doesn't work at all for everybody.
35:03
Right. And, and all of a sudden you're the one that ha- you're the one that has to be unplugged to make the system work. Sure.
35:09
You know, and, and, and, and I've, I stood there and watched kids m- many times, uh, get talked to by the head coach going, you know, and you're standing, and we usually have two coaches when we talk to the kids, and it's like, "But, but
35:23
what did we tell you that your goal was for this game? Get, breaking it down to something simple, this is what you need to do for this game." Yeah.
35:29
And then when they don't do it, and they go do their own thing, and they disrupt the, the flow of the game, and it's costing us scoring chances to catch up to the game or whatever, "No, you're not gonna get on the ice."
35:41
Yeah. You know, reminding these parents and kids that we're not playing them equally. We'd, we would love to.
35:46
Uh, the easiest thing in the world to do to coach would be to put a kid out there and then hit a buzzer and then put the next line out there, you know, and they just- And they all do the exact same thing...
35:54
and they all do the exact same thing- Yeah... and you have no problems if somebody gets hurt. And that's- You plug another kid in there. Right. But that's not reality.
35:58
And that's, you know, and that's the one thing that I think that I see, you know, being a coach, and I keep, I always tell, you know, anybody that I, I, I coach with, I play with, my kids, is, you know, "Here's the deal.
36:14
You have a job to do when you're out there." And this is similar to, goes back to my original point.
36:20
You know, high school sports or high school athletics, uh, or sports in general, like, it- there's more to it than just the game, you know? Like, whether you believe it or not, when you're coaching high school,
36:34
you, if you care about your job and you care about the kids, you ultimately have a responsibility to help mold these kids for life. Because what was that other stat? Like.5, 6% of
36:51
kids that are playing make Division I, or just, like, 1% make Division I and.5 make the professional league- Right... when you're looking at boys. Or even women, I guess girls, you could look at that, too.
37:02
So realistically, most of these kids, sure, they might go on to college and play some hockey or they might go play juniors, and that's great.
37:10
But realistically, a lot of these kids, you know, they're, they're moving on to the next step of their life. And one of the big things I, I took from this whole thing is
37:22
parents need to give their kids the tools to deal with adversity. Like, my dad always used to tell me, like, "I'm not your fucking coach. If you have a question, you need to bring it to your coach." Sure.
37:36
We've always told our kids that, yeah. And it's like, you, we always tell the kids on the team, "Come talk to us," right?
37:40
And I, I remember a couple times I had coaches that I didn't like, and, uh, you know, Jim Thompson. I hate to name names- [laughs]... but he was one of them, you know? Yep.
37:48
I, he, we just never saw eye to eye and I didn't like him, and now we get along really well, and I'll tell him to this day to his face, like- [laughs]... "I hated you as a coach, but I learned a lot from you."
37:57
And the reason I did learn a lot from him is because, you know, m- my dad at the same time was like, "Be a man." You know? This was in Banams.
38:07
You know, he's telling me to be a man at 13, but he was like, "You don't like how much you're playing? You need to go talk to him. Ask him why." You know what I mean?
38:15
And he, and, and lo and behold, it was all the shit that we talked about in practice that I wasn't listening to because I was a teenager. But it was, my dad helped me g- He gave me the tools to battle through adversity.
38:28
Guess what? Now he sees that in you. He's seen where you are, and now you're, you've moved down in the lineup. You're gonna have to work even harder to get back up there. Right. You know?
38:38
And it was like, I went out there and I scored a goal, and it was like, "All right. I should be moved back up," and I didn't get moved back up. My dad was like,
38:44
"You fucked up for four games, and you go out there and have one good shift?" [laughs] Like, you need to... You know, you... The, it, it taught me something, and I don't know that enough parents do that anymore.
38:55
They would rather, "Oh, you, you pulled my kid out of the lineup? I need to, we need to have a conversation." That's not how it works. Well- You need to teach your kids how to deal with that shit. If, if the...
39:04
You know, we, we've had, we've had conversations with parents about a ton of different topics- Yeah... with dealing with their kids. And, and I'll, I'll tell you last year was probably the most difficult years- Yeah...
39:14
of coaching I've ever had in my life, and it had nothing to do with the game of hockey. It was everything else, and it was- All the bullshit. No, it wasn't even the bullshit. It was just...
39:24
Well, I'm, I'm not gonna get into it, but it was- Yeah... it was hard. It was hard. I know what you went through. It's not my job. It's not fun. I w- it wasn't what I was trained to do. Let's put it that way.
39:31
And if you know me- Yeah... that's like... And that's the- [laughs]...
39:35
that's the worst part is, like, we coach because we love the game, and yeah, hockey's huge in Minnesota, but there's not a coach in Minnesota that's able to survive in high school off their coaching salary.
39:47
Well, uh- It's just the way that it fucking is... this, I wasn't gonna bring this up, but now that you brought that up, uh, you know, so our- We do it because we enjoy it...
39:53
our wages are shit, and don't forget, you get paid for head coach, assistant JV, or assistant varsity coach, and JV coach. That's it. That's... Yeah...
40:01
everybody else, if you have five people on your staff, they're not getting paid. Yeah. Only three get paid. Well, we c- we broke ours up, but I mean, the...
40:09
So you're taking nothing and dividing nothing between two people. Yeah. But, so- I went to volunteer status so Cora and Nicky- Right... could make more.
40:16
Yeah, and I, and I, and I took, when, when Matt was coaching with me at JV, and he actually had more time, he spent more time at varsity than he ever did at JV, I split mine with him. Yeah.
40:25
Which means- And I don't- What'd you think? You don't do it for the fucking money. No. God, no. I mean, you know how many years I coached but didn't get paid? You do it because you enjoy the kids- Yeah...
40:32
and you enjoy the game. And I, and I do think that. And we, and we bitch about the kids because, well, that's, that, they're teenagers. [laughs] But at the end of the day, you don't keep coming back because of the- No...
40:43
the, the $1,500 that you make- The-... or whatever the fuck it is. The, uh, the, uh... As a matter of fact, it, it was, when I was looking at the wages, some, they were talking...
40:52
On some of the radio stations, they've been talking about the wages those guys get. Oh, one's kicking 70, 8- Yeah... 8, $8,000. And some of the boosters get, give more money. Yeah. I get that.
40:59
But, but even so, it's like- But still... it's like- You ain't making a living doing it... my first check at $1,900 shocked the shit out of me. That was the first time I'd ever got paid.
41:06
I ran, I ran goalie camps for youth hockey for 15 years before I got a paycheck out of that. Yeah. And that was, that was every Sunday for the entire hockey season, I never got paid.
41:17
I, I didn't get paid for coaching youth hockey at all 'cause I had a kid on the team. Right. And we ne- and we never got paid. And, and that's... I don't mind that, but the wages that, like... Okay.
41:27
So way back when, when Tanner was playing and there was only... And John Marshall was looking for a new head coach. The guy that had retired, that had quit, I don't know if he retired or quit, I think he quit,
41:38
um, took a job someplace else. The new coach coming in, they were looking, and the parents got together. This could, this could've been the advent of this kind of parents, but this is how long ago this was.
41:47
Remember, this kid's 42 now, and this was- [laughs]... and this was back when he would've been probably- What's wrong with being that age-... 17... Ron? [laughs] I'd like to remember what it was like then.
41:56
[laughs] But those parents gave the AD a list of their expectations for the new high school coach at John Marshall, and that, those expectations at that time said, "It's gonna cost you about $80,000." They make five.
42:15
[laughs] Right. How do you think that's gonna work? And that's like, you know, the, the- And so you're getting ex-NHL guys to go coach your hockey team. You don't, they're not doing it for the money. No.
42:24
And yet the thing that really, like my last point, you know, if we wanna wrap on this part, is like that the quote that he sent in that email, the parent sent to Larry, and it was like, "You just don't have it."
42:40
[laughs] It's beautiful. "I'm sorry for the harsh words, and I hope you can learn from this and move on." I'm paraphrasing, but 24 and 4, 81% winning percentage his first year in, you just don't have it.
42:55
Like, how fucking arrogant- Well-... can you be? And don't- And like, how many cup rings do you have, sir? How many state titles have you won?
43:01
Well, and then- But as soon as that job position opened, you think that guy applied for it? I guarantee he didn't apply for it. No, the, those parents wanted him there.
43:11
They begged him- Yeah, they pushed for him to be there... they pushed him, "Take the job," you know? And then, then they chase him out. It, b- And then when he, he sends the email where he's jokingly like- Yeah...
43:20
"All right, well, if you think you can do it, sign up and I'll let you take it," a- and they took that as his resignation, then they're like, "Okay, well, it's a legal binding resignation. You're out."
43:31
And then they shamed him for quitting on the girls- Yeah... after they called- Yeah... for his head. That doesn't tell you- Like, who are these fucking people? It's, you know...
43:38
And I, and I'll be honest with you, if you've ever watched me at the rink, I don't talk to the parents. No, it's something that I'm learning. Yeah, I, I, I learned that a long time ago. I duck out the back door.
43:47
Oh, I, don't, I'll walk up- Yeah... I have to walk up and down, go get the girls set up for doing video- Yeah... and stuff, and they're in the...
43:52
And they, I may wave and say hi to them, but that's as, that's as far as it goes. I don't- Don't stop and talk. No, I, I- Right... I don't go out. And it's not 'cause I wanna be a dick, it's just-
44:01
You know where it's gonna go... you know where it's gonna go. Yeah. It, it, and it's not- And it's inappropriate. Well, it is. And, and, and, and it's, and it's...
44:09
I think, I think for these younger coaches it's even harder because, um, some of these parents are their friends. That's where I'm struggling. Yeah, and I- 'Cause my, you know, having a, a kid on the team- Right.
44:23
Right, and y-... uh, and our, our kids- Coming up through your-... are the same age. Right, yeah. So they're, they're all people that I know. Yep. And for my group, I know you kinda had similar struggles,
44:34
98% of my parent group is good, but that 2% is like, it's borderline unbearable. And I've told people before, and, and maybe I shouldn't say it on here, that it's like I coached this team before my kid was there, so
44:53
it's not, it's not like that, you know? It's like e- people look at a parent coach and they're like, "Oh, you're, you're favoring your daughter." Hey, we had that happen to us this fall- Yeah... or this, this spring.
45:03
Exactly. Yeah. You know? And I'm like, I, I, I feel for that, but I'm like, I was there before her, and I, I, before she got there I told her, I'm like, "This is my team."
45:13
And when we, when we put the pads on and we put the skates on, I'm Coach, I'm not Dad. But at the same time, like, if she weren't there, last year probably would've been my last year. Sure.
45:27
And I hate that because the, I love these kids on the team, I really do. And even the ones that have, you know, shitty parents, the, the problem parents, I, I actually really enjoy w- their kids. I do.
45:40
I had a set of twins when I first went back to coach JV at Mayo, and [laughs] they, they were, they were okay hockey players. They weren't good by any means, you know, they...
45:51
But they were, the, was it the first year back with them, maybe? Um, the one was, for lack of better terms, Eddie Haskell.
46:01
[laughs] Most people know who that is, but if you ever watch Leave It to Beaver- Leave It to Beaver... he, he was Eddie Haskell. [laughs] And he's on the bench.
46:09
B- b- in be- in between the first and second period they don't do the ice, we just stand on the ice and talk. We get like a three-minute break, right? Yep. And so he's over there and he's got his helmet off.
46:18
And I go, "Put your helmet on." And he just kinda gives me a dirty look and starts dinking around.
46:23
And, and I'd about ha- We'd had a rough week together, the two of us anyway, and I just took off and g- and I go, "If you don't put your helmet on, get off the ice."
46:31
He looked at me, I said, "Get off the ice," so I sent him to the locker room. So Daddy goes down in the locker room and starts having an absolute shit fit, chewing out the varsity coaches.
46:41
They don't, they don't know what's going on. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm on the JV bench by myself, you know, and, and- Well, that just ruffles up even more shit...
46:48
and it, so then, so then between the second and third period I have to go down to the locker room, and now I'm met by the AD, the head coach, and the assistant coach, who was my second head coach later.
46:55
[laughs] What the fuck? And they're like, "Why did you do that?" And I'm like, "I told him to put his helmet on and he wouldn't do it." "So what did you do?" I said, "Told him to get off the ice." Which is also a rule.
47:02
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can't be on the ice. He, and he wouldn't listen to me, and you guys were pushing it at the time. B- um, referees were pushing it at the time to make sure the helmets- Yeah...
47:09
never come off or anything. And they let us get away with a lot of shit. Yeah. And so I'm like, I'm like, "So go, what are you gonna do?" And I go, "Well, what do you mean what am I gonna do?"
47:18
"Well, you kicked him off the team." I said, "No." No. "I sent him to the locker room." Yeah, maybe. His dad said he got kicked off the team.
47:25
How the fuck would his dad know that when the kid went to the locker room and Dad hadn't talked to him? You know, and we had a similar situation where we had a player that,
47:33
you know, she plays just on the edge, and I, I really appreciate about her, and a lotta people just, they can't see past it. She plays on the edge, and she's just fiery. It's the shit that you can't coach.
47:46
You can't coach that will into a kid. But she's young, and she struggles to, to toe the line, and every once in a while she goes over the line and she kinda loses it. She, her wires cross, she loses it.
48:00
And, uh, there was one time where we were talking to her, and she's freaking out and talking back, and she's throwing shit around, and there's like three minutes left in the first period.
48:12
She freaks out, takes a bench minor for yelling at the ref, and I think there's like a buck 30 left. So I'm like, "Don't even go to the penalty box. Go to the locker room."
48:21
[laughs] Like, "I don't even wanna, we don't wanna look at you. Just get off the ice." So she goes to the locker room, and Mom and Dad lose it.
48:31
"You kicked her out," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, this and that and the other thing, and we're like, "What? No. She's gonna come back and serve the last 24 seconds of her penalty, you know- Yep...
48:44
in the box, and she's gonna come back, and she has two periods in this game left where she needs to prove that she can be a functioning member of this team, but she's gonna do that the first, the, the next period, probably half of the period, she's gonna do it from the bench because she lost her opportunity to play."
49:02
She's not kicked off the team. No. It's punishment. It, it's punishment, but- You know? It's like, don't be a douche... we can't hit them anymore. [laughs] You know, it's like everybody just lost their mind.
49:13
They're like, "Oh, Coach kicked her off. She kicked her off the team," and it's like- Yeah, it- No. Again, go- She went to the locker room 'cause she needed to cool down... it's this thing. See, the- And it worked...
49:21
here's- She came back. She sat... you're sitting on the other sen- i- side of the ice. You're not on the bench.
49:26
You can't hear a word that's being said on the bench, and then you're making assumptions, and it's just- Yeah... like, good God.
49:31
Yeah, and but to finish that story, so that whole thing went on, and then the next year when they came back as seniors, one got cut and one decided to stay, and he did okay.
49:39
And then when they came back from college, up until we couldn't have 'em on the, on, on the ice all the time, they would come back and help me coach. They, they never had a problem with what happened. Right.
49:48
I mean, at the moment, heated moment- That's usually how it goes... that's what... Yeah. Well, yeah. And then, you know what? I know, I know there are kids,
49:55
this whole thing that's going on with Olem happened to Mayo's longtime head coach, Loren Grasso. Right.
50:01
And I, I, to this day, I will guarantee you that there are still parents, there's a few players, but think of how many guys that guy coached in 50 years- Oh, tons... and I will guarantee you- Hundreds...
50:11
80% of those kids that had relegated to the third line, never got on the power play, thought they belonged there, whatever, once they graduated and became adults, they ex- they understand, and they- Got it...
50:24
don't hold, they don't hold a grudge. There's still some parents that do. Don't get me wrong. Oh, yeah. But, but I would say the majority of the people. That's, that's why he was there for so long. Yeah.
50:33
And- I mean, I still talk to people this day that was like, they played hockey at Mayo for three years or four years, and it was like, "How'd you like Grasso?" 'Cause he was there forever. Yeah.
50:42
And they're like, "You know, when I was there, I didn't really understand him, but now that I'm an adult- Right. Exactly... or," and even if they're even r- involved in hockey or not, they're like, "I get it."
50:52
Yeah, he, he did what he was supposed to do as a coach- Yeah... right? And it, and, and it's not always- Yeah... bunnies and whatever they call it. Rainbows and butterflies. Yeah, there you go.
51:01
[laughs] So unicorns and something else. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't, I, I will say this. I, maybe we can end on this, and you can kinda put your two cents on it, too, but I'm like, I always think about it, and
51:18
I think parents just need to slow down, allow their kids to fail, especially when it comes to sports. It's not the end of the fucking world. Allow them to fail. Allow them to come up short,
51:31
and then teach them how to work through it, you know? Like, my dad looking me in the eyes and being like, "I ain't on that fucking team." Right. "That's on you." Right, right.
51:40
Like, that's- It- You made a commitment to this team to play. Figure out what's- Well-... figure out what's ailing your coach. I guarantee he's probably telling you.
51:49
You're just not listening, which he was, and it was just shit that I would, didn't wanna hear. But allow your kids to fail, and then give them the tools to work through that because guess what?
52:01
You're gonna have coaches you don't like. You're gonna have teachers you don't like. You're gonna have professors in college you don't like. You might have a boss someday- [laughs] When-...
52:10
in your dream job that you don't like. Yes. But guess what? You're gonna have to fucking figure it out.
52:14
So part of your learning, part of your learning experiences is to learn, if you're gonna go on from, to, from another sport, from this team to another team, you wanna continue on the sport or wherever you wanna go, you're gonna go to, you're not gonna pick the program you're gonna want.
52:27
A program is going to pick you. Yep. And you are going to have to adhere to that program, or you- 100%... or, or, or high school, you're, we, we're stuck with you. Yeah.
52:36
Because m- m- because we just don't have the numbers in certain cases. Yep. Like, the coaches that, that
52:42
just won a state championship, one coach left and the other one got let go, and they just won the state championship. The Wisconsin coaches? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and it's, and it's basically the same thing.
52:53
So it's like our job along with trying to win hockey games and make you a better hockey player is just to make you a better person. Yeah. And I've heard my head coach say that, I'll bet he says it
53:06
three times a week, if not more. Easily. I m- I mean, I mean, it, it's like our job is to make you a better person. Yeah. Not a better person, a person that can survive- A functioning member of society.
53:16
Yeah, there you go, which none of us were able to do. [laughs] Give your, give your kids the tools, and I know there's a lot of... Listen, I'm, I'm not, I mean, I'm not gonna coach at the next level.
53:27
You aren't gonna see me on a college or a junior bench coaching, and I don't want that. But one of the, one of the things that I really enjoy is just getting to know these kids and helping them,
53:40
and I mean, you've done it, too, where you find yourself in a situation where this kid's like, "Hey, my life's falling apart at the seams," and it's not, has nothing to do with hockey. Right. Right.
53:50
And next thing you know, you're, you're, you're talking this kid through what he thinks or she thinks is the end of the world, and it's just another high school drama thing. Yeah.
53:59
And you're, you're helping them through it, and that's part of it. But you know, parents should just give your kids the tools to battle adversity, and that will help in life. It'll help on the ice.
54:10
It'll help in anything that they do. Shit blows up in your face 'cause guess what?
54:14
Shit's gonna blow up in your face several times for the rest of your life, and if you just shut down and wait for Mommy and Daddy to come in and fix it for you, or if you're the parent and you see shit starting to go wrong with, for your kid-
54:30
Let it go wrong and help them through it. Guide them through it, right? Right. That's what we, that's what we do as coaches- Well, and this-...
54:36
is, "Hey, you made a mistake" And you know the other part about this is- "Here's how you fix it" I know, as, as we're sitting here talking about this, it just dawned on me, neither of us are school teachers. No.
54:45
You know? And that, and that, m- maybe when all these teams are coached by school teachers, they had a better handle on things. Yeah. 'Cause they're kinda trained to do that in the first place. 100%.
54:55
I, I, I think about, I think about- You couldn't be a school teacher, though. Me? Yeah. You can't hit kids. Oh, God, damn, I forgot about that. [laughs] I got hit by one of my teachers. Yeah, that was back in the 1900s.
55:05
[laughs] It, it was just an eraser. It's not a big deal. It happened all the time. [laughs] No, I, I, I, I, it's... I agree.
55:15
I, and, and we gotta, we gotta cut this off 'cause we- We could talk for hours about this We could. I mean, this, I mean, I, I, I'm not sure this is over with. I, I, I hesitated bringing in any head coaches or
55:30
guys that I know that... We've, we've discussed having this conversation way before this whole thing came up.
55:35
And maybe we should with other coaches and see what their thoughts are, like- I don't know if they- I guess I ask que- the questions I have are, as coaches, are we alone in this?
55:45
Is there, is there room for administrators or ADs to help? Oh, no. To maybe put a parent in their place? I know a lot of them- They-... don't wanna touch it... let's put it this way.
55:55
I- the experience that I've had with just my high school, our high school, the ones we coach at, they have tried. They do this- Oh, yeah... all the time. Yeah, they're dealing with it- I mean, it's constant...
56:05
way more than we are... yeah, and, and, and I think they're very good at it. There's a bit of their hands are tied on certain things. And they pick their battles. No, not even pick their battles.
56:12
They have, they have so many rules that they have to follow. Right. That- Is the grape worth the squeeze? Y- right, exactly. Yeah. And so, and so they, you know, and it's, it's...
56:22
and then I've dealt with some of that stuff this last year, and it was like, it's that you can only do so much. I mean, you're- Yeah... and it's, it's not, it's not like they don't wanna go farther.
56:32
Actually, I don't wanna say go farther. They don't wanna do things differently. This is how they have to do it. This is their protocol, and that's what they have to stay with. Right.
56:39
And it's, and it's probably keeping them sane just doing it that way. And they can't get away with- No...
56:44
some of the shit that we did- Which is, which is kinda why I didn't wanna bring those guys in, because, A, I, right now, if I was a head coach, I wouldn't do this. Because you know what?
56:51
I would be afraid of losing my job. 100%. It just becomes, you know, and I don't think we've said anything incriminating. We're not, we're not uncovering any, like, breaking news here. It's just- No... you know.
57:03
I, I, I'll ask you a question, is if you could look at a young parent of an athlete that's up and coming, what advice would you give them? So assuming that their kid is gonna move on and place their...
57:21
and th- their parents don't coach them. Well, so I just had this conversation. I mean, literally, I just had this conversation two months ago with a parent, or the, well, with one parent. The, the other one was,
57:32
I think she was not willing to have that conversation. She just didn't want any part of it. N- not that she wasn't- Sure... concerned about her kids, but she didn't want any part of it.
57:40
And I had the conversation with them, and, and I, my, I do the same thing with them all the time. I, my, what I do is I just kinda try to explain to them as generically as I can how the system works, you know?
57:54
And then- That's fair... and then you and your kid have to make the decisions of where you wanna go, right?
58:00
And sh- and I, and I, and I will tell you, and I, and it, and it was in that, that article that, that Alex posted when this whole thing started with one of our referee friends that posted it, and I said it then.
58:10
And one of the bigger problems is, is right now there's too many people getting paid in this sport.
58:14
Any, any guy with a wee bit of knowledge of, of the sport and some, and [laughs] and I called it, um, a name-dropping sales pitch- Yeah... can talk you into- Yeah...
58:25
can talk you into giving them six, seven grand to have your kid come play hockey there, or more. 'Cause once, once they get to six, seven grand and you're stuck in there, it becomes a lot more.
58:34
And a, a guy that's came out of college and played at a D3 school, and all of a sudden now he thinks he's a hockey coach, and he winds up with some... And the, and don't get me wrong, USHL's very good.
58:45
There's really good... NA's really good, but there's other, there's other junior programs out there, or AAU, or AAA programs that are nothing more than money makers. Yeah.
58:56
And, and those guys are making money and getting paid for- I, I kinda will give some of those parents, like, that chase that, you know, I'll give them a little grace there because it's like
59:08
you just paid a bunch of money to put your kid in that program, and now you've got just a coach that's just collecting a check. I get that. Sure, but- That, that m- it doesn't happen in high school hockey in Minnesota.
59:20
Well, and, and so from- In the high school league, it can't happen... well, going back to what you were talking about, so then anyway, if a parent comes up to me and asks me- Mm-hmm... what we're gonna...
59:29
I'm, I would, I, I would just basically put it that way. There's a system in place that's as inexpensive as it can possibly be, that your kid gets looked at,
59:40
and he gets to play hockey, whether it's in Rochester's Association or a different one, you know, moving your kid from association, moving whatever, and they go to high school, there's a system there.
59:49
There are other systems that you need to talk to somebody about before you jump in there- Yeah... whether it's AAA or AAU or, I don't even know if AAU does hockey anymore, but they did. Mm-hmm.
1:00:00
Um, or if it's just some fly-by-night junior league, whatever.
1:00:03
I mean, before you step into that stuff, you know, if my kid said, when he graduated high school, if any of my kids wanted to say they, they just wanna play hockey two more years,
1:00:13
and I'm like, "Okay, it's gonna cost you probably, with all your players, probably four grand," let's say. And if I got four grand, I would do it just so they can keep playing hockey. Right.
1:00:22
I mean, there's this, don't get me wrong, there's a structure there- Yeah... that some kids thrive by. Like, Tanner misses the camaraderie of being on a hockey team. Oh, sure.
1:00:34
You know, after all those years of doing that, and, and, and, and he misses that. He admits it. He misses that. So
1:00:41
as a parent, if you can avoid the politics, let your kid play hockey, let the coaches decide where he should play, understand that the system's not going to fail your kid because there's somebody else out there that's going to see him- And let your kid be a kid...
1:00:55
and let your kid be a kid. You know, if he's, you know, almost like we tell, used to tell the goalie parents, "You want, my kid wants to be a goalie. What do I do?" Put him in a goalie camp.
1:01:05
If he has fun at the goalie camp, you're screwed. Your kid's a goaltender. [laughs] You know? And this is basically the same thing. Put your kid wherever you wanna put him. Yep.
1:01:12
If he stays, if he sticks it out, then guess what? Your kid's a hockey player. Yeah. And that's all there is to it. And he'll go as far as he can, as best as he can. Yeah.
1:01:20
And most of that is on his or her shoulders- Yeah... not on yours as a parent. And right, 100%. And I, I, you can't want it more than your kid. No. You can, you can help them continue with their dream- Mm-hmm...
1:01:32
but you can't make them have that dream. Yep. But all right, let's get out of here. That's a good place to end. We'll do this again another time maybe. Love you. Bye. [laughs] All right, see ya.
1:01:43
[rock music]
New episodes, straight to your inbox.
Subscribe
