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Full Spectrum Cycling
Chewey’s Salon Chair #37 – Decorah Ugly Fat Santa Ride Sh!t Show
Dec 29, 2023
Chewey’s Salon Chair #37 – Decorah Ugly Fat Santa Ride Sh!t Show
15
30
00:00
1:10:09
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Transcript
0:00
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. [rock music] There you go, guys. [laughs] Fucking nice. [rock music] Amazing. I'll never understand- Oh...
0:16
why that fucking thing is green- You're so green... when it's not recording. No, this is- Just saying. Uh, the- Backside. This is the new setup, the new- It's coming through the back end. [laughs] Yeah, I know it. Hey.
0:28
I just need to know. Hey. I said backside- Shut it... not back end. Stop it. That's a fair question. Uh, this is- There could be an intervention... Chewy's lawn chair number 37. 37? Uh, we have, with us we have Sven.
0:42
Hey. Spinner. [laughs] Twinkle Tits. What's your Mark? Uh, whatever fucking Mark wants, comes up. What's your Mark? Uh... What are you calling yourself tonight? I'm not calling myself anything tonight. Okay. All right.
0:56
And then, and, and- And the master of ceremonies. Yeah. The, the guy that's trying to- Run Twitch motherf- Da, da, da, da, da. The guy that's trying to film it and it's not working. So here we are. Oh, yeah.
1:06
Here's the- Here's something I wanted to know. What do you have to know? If we fucking hit the table- Yeah... does it come through the microphone? Yeah, you can hear it. Roger that... the buzz. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:13
This is something- Roger that... this is, this is something we talked about earlier today. Greg did a good job about, like [mic thuds] it's like [mic thuds] put your fucking beer can down. Oh, yeah.
1:22
Hey, did we do a shank? Nobody- Hold on. No, we didn't. [laughs] Hey. That's good stuff, guys. That was- Is this on? All right. All right, so tonight's- Shank the tire...
1:33
tonight's, today's, this weekend- Oh, that is not good. [laughs]... this fucking, this podcast is basically crap. [laughs] A shit show. It is. Um- But we're gonna have a whole bunch of fucking fun... just saying.
1:44
Um, so when we started out was- We apologize in advance... um, uh, [sighs] Greg came over from, or sorry, Sven came over from Milwaukee. Sven. After he lied on his podcast about not coming. Exactly. Yes. True.
1:57
I'm the only one who listened to that. To be fair, I was listening to my podcast on the way here- [laughs]... that we did on, you know, last week, saying I wasn't gonna come here, and I'm driving here, and I'm like-
2:08
And you're like, "Yeah, yeah"... "Um, I just said I'm not coming here, but I'm driving here." I'm like, "Oh."
2:12
[laughs] And I was probably following you down here from La Crosse, being like, "That fucker said he wasn't coming." [laughs] You guys were actually in La Crosse at the same time. Yeah.
2:19
I was gonna say, did you guys, like, pass? Yeah, you guys were actually in La Crosse at the same time. Like, did you guys, like, not cross paths? Greg had a free hotel room. We're not gonna talk about it. Yeah. Whatever.
2:28
Oh, so you didn't, you didn't wanna jump in? Spinner, Spinner and Greg cross paths a lot. [laughs] I feel like that's a little bit of a- Crossing- Yeah, that's-... crossing swords.
2:39
[laughs] So, so tonight we're doing, or t- this afternoon we did, um- It's tonight. It's- It is the night... uh, no, but this afternoon- I, I feel like we're past afternoon... yeah... I feel like we are now night.
2:49
Um, we did, we did a, uh, um, we're calling it the, uh- We already know by now... we're calling it the ugly fat- Ugly Fat Santa, right? Santa? Yeah. So it's a combination.
2:59
So today is a horrible day because it's, it's, like, Global Fat Bike Day. Copy. And it, and it is, and it is the day everybody runs Santa Rampage. It's the Santa Rampage. And we didn't wanna- Santa Rampage.
3:08
And we tried not to step on toes by doing something in Decorah, so we, we said it was gonna be- 'Cause Captain would get mad. Yeah. But we always do.
3:16
And we, and we, and we did a sweater day, so we just made everything as one. I had the same- And it was, there was five of us. It was fun. Rochester had 50 people. Five of us? Six, seven. One.
3:27
One, two, three, four, five. We already have six, and that doesn't count the other people that showed up. We have six people here? What about, uh, Paula and, uh, the, the, or Pamela? Troy. Pamela? No. Try... Yeah.
3:39
And- So it's not Pamela... and Josiah. Oh my God. Josiah. Josiah. And friend. Josiah and Leah. Super random. We had- Because I feel like- 30, we had a, we had a good dozen people moping in and out of the thing all day.
3:50
Which is fun because it was, that's all it's supposed to be. There's no fundraising. It's not, it's- It's just pure shenanigans. It is. Shenucky ducks. You know, I see your fun, fun, fun. Well, here's the deal.
4:00
Here's what I thought about this thing. Decorah's not that big. It's 10,000 people. What do you mean? That's huge. Most- 8,000. 8,000 people max... because whatever- We have robotic servers. Excuse me.
4:11
It's huge for people. We're kind of a big deal. First of all, from one end to the other of the main drag is 10 blocks, 8 blocks. Maybe. We only did- A mile and a half. Yeah.
4:21
We only did- No, and, and this may be three points a mile. Yeah, but we only did six blocks of it. We're, we're- But what we did was we rode up and down those six blocks many times. Right.
4:31
We went from one place to another place, but it just happened to be up and down the same place, and then people are like, "What are those assholes doing out there?" And they're like- No, we didn't get any asshole.
4:41
We got a lot of waving, a lot of comments. Yeah. But a Decorah block, I want to say, is probably like- Well- They're like-... the a-... three Decorah blocks to one Milwaukee block. And you- You have skyscrapers.
4:50
We have little Norwegian shops. We don't have skyscrapers. [laughs] We have churches. In Milwaukee? Yeah, you do.
4:55
[laughs] The, the impressive part of it all was, is that, is, was that the fact that- It's true, it's true... we did go back and forth, back and forth. Yeah.
5:01
And we actually had people that l- were like- No, they loved us... getting a kick out of it. Yeah. And of course- And you scared the shit out of a lot of kids in the bowling alley. We're awesome. No. Two, two. Two.
5:10
I can't believe that door let us in on our bikes. At least three. So- You gotta tell that story, how you guys- Oh, no. Let's start- Oh, yeah... let's start from the beginning.
5:16
So the beauty of today was we all made it, we were, so we were fashionably late. Uh, Shannon and I and, and- I can't say late anymore... Sven were, like, fashionably late getting to Haymarket.
5:25
Yeah, and I kind of- We got there- As always... and I kind of, Chewy wanted to take a shower or something. But yeah, what's fashionably late? 2:30, 3:00? No, like 2:15. We're the... Yeah, we're there, like, yeah.
5:34
Oh, that's not that late. No, but- That's not fashionable. Well, Decorah's on, on a clock, you know? Okay. So, so we were, we, we, we were good. We got there. We were reprimanded.
5:43
Um, and then it was like, and after that it doesn't matter. If there's people wanna ride, they ride. If they don't want to, I don't care.
5:48
I've, we've done, and I'll tell you right now, Rochester had 50 people at, at the one, that I don't, I no longer- Allegedly. What was it like? Well- Were you there? I'm, I'm going, I'm- Photographic evidence.
6:00
Were any of us there? Yeah. I'm going by an employee of, of, um, Brothers. And she told me I was 50. I'm not going by what those guys say. Fair. And I, and I'll be honest with you, I don't care.
6:10
I, um, I think Greg and I have... Sorry. Sven and I have, have hit- Don't worry about it. He's a fucking guy. [laughs] This, this one guy and I have, have hit a point where it was like- You just have to be me...
6:20
the big ones are- Really? And we're all gonna do one next year. They're... You have to do it once, but once you do it once, tonight was way more fun.
6:29
To have f- a half dozen of us ride up and down the streets of Decorah in stupid costumes, and some guys are really good- And also blocking- Some people put a lot of effort into their costumes... all vehicular traffic.
6:41
Oh, fair. No, but it, but it is fucking fun. It is. Like, a whole bunch of fun. It is fun. And, and, and, and people love it. There's no doubt people love it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes, sir. Yeah.
6:50
You might have- I will put it directly into- You might have, like, two people who hate it, but, like, the rest of the time everybody else that you drive by- I-... is, like, giving you high fives- Yeah...
6:59
and, like, having a bunch of fun. I waved at a lot of kids today. Yeah. Well, and you- Yeah... have... And, and somebody should be taking pictures, but, but- Somebody...
7:09
Spinner has, without a doubt, the best true Santa costume ever. Yeah. Without a doubt. All right. Kind of like you, Greg. Last year it was Cheers' costume. You are the Santa costume.
7:19
There was a handicapped- You rock the Santa costume... there was a handicapped person at the bowling alley that looked at you, and he came over without even a heartbeat. Yes.
7:25
Without even thinking about it, he went over and did his whole thing. And you know what? That kid left with a smile. That's what it's really all about. [laughs] That's what it's all about. Yeah. Absolutely. It is.
7:37
Yeah, it is. Absolutely, 100%, that's what it's all about. It's all about the thing that nobody planned on. All you guys should. [laughs] It is. Yeah. The, the not planned plan. Hey, you're supposed to look over there.
7:47
Okay. Yeah. Jackass. Photograph, photo op. All right, photo op. Fuck off. Bye. Oh, by the way, Chewy still has eye makeup on. Yeah. I know. The look- Yeah. I love the fact that he doesn't have the full face look.
7:58
But you know what? I feel like that makes me look so much better, though. So, like, yeah. Handle it. You should look like ass, so I look better. Ass. Does anybody wanna play this organ really quick? No.
8:08
Well, we- I, I- I feel like I can. No, sorry. That was bad. Do you really wanna see? I can play Chopsticks. [laughs] No, don't. Oh my God. That's the- No. Chop- [laughs] Do-do, do-do-do...
8:15
honest to God, Chopsticks have never worked well. Like, on my head. So I don't know if we've done a podcast since that thing moved in there. Uh, no, we... No, seriously. Or the, like, the man from Snorkers.
8:23
Does he make you not, like, talk into the front of the thing this way? No. 'Cause I breathe hard through my nose. No, you do a good job. It's- Is it working better? Yeah. Yeah. I know. So- Oh, hey, it's working great.
8:33
The man from Snorkers is so good at that. Welcome to the Shit Show. [burps] Excuse me. Are we still doing this? Yeah. So the, so the, uh- Are you guys still doing a show? The, uh, so the organ- Seems like they are...
8:41
is kind of, the organ is an interesting story because we brought that, uh, um, it was, it was a freebie. I got that for nothing. Yeah. Oh, really? If somebody gave that to me for nothing, I would say no. [laughs] Yeah.
8:54
No, that's, they gave it away for nothing because- Spinner, Spinner probably a-... they didn't want it... smart choice. Yeah. You- 'Cause actually what happened after that is, like, I'm like, ooh.
9:01
I said the same thing to a hair massage chair. No, no. After that I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm like, I got a piano stool that would, might just, like, fit right with that. [laughs] Yeah.
9:10
In other words, in other words they got more shit on top of this one, yeah. Oh, here we go. Um, well, here, wait, here's the best part. Here he goes. Here he goes. Oh. Spinner's gonna play it. We have no brakes.
9:18
Go, Greg. Go, Greg. Go, Greg. Da, da, da, da, da, da. [piano plays] Ah. Sorry I asked. But I feel like you need- It sounds like you... not at least, like, play something.
9:32
Does the, does the gyrations make something different? [laughs] I think. You gotta pump some air in there. He always, he always does the patience. Oh. Yeah, you do sometimes. He always plays patience for like...
9:42
Oh, no, wait, wait, wait. Now back. A, a little round of applause here. A little round. [clapping] Ah, that's so awesome. Woo. All right. I think we might get you props for the, uh- All right. Reconvened.
9:51
The fucking, over 100-year-old thing makes actual music. It does. No, it's- Not that I do. I know that I call that music, but yeah, it made noise. I, I actually, actually- Those, those are called chords...
10:01
the, the, the best I can tell, the best I can tell from- Mostly... looking at the labels on this- Most, mostly chords... it's either, uh- It also s-... 1890s or early 1900s that thing is from.
10:11
It also smells like mothballs. Uh-huh. How do you get the legs apart to look at them, smell them? It just, let's g- And it actually- It actually made music. Did you hear that?
10:20
The aesthetic of it, like, is half- I feel like the piano stool gives, like, a somewhere to sit- I feel like I just wanna sit in the background and make noise while you guys talk... and feel great. Yeah.
10:27
I think that's what everybody's doing. Who knows wh- who sat on that? Is the aesthetic still there? 'Cause, because, no, because that one you have to talk into. I know, but it's hard to share. All right. Okay.
10:34
So- Yeah... can I just do the background music while you guys talk? Talk? There you go. Yeah. Yeah. No. You, uh, you're supposed to be running this. You know what? I feel like- We're gonna start- It's not my show.
10:43
It's your show. When the pizza shows up, you guys eat, and me and Kayla just talk. Yeah. We are just so brilliant. [laughs] Fucking work would be way more cool. Uh, it makes a ton of sense.
10:52
Is this how- Who's gonna- Is this what happens every time you guys do a show? Uh- Pretty much... pretty close. [laughs] Yeah. No wonder they're so good. What? Well, they're, uh- That's why. It's been a while though.
11:02
I mean, well, yeah, why has it been a while? Well, don't look at me. I'm sorry. No. Yes, I'm looking at you. No. Yes, I'm looking at you- No...
11:09
because if you remember, like, in, in, in, in podcast, in podcast number 32, 33, you were going to be the calendar girl and keep track of shit. Yeah. And you, uh, when was the last time we fucking talked to you?
11:21
I am a calendar girl of sorts maybe. I don't know. I feel like there's a song about that. << Calendar girl >> That is a song. Uh, I just thought we were talking about her shorts, but that's beside the point. Um, [laughs]
11:33
She don't got no shorts. She don't got no shorts on right now. It's a little chilly out tonight. But, but- Full pants... so trying to get this group together, um, has been, like, next to impossible. Mm-hmm.
11:46
But at the same time now all of a sudden we have everybody go, and now everybody's so fucked up it doesn't make any sense. I love these guys. We are fucked, are we? No. I, I'm, I'm not bad. I'm- Some of us are fucked up.
11:56
I, uh, I- Well, some of us got here late... some of us did here, 'cause some of us are cutting trees out of the fucking woods today. Oh, boy. Wait, what? Yeah.
12:03
Let's talk about trail work at Decorah, and then we can talk about Rochester trail work. All right. That's great. And what's gonna happen. Talking about, like, buckthorn? That's not trees. I didn't do- Sorry.
12:11
I didn't, we didn't, I... We, neither one of us did buckthorn. I don't know. This is why we needed, um- So-... an agenda. Da, da, da, da, da. Duh.
12:19
That's why I said we're not doing one because I knew- First of all- It's the Shit Show Podcast... agenda schmonenda I like to say that Tremendo Do you? I- Shouldn't someone- Okay.
12:29
If you want to, um, let's do it this way. Um, what... Oh, d- you, you have your own podcast coming up of all the rides you've been on lately Yeah, we don't need to talk about those right now.
12:40
No, because- I mean, we can, but we don't have to... no, we can't, because you have, like, a podcast in yourself of all the rides you've been on lately. You're talking about her OnlyFans? [laughs] That, too. Nope.
12:50
I don't do that. So when you say she has- I wish I did for rent...
12:53
her own podcast, are you saying you're gonna lead her through it, or she has her own that she's doing with other people- 'Cause he wants to hear about the streams I've been on...
13:01
independent, independent of Ron ch- salon chair Chewy Muscle. [laughs] So Twinkle Tits/Kayla has a goal to go to every state and bike- Mm-hmm...
13:10
and so I just checked off three more, and so that's what he wants to do a podcast on. No, but even beyond that, you, we haven't talked since, um, RAGBRAI or, um, like you've been, like- I'm not doing that.
13:21
[laughs] Is it me? No. That's why he's over here. It's not you. [laughs] I to- s- it's me. I apologize. [laughs] That's hilarious. No, uh, I'm, I don't wanna ruin your show at, like- No, keep-...
13:34
eight minutes into it You're late. [laughs] Yeah. Are we... Uh, we're 13 minutes in, so go ahead and ruin it. Yeah. Okay, so where were we going with this?
13:40
Like it, like, like, like it had anything going for it to start with. This is, like, this is what we do. It's like, "Hey, let's all go out drinking all fucking day long and then do a podcast."
13:49
Yeah, but we're not done with the drinking portion. Oh, no, we're not. Not at all. Oh, no. I mean, like- We're, like, halfway there... we're, we're cutting this- Oh, yeah... we're cutting this on Facebook Live.
13:56
[singing] Halfway there. [singing] Oh, oh. [singing] Livin' on a prayer. [singing] Oh, halfway there. Oh, sorry. And then this is wh- You walked into that. We're back, guys.
14:08
And this is why I bought the new podcasting system, so it's, it's w- The pizza guy's halfway to your house 'cause you gave me the wrong fucking address.
14:13
[laughs] [laughs] I keep on, like, getting concerned- Did he just, like, fucking turn and run the other way when he heard that? Where's 507? Pretty sure he's like, um- There's probably not even a 507.
14:20
No, it's- He just serves the street. No, 507 is... 507 is, is the, is the, um, is the fire hydrant outside the, that, that, that Shanny- Oh, the fire hydrant? Shanny uses as a piss- We'll find it eventually...
14:30
the Shanny's, Shanny's firehouse. I know where this fire hydrant's at. [laughs] It's like right across the fucking street. If Spildy is delivering, he'll come in and have a beer. I do know where the fire hydrant is.
14:38
He will, yeah. Perfect. 'Cause he did the last time we did that. Is he, is he the guy that came last time we were at Chewy's house? Yeah, he's the guy who had a beer at my house. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We had, we had, we had...
14:45
That was- Yeah. Actually, that was- I could offer a beer... that was a good weekend. 'Cause I call and they're like, "Is this Spinner?" I'm like- We, well- "It is, but it's not going to my house."
14:52
[laughs] I'm going to 507. Did, did you say Spinner's not going to my house? No, when I call and order Maebh's, they'll, uh, my number must show up, and like, "Is this Spinner?"
15:01
I'm like, "It is, but this is not going to my house. It's going to the wrong address." 507. Probably, like, a safe, like, thing. Like, "No, don't go to Spinner's house." To deliver pizza? Yeah.
15:12
Well, it's suspicious at this point. If you just tell me you're going to Chewy's house- 'Cause they will actually do it... everybody knows... Like, you can't believe the people I have talked to.
15:18
So I've been down here for, what, two weeks? No. You've been down here for two weeks? [laughs] I ha- no, I haven't been down here for two weeks. He's been tweaking for two weeks.
15:27
[laughs] And, and, and, and everybody's like, "Hey, do you know there's a guy, like, parked his car in your driveway?" Everybody knows. I parked by him this morning at the fucking trails. Did you really?
15:36
And I didn't realize he was in his fucking car, so I, like, backed in. Who are you talking about? I don't know. No, there's this- Subaru girl... Subaru with a fucking, um, uh, New York plates. Yeah. There's pizza.
15:47
Oh, true, true, true. Who is it? It's to be included. Yep. Is it, is it... Who is it? Is it Spildy? Pizza... [indistinct] Is it Spildy? No. Ah. How?
15:56
Well, ask him how he got- Drag that, drag that- Ask him how he figured out it was 507, not 508... yeah, drag that submission here. Talk to me. Spinner called. Spinner's on top of it. Let me make sure that- He's out.
16:06
I'm gonna help you. Hey. Oh, here, huh? [laughs] He's wanting in there. He's wanting in- All right. So this is gonna be the best podcast ever because people are gonna leave now- The pizza guy just left...
16:13
because they're gonna go eat pizza instead. Are we? Nah, we're good. Well, I'm not, but we can... We're good. Well- Bring, bring pie, bro. Make sure, Dave, you cover the tip. God, it doesn't smell.
16:22
Do we have enough to cover it? I'm a big tipper. Little dick but big tipper. Yeah, but he's good. Your bag and your hood is covered in, uh- Yes, I know. I, no, I- It's all over his tiptoes. Bog. All right. Bog. Bog.
16:35
I totally lost track of where we're at. We're talking about- We weren't anywhere. We're in- We made, we made no progress. [laughs] We were just in the fucking middle. To be fair, we haven't even explained where we are.
16:45
Could we? We're in, we're in Chewy's- Oh, yeah... we're in Chewy's house out on a river. Yeah, like, why are we here? Why are we here in Decorah? In Decorah. Like, I feel like we need to, like, go there.
16:53
'Cause there's nowhere better. We are still here. Chewy's house out on a river. We can go to Rochester and hide from the cops and drink fucking- No, we're there... $19 beers. Yeah. No, Rochester sucks. I, I- Yeah.
17:02
I don't wanna back that up, but, like, yeah, Decorah, like, like, there is something, like, super cool about Decorah. Rochester doesn't suck. We could pay way more taxes somewhere else, and we can fucking- No.
17:10
Well, okay. Can we pay more? I was talking about drinking. I wasn't talking about taxes and how much fucking sucks to live there. No, we're talking about life in general. You're right. A- a- a- Taxes? Pay taxes...
17:18
and as long as, as long as you and I avoid all the bullshit- [sings]... we're fine. But, but the, but the bullshit has hit me hard, in other words, in Rochester. I don't want nothing to fucking do with that town.
17:31
Oh, we have something to talk about offline, but yep. Okay. Offline. I got sick of it in the little bit of time I was there. Yeah. I have- No, it's worse. It's not real bad.
17:38
First of all, every time I've been there, people have gotten hurt, and I don't feel like I want people, my friends, to get hurt.
17:43
[laughs] I was, like, looking at this today, like- Well, to be fair, if you're walking like a sailor out of a bar, you probably shouldn't bike down a hill with no brakes.
17:50
[laughs] I was looking for blood on my suit today. I have a break that's just on the back here that I didn't know where it was at. [laughs] This is the same bloody suit from that night.
17:56
Yes, and yours- Did you get hurt in Rochester? No, but he was- No, no, no, no... he was, he was- I've been arrested a few times. [laughs] He was, he was- [laughs] Oh, a few times? [gasps] Can we talk about that? No.
18:06
Yeah, let's go. [laughs] What do you mean, no? No. Let's not talk about it. I'm not saying Dave got hurt- Yeah... but he fell down. We have careers. Yeah, but Spinner got... Spinner's been- Nah, we're good.
18:15
Spinner been, Spinner- I spent multiple days in that fucking jail... so, so Spinner and I have spent time in jail. I get to spend time in Preston. Together? Cirque. No, no, no, no. I get to spend time in Preston.
18:25
He spent time in Rochester. Oh yeah, I've spend, I've been in jail in this town, in Madison- Mushrooms... in Rochester- In Decorah?... in Rapids. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You been to... Really? Yeah, 10 days.
18:35
Why do people think you want to get, like- No, I just do things. Why would you be in jail? 'Cause he knows- Maybe, maybe they want your- I know, I know-... massive manliness...
18:43
I know he's up for election for a district guy. Yeah. [laughs] People fuck with me and I don't appreciate it. You know who tried to fuck with me today? O'Gara. Did she? A little bit. [laughs] Oh, yeah, I did see that.
18:54
[laughs] I told him to, to be fair. Well, he didn't know who you were- Well, we both did... 'cause you're just sitting at the bar with the Santa thing. Oh, he, he knows who I am.
19:00
Oh, he knows who you are, but he, you didn't look like you from the bar. Yeah, but he did recognize me after that. And then you talked shit about his wife, so he was gonna... about to took you out. No. [laughs] No way.
19:09
About, about his, about his, about his new wife? His new wife. No, he- See- No, he was actually like- I, I love the fact that- He would talk shit about his old wife...
19:16
bro, I love the fact that I walked up to her- Bro, bro, bro, bro, I'm like, bro- That's not what he said... bro. He is not a bro guy. He did. Totally love me. He is not a bro guy. He totally loved me. He is, too.
19:25
He is a bro guy. First of all, the, O'Gara loves me. You guys can go fuck yourself, but he did love me. He's, uh, a- Yeah. We love Don... I, you're lucky he doesn't hate you. Ooh, wow.
19:34
Pizza- I had, I had a giggle about, about, um, Allison, 'cause I walked up to her in my Go- in my- She looks awesome... costume. She goes, "Mafia, get the fuck away from me." [laughs] I go, "Why?"
19:44
She goes, "You're creeping me out right now." Yeah. [laughs] She ran over to me and told me the same thing. [laughs] That you're creeping her out? You- No, that you were creeping her out. Oh, really? Yeah.
19:52
She's like, "Mafia tried to hug me." [laughs] But he wears the same outfit every year, so what's, uh- Everybody knows it's you... oh, it's, it's, it's changed a little bit. No. He washed all the blood out of it.
20:05
[laughs] No, this is a new mask. Is that blood? We're eating pizza now- That, that, that, that one died... so if you hear all the chomping. Eating pizza. Mm. So good. We're... Oh, yes. Maib's.
20:14
So- That doesn't sponsor us- Oh, fuck... but they should... we're gonna do that, weren't we? So we're gonna start doing, we're gonna start doing commercials. 'Cause Greg asked me- Who's pizza?
20:21
'Cause Sven is doing money off this. Now, we all, and excuse me, Maib's, best pizza in Decorah. Mm. Isn't it the only pizza in Decorah? [laughs] Have you had- No. That's not the point. Here- No, no...
20:32
we have Pizza Ranch, we have Casey's. You still have Pizza Ranch? Oh, yeah, I saw that coming into town. Yeah. 'Cause I came off the Locust Road- Locust, he's like the gas station... and never come in from that way.
20:41
I'm like, "Oh, yeah, there's Pizza Ranch." We have Pizza Hut. Um- What? Pizza butt. Yeah, we- Why did we get Pizza Hut? We get Pizza Hu- They have stuffed crust. We've had that forever. Where? They don't deliver it.
20:52
I have not had a stuffed crust in forever. It's by... Okay, so when you come in, like by my house by Culver's, and it's across from Culver's and McDonald's and Quaker Steak. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. That's still there? Yeah.
21:01
This is the only place. So I was looking for McDonald's on my way from La Crosse to here. Geez Louise. Guess where the only McDonald's is? Not anywhere between La Crosse and here. Nope. Kwik Trips, uh- Yep.
21:12
Oh, Kwik Trip, oh, boy howdy- 'Cause the Subway in-... they have some good, they have some good grub up in that Kwik Trip, don't they? Sure do. They do. Kwik Trip, Kwik Stars- I want some... they're all good...
21:21
oh, look at that. Oh, thank you. Wow, that's very heavy. Wow. Uh, Kwik Trip chicken is like- That seems heavy. It's, it's heavy on the bread with the- I can't do Kwik Trip pizza. Mm. What?
21:32
No, Kwik Trip pizza's like- No, their breakfast sandwiches- Smash on some Kwik Trip pizza... are all right, though... late night. Yeah. That's like, the breakfast sandwich and a coffee, I get that all the time.
21:39
Yeah, copy. Casey's breakfast pizzas, though- So- Oh, man... oh, you guys have Cas- I forgot. You have Casey's in Iowa. Casey's breakfast pizza. We have Kwik Trips in, uh, Wisconsin. I, I get excited about that. Well...
21:50
Have they scuttled over the border? No. We have Kwik Star. Oh. And a Kwik Trip, 'cause we do have a Kwik Trip down by Des Moines. Kwik Trip is in, and Minnesota. Yeah.
21:59
See, this is like, this is like in the bike industry, which theoretically we might talk about bikes on this show. Oh, sure.
22:07
This is like, uh, in, in Wisconsin, we always say Wheel & Sprocket, and in Minnesota slash, I don't think Iowa, oh, maybe, but Erik's. Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah.
22:18
So there's Erik's and Wheel & Sprocket, and they don't piss in each other's backyard. Suddenly we have, like, five Erik's in Milwaukee. There's two Erik's in Madison that I know of. Right. Thank you.
22:28
So they have pissed in the- Oh, make sure and when you get a big- If it's in the pie... the back- backyard of the... You know, it's like, oh- Well-... let's just be good guests each other. No, we're gonna take over.
22:39
It's like, well- Good boys. Miles- Wait, so Wheel & Sprocket is Wisconsin, Erik's is Minnesota. Who's Iowa? Yeah. Mm. They're not the same company. I mean, they're competitors, though. Yeah. Obviously.
22:50
No, no doubt about it. But so are, so are Kwik Trip and Casey's. I mean, they're not the same company. But they're, they're competitors everywhere. Well- Yeah...
22:59
there was a time when Casey's and Kwik Trip- Is there a Casey's in Wisconsin?... had an agreement that- I don't think so... towns of a certain- Count... population- There is? Oh, okay.
23:09
There's a Casey's in Adam- You might find one... Kwi- Kwi- Kwik Trip was set up and Casey's had those. And, uh, so the ones with a higher population, that's where Kwik Trip went.
23:19
Lower population, that's where Casey went. And then Kwik Trip just, I, m- my, my assumption is, is that Kwik Trip just said, "Fuck that. We're taking over everything."
23:29
I'm not sure about that, but- There a Casey's in Green Bay... look at, look at Decorah. Decorah has a town of- 8,000 people... 8,000 people, and they have three Kwik Trips. That's, like, 12,000. And two Casey's.
23:37
'Cause of the college. Oh, no. The college is small as fuck. 60,000 a year, nobody goes there anymore. Great. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, on account of the pottery program has gone by the wayside.
23:51
Is that what brought you here? Well, it is a good artistry program there at the old college. You have a lot of artsy people here. I don't know how anybody makes money. Well- It's the arts...
24:04
gotta say, these microphones pick up the- The chomping? Everybody eating? Yeah. I know. That's why I warned everybody- It, it's awesome... it's pizza time. You have a lot of work to do. Don't worry about it.
24:12
A lot of chomp-a-lomping. You have a lot of work to do, don't you? Hey, it's not, it's not my show. I don't care what you people do. I don't either. But here's the deal about this.
24:17
But yeah, you're not gonna put it in the can. You're gonna be like, "Eh, I'm not gonna air this." [laughs] Well, first of all, we need content, so we'll just put this up there and it'll be fine.
24:26
Only- Everyone, everyone loves- Only because- Everyone loves Ron doing this. Oh. So- This is like w- you listen to a podcast when you're driving. Oh my God. When you're driving around- No, it's all right you guys...
24:38
you listen to a podcast- Just want to find the right one...
24:39
or you're, like, driving with friends and people are just gonna be drinking in their chair, the recliner at home, hoping that they're gonna listen to this so they don't feel so lonely. Yes.
24:46
All right, here's the deal about a- Possibly... here's the deal about a guy I knew a long time ago- Yeah... who was a brilliant man. This is, like, 25 years ago, before GoPros came out, before- Good topic...
25:00
before any kind of, um, point of view cameras came out. Do you want this one? This one's good. It's already open. That's the sweet spot. What are you talking about? So the, the guy- I'm listening... the guy was a stoner.
25:09
He's like- Are you? "I think I should just have a camera on my head, and I think people would just like to watch every day." No, this is like a- You talking about Big Sexy? No. No, it's like this- Oh, this...
25:21
No, he was actually a very, uh, successful business guy, but he's like, "Here's the deal." Wow. I can give you a free- "Because I'm successful, I don't have to do everything all day long.
25:30
So I'm just gonna sit in my house and smoke dope all day long." [laughs] "And I think that it would be really, really, really, really awesome if people could just watch me with some kind of device on my head."
25:43
Okay, and cut. There we go. And- Yeah, we're good. [laughs] We ran out. Lo and behold- It's an adventure... lo and behold, it came up later, but n- that did not exist then. He's like, "I've, I, I'm ahead...
25:54
It's like I'm ahead of curve, because it would've been awesome." It's like, "I'm just gonna wake up in the morning and have my camera on, and I'm like, I'm gonna go to the fridge and get some food.
26:04
And I'm gonna smoke some dope, and then, uh, yeah, you guys can see what happens after that, obviously. Blah, blah, blah." But there was nothing to record his brilliant idea. And I'm- Okay. Okay. I feel sad.
26:19
So what are we talking about? [laughs] Just about. I got lost. I'm sorry. [laughs] You were eating pizza, for God's sake. I was laughing- Yeah, here's-...
26:28
at the fact that we're just getting random, like- Yeah, here's the deal... things of cheesy, very marinara with no plates. [laughs] We... I mean, everyone's eating food. We could pause.
26:38
We gave you- We're pounding pizza, guys. We could. Brian, where is that? Wow. They keep- All right, all right... giving me bread. All right, 26 minutes.
26:45
We can just keep going and just make this a, a, an absolute horrible one to start with. Try to think what happened. Well, I'm going to San Diego next week for work. Am I? Where? Are you really?
26:54
And on Tuesday we're doing a community service thing where we're gonna build bicycles around San Diego. What? Yeah. I- Absolutely. That's really cool. No, it's not, un- unfortunate- n- and I'm not trying to be a dick.
27:08
But you are. What? Yeah. [laughs] I just said it was cool, and you're saying it's not. Please explain. No, because, because everybody's, like, jumping on this bandwagon.
27:18
Um, it's happened in Rochester, it's happened in Des Moines, it's happened everywhere. And they build those bikes, and you know what? They're not doing dick. Walmart is giving them $100,000- 100,000 fucking bicycles.
27:29
They could give two shits less. All they're doing is putting them together and then throwing them out there. They're throwing shit bikes back out there. Mm-hmm. And, and- It might be. I don't know.
27:37
I didn't see what it was. I just thought this was one- Well, I mean, that's not... I mean, granted, that's just my opinion. But I'm... I don't like the fact that we are making... We are...
27:49
It's acceptable for kids to ride shitty bikes because you're gonna outgrow it, and I don't think that's right. I, I don't think... I don't think that that, that- You get more little kids, wouldn't it?
28:01
I mean, how good of a bike do you need as a w- as a, as a little kid? How, how high of a quality bike do you need? Yeah, you just need to be able to pedal something. No, you're right, but you...
28:10
but it needs to be a- They're gonna outgrow it- But the brake-... they're gonna outgrow it too fast for it to matter... but the brakes need to be able to... But the brakes need... They can't be shitty.
28:18
I don't give a fuck what you spend- They're still gonna break. No. A lot of these bikes- I mean, there's gonna be, like, a free maintenance, you're saying? For like if you're gonna buy- A lot of those bikes-...
28:26
a free bicycle out there, you get a, a free maintenance... a lot of those bikes from the sho- from Walmart's floors, the brakes don't work.
28:32
You need one fucking thing to work on those bikes, it's the brakes, and they don't work. This is what's got my spots. And, uh, and it's like- How do you... Why are you shitting on his thing already?
28:39
Do you know for a fact that he's doing Walmart bikes? I would assume, because- I would assume I am, too, but... [laughs] And, and the reason I say that is because there's, again, Rochester doing the same thing.
28:49
He's selling- Oh, I didn't know anything... he's selling bikes for $20, $30 that he, that like, if you look at them, they're brand-new Walmart bikes. Like, so in Rochester, we have this thing going on [clears throat]
29:00
where a resident walks into Rochester and he's kids need a bike, and he goes to Walmart and he buys them four bikes, and they ride them twice, and then they just sit.
29:11
And then they, and then, and then some friends of mine that have businesses that clean out houses, so when the residents leave, they don't take fucking anything with them.
29:19
They leave it all right there, and they walk away from it. So they get these bikes, and they want, they want to donate those bikes to good people. Every bike I've ever worked on- I have this...
29:29
has been one that ha- that needs, like, brakes adjusted. They're not great brakes, but you can make them work, right? And that's all I do is make shit work, because otherwise, I mean, the...
29:39
Sometimes the brake handles are broke. Shit, they... It, it's the same thing that breaks on every one of them because of poor setup to start with, and they don't... Oh, my God. Hi. Hi. [laughs] They just don't- Oh, hi.
29:57
So, so my point is is that they're just crappy-made bikes. They are crappy-made bikes, and I'm wondering if the solution to this is a easier to adjust brakes.
30:07
So, like, you ever seen those, um, hose clamps that have, like, the finger tightener on there so you don't have to get a wrench out? Can you get your pointer out? I can't see. It's got, like, a- Oh, yeah...
30:15
almost like a wing nut. Like, would there be something like that where you can... No, there we go. John? Okay. I don't know. I can't hear me. Put it in your mouth. So- At all? Motherfucking mouth. Well, not the same.
30:27
But no, just, like, if you could do a wing nut something that you can just turn with your fingers and make the brakes better, would that fix this problem? It kind of works like that on, like, mechanical disc brakes.
30:37
You just get the old- But you have to have a tool... the old Allen tool. Brr, brr, brr. I'm saying toolless. Can you make it toolless? No. Eh.
30:44
So are they just like, "Eh," they tweak it a little bit So you're gonna make everybody that rides a bike do their own maintenance? [gasps] No, just the cheap-ass shit. Just the Walmart bikes.
30:53
Those are the people that need a person that actually needs to work on a bike the most. I think, I think- I would agree... right? Like- They're the least- Well, no...
31:01
I mean, like, the pool- So theoretically, people that ride bikes regularly know how to work at least on basic shit.
31:08
Right, but what I'm hear- what I'm hearing Chewie say is that the barrier to entry is being able to fix and maintain your brakes, and 'cause if you don't know it, you get a free bike because you didn't buy the bike.
31:17
Right. And you're gonna quit riding it. You're gonna ride it twice because the brakes don't work anymore. All right. So if you had a free bike and you needed brakes, would you rather have a rim brake or a disc brake?
31:28
Disc. Yeah. I don't care. I want the bike to stop. Right. I don't know the difference. Right. But- But rim brake's gonna need more maintenance than a disc brake, right?
31:35
As a person that actually knows bikes, I would say you're better off with a rim brake. Oh. Because they're more forgiving. I would say yeah. Disc brakes are pissy. They're hard to manage, yes.
31:44
And they may be better for certain circumstances, but as long as you don't- I know... go through a pothole and totally blow up your rim, your, your d- first of all, a rim brake is a disc brake. Yes.
31:58
It's just much larger. Yes. It's like humongously larger. We under- understand that, but let's, let's, let's take a different- Well, we, not everyone understands it... let's go down a different route though.
32:08
So you own a bike shop. If somebody says, "Hey, I bought, got this Walmart bike for free," how much is it gonna cost to adjust these brakes?
32:17
Uh, don't even [bike crashing] bring the bike to my shop because- You don't wanna fucking see it... no, I don't want to because it isn't that I don't wanna help people out, it's that it's not worth working on.
32:28
For your time, you're not gonna make any money, you're not gonna- Not, no, it's not- The door's open... no, that's not even about the money. Okay. It's about that thing is pretty poor. So you can't make it good. Uh, no.
32:40
It'd be pretty hard to make it good. Oh, no. Like, you, you can tweak it and you're gonna still say, "At the end of the day, I can do-" I can make it- "...
32:45
everything I know to this and it's still gonna be a piece of shit"... I can make it better- I can polish this turd- Yeah... it's still a turd. I can make it a turd that does- A shiny turd... that doesn't- For a day...
32:52
doesn't stink. And- That you can ride for how long? Copy that. Oh. That, that the first time they lay it down wrong and they throw it against the wall, it doesn't work again. Yeah.
33:03
They park it in the stupid fucking city bike rack. No res- bikes get no respect. They don't, right? Well, this is, this is, this is- We went from drunk to deep. [laughs] Well, it's certainly- Yeah, I was like-...
33:15
dump-... so what's still the problem and what's the solution, guys? Like, where are we going with this? No, I was just looking for a solution. It wa- did, did- We went from Shito to deep talk to I am lost.
33:26
If y- no, if you li- if you go back to just conversations that bike shop people have had, people like us that just fix bikes on the side. Yeah. Um, the problem is is that in China they make
33:43
10 million bicycles, and they do a shitty job of 'em, and they don't care. Maybe call it like a bicycle replica. It's not really a bicycle, right? It's like- You're right, yeah... it has the parts that look like a bike.
33:52
Okay, we get it, Walmart bikes are shitty, guys. Don't buy them. Don't even, like- Man... take the donation. [laughs] No, I know.
33:58
That's why we're saying I'm gonna go build bikes in San Diego and they're gonna say- Oh, fuck you... "Because you're building shitty bikes and giving 'em to another." Yeah, please.
34:05
So this is where a place like Dream Bikes in Milwaukee comes in because they get donations. They take what were bike shop quality bikes, not
34:17
big box store bikes, and they go through them and they make them serviceable, and they- Oh my God... get them to people that can afford bikes for a very low price, or in a lot of cases they give them to them.
34:31
And, you know, it's like, well, we're not gonna, we don't take in Walmart bikes at all because they're not worth it. They, they sell it, turn it in?
34:39
No, it has to be something that at least had been a bike store quality bike. Okay. That's, yeah. Because in the end- Your serviceable parts So I know, but general listeners might not know.
34:50
What are the brands that are Walmart bikes so they know not to take those? [laughs] Oh, this is, this is a subject we can't even get into right now. We're not gonna go there? 'Cause it feels like we're going there.
34:59
No, we can't because, because the name changes all the time. Yeah. Like, so we would- That's it... so look at- I mean, not use trends... you, you, you'd have to, you'd have to go the other way. Yeah.
35:08
You would say you have to go with the main brands, like Nishiki and, and Trek and Specialized. Nishiki is a name brand? Well, it was. I love those guys. It was. Those guys made some great frames.
35:21
They're not around anymore. Is it? Yeah, they're not. But I mean, just say, like say that kind of stuff, like, so if you- But when you go to Walmart, what do you get? Schwinn. Mongoose. Shitty. Mongoose. Mongoose. Yeah.
35:29
Mongoose is a big one. Shitty. Mongoose fucked up a long time ago. Like, I see Mongoose on Marketplace all the time. Anything- Yeah... and they're still trying to mark those up... anything from Pacific Bicycle Company.
35:39
Or Iron Horse. Go fuck themselves. Steelhorse? Uh- Yeah... Iron Horse. Iron Horse. Iron Horse made some good stuff. Yeah, Iron Horse is still, like, out of Canada, there's s- I haven't really seen much Iron Horse.
35:49
Schwinn and Mongoose are, like, the biggest ones. I'm talking about at Walmart, not- Yeah... any names you wanna come up with out of your back pocket. But these are things- No, the commonalities. Yeah.
35:58
Like, hey, don't get these bikes. Mongoose, why do we sell those at Walmart? 'Cause f- for your $70 bike, are you kidding me? Well, I mean- Why would you dilute your brand like that? That's fucking stupid.
36:08
You have to admit, Mongoose at one time was not a dollar store bike. They were the shit back in the day, dude. Yeah. BMX days, Mongoose was the shit.
36:16
My first, my first mountain bike racing bike was a Mongoose- Something, something wrong with the name... and it was, like, kickass. Mm-hmm. And then- But they don't do commuter bikes or, like, what people- Who cares?
36:24
Maybe Specialized. Back in the day they had a thing. Now they've- Which-... diluted the brand-... I'm selling myself to Specialized... and they're selling them at Walmart. Fuck off.
36:33
And when, and once you start selling the stuff at Walmart, whether it's Schwinn, Mongoose, whatever, that quality's not there. There, there is e- there is a, a pers- a, um, what am I gonna put? A
36:48
margin percentage in, in, in what they're gonna make off that bike. And that, and that's there, so they don't care. You put Mongoose names on there,
36:57
m- Walmart is hoping that you go, "Oh, yeah, back when we were kids, those Mongooses were kick-ass bikes." And they're not anymore.
37:04
They're hoping that the dad that had the kick-ass Mongoose freestyle bike is like, "Oh, I want my son to have a goddamn Mongoose right now." Right now, yeah. Except it's made in, you know... Well.
37:16
It's probably the same thing with Schwinn. I mean- Yeah... Schwinns used to be the bike, right? Now- It was quantity versus quality...
37:22
they're selling- Yeah, how many ti- you know how many times they tried to bring that, that company back and just because they failed and went, it went the Walmart brand, they don't come back. Pacific Cycle, baby.
37:33
Hey, you know what? I saw- Yeah... in Deek's Window, I'm talking about this kind of brand, but there's a Ritchie in Deek's Window. That's a kick-ass bike. Oh, that's a nice bike. Yeah. That P29 he's got in there.
37:43
Do you, do you look at that? [laughs] That's a very nice bike. That's an old one. Is Ritchie still around? I- Or is he a classic? Okay. No, he's, he, he does all of his own design still.
37:53
They're made in Taiwan, which is the greatest place- Are you still on me?... to make a bike. Yeah. I would argue that it's better than making them in the United States right now. In the... I don't hear that shit.
38:01
Dude, there's p- there's guys that m- weld 15 frames a day. Okay? How many guys weld 15 frames a day in the United States? They weld 15 frames in a year, or in- Never... six months or in two months. Those guys are great.
38:19
They're very passionate about making bikes. There's a 50-person company, and they do a great job. This is where Surly comes from. This is where Ritchie comes from. Mm-hmm. This is where higher-end Jamis comes from.
38:33
This is where high-end... I'm not even saying go to China. You can't get a good bike made? No, you can. Stop talking about me. You know why? Because we taught them how to make bikes, and they make great bikes.
38:43
And you still, and you still talking about me. The problem is you need to be there. Oh, sure. What the fuck are you guys doing over there? [laughs] Get a room. Jesus Christ, get a room.
38:51
No, I'm- So in China, you need to be on the ground. You need to be paying attention to people, but there's very skilled people there. Me? Yeah. Dude, they make every carbon bike- It's probably-... in the world, okay?
39:02
And it's cheaper to live in a house there. Like, you can't afford to have- And I know what you're gonna say about it... a nice house in America for the same price you can in Taiwan. So- Not making, not making bicycles.
39:11
No. No way. So that's the kinda thing. Fuck outta here. So, okay, guys.
39:15
Where you need $40 an hour in America and do- Arguably, I would say the greatest guy right now making the best bikes by himself in Wisconsin is Dave Wages, Ellis Bikes. Really? He st- he started at Waterford.
39:32
[laughs] Like you know him. Come on. [laughs] Okay. Now I feel like I'm like- Guess what?... I'm like really This guy, are, are you s-... bike price range for better bikes... let me, let me explain.
39:41
Are you saying Wisconsin or United States? He lives in Wisconsin. I feel like I so have to say something. [laughs] But he's the best bikes, handmade bikes in the country?
39:46
My point here is that he's doing the best job that a guy can do. He makes the most high-end- I have to walk away... jewelry bikes. The guy takes the- Steel? What, what it, what frame? All steel. Okay.
39:58
He takes all the lugs, he cuts them, and makes them beautiful. He does his own shit. He sells them for $6,000. And he's got no limited customers? Versatile handmade bikes. But how many customers can you have for a...
40:12
And that's, you know, between six and $10,000 bike. And what kinda market is he trying to hit at that point? He has, he does a great job, believe me. People want his shit.
40:22
Well, he has a very specific market at that point. Yes, because people want shit that looks like jewelry. I will say that O'Gara just ordered a Quiring, another Quiring. I love- Quiring... who doesn't love Scott?
40:34
Well, and he paid premium for that bike. Yeah. And took him a while to get it, and he waited for it, and paid premium. Well, Quiring does a great job. Yeah, and it's that handmade bike. Yep. Where are they out of?
40:44
Michigan. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was gonna say Michigan. Uh, no, they're in, he's in, like, Ishpeming or somewhere in fucking northern Michigan. Oh, yeah. Oh. And he does a great job. Is it a titanium or is it a steel?
40:55
It's ti. It's titanium. Titanium seems to be his- The O'Gara is gonna be a titanium. Yeah, and what do they, what does a frame cost, 25 hundo? No. More. More. [laughs] She's not gonna listen to this show. So [laughs]
41:08
more. Honestly, it was- Alice, put your earbuds in... it was close to four. But here's the deal. O'Gara- With a fork, with a fork... see, O'Gara's, uh, and God loves the man, 'cause he gave me- Oh...
41:16
he gave me a hug today. I know where you're gonna go with this. I know where you're gonna go with this. But he knows exactly- I gave you a hug today... what he wants. Well, but here's the thing.
41:22
A rider like O'Gara- Mm, I don't think he does... the bike matters. The bike will actually make a difference. Yep. Yeah. Where it won't matter with me or you or anybody. 50-year-old guy that can beat anybody anywhere.
41:33
But like- And he doesn't even race, really... he can tell the difference on that bike. He doesn't race. He just rides his bike really- No, he just rides where I can't fucking keep up with him. Right. Yeah. Right.
41:42
Yeah, and you're not a slacker either. I'm not that slow. I'm not slow. I- But I'm not fast. You're not slow. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. You were a very strong rider. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I can't ride with him anymore.
41:51
He's half-ass. So I think, I feel like, like- Well, I haven't rode with O'Gara... he needs to go down. Half-ass. I can't ride with O'Gara. I can't even fucking ride out of his dri- It's better to not half-ass anything...
42:00
I can't even ride out of his driveway downhill, [laughs] which is right next to Spinner's house. Which is right next to O'Gara's driveway. Yeah. [laughs] It's fucking insane. No, we, we ride. We ride.
42:08
My hero, you're like fucking downhill. Yeah, but th- that bike will make a difference to a rider like that. It's not for everybody.
42:14
I, I would not pay that money, because that, that, I'm sure there's value there- Which is fine... but I don't have the skill set to make that bike worth the cost. So in the end, Spinner is one of the number one...
42:24
If you, if you weren't the number one Surly whore in the world, I don't know who is. You loved Surly for a very, very long time. You loved them so long. 'Cause I broke Salsas and I broke Chameleon. Yeah.
42:37
I broke my Santa Cruz, and then I was like, "Well, this is a price point where I can be as fast as I want on this, and I could definitely get a lighter bike, but is that really gonna matter for me?
42:48
Am I gonna pay, like, I, uh..." What'd I say you said? Like, 80% of what I can do, and, like, you can pay a, like, 90% for 10% better or whatever.
42:57
And it's, like, the carbon bikes, which I do have, only because- Oh, carbon fiber... I got sick of that fucking thing sitting in the bike shop by myself. Isn't the only carbon fiber bike you have a fat bike? Yeah.
43:06
Which is actually the bike that makes the least sense to have as a carbon fiber bike. No, it makes, it makes huge sense to have a carbon fiber bike. It's the only road in, uh... You've seen it every time I've rode it.
43:13
First of all- I have test rode many fat bikes... sh- I saw her sh- first- Oh, yeah. Guess who, guess who makes carbon fiber fat bikes anymore? Salsa? No one Nobody. Salsa doesn't? No one. No.
43:24
I don't think anybody makes one anymore. I feel like they're the best ones. Does Salsa still make bikes? Mm. Yeah. If, if, fir- I think they know that...
43:30
if first of all if Ross knew what happened to his company and they knew how QBP fucked it all up, he would be super pissed. Specialized guys still make carbon fiber. No, they don't. They don't. No.
43:41
They hardly, they didn't do any more. They stopped making, they stopped making fat bikes like- Three years a-... 2019 or 2020... yeah, they stopped like three years ago.
43:48
My fat bike that I have right now is the last one that they made. Okay. Yeah. Great. So, so my introduction- There's no more bike races? There's no more-... to Vetta was through my daughter, who's like- Nope. Oh...
43:57
like whatever, whatever. How about LaMaire? LaMaire's making- Yeah. Well- Oh, 100%. LaMaire is where to go. And also 100% through And I have a guy that we can have to podcast with that. I'd love to.
44:06
No, we're not doing a podcast. We should. [laughs] I party with, I party with JP every year, and, uh, he- Yeah, and, and so, and so Vi and I still don't agree with his philosophy. I can't believe- Yeah.
44:13
But Salsa is still making bikes. I'm not talking about mushrooms I did with JP, but I'm not not talking about mushrooms I did with JP. They do a good job. They do a really good job.
44:20
I party with him every year at Rivers Eatery the night before the Birky. Yeah. Yeah, he's the man. I did, and I did when we went up there together, and it's like no, you're still- He's all e-bikes now.
44:31
He rode, he rode- He's, well, he's, he's a market guy. He knows what's gonna sell, and he does it. No, his, his philosophy wasn't e-bikes was, is that he could ride three laps on the trail instead of two laps.
44:43
And one is, I can't. Because, because he had, he had help. So he, he could ride farther, not faster. Well, I mean, yeah. He could ride farther. I know that part. And it was like, it's like- Um, shit... that
44:55
defeats the purpose of riding a bicycle. Does it, though? Yes. It does to me. It doesn't defeat the purpose of selling a bicycle, and that's what he's after. Well, that's just it.
45:06
He's, that he, he's, he's as big a, a retail whore as there is out there, no offense to him or anybody else. It's, it, it, that's what it comes down to is it's do you want to sell more? I mean, okay. The guy sells bikes.
45:23
He's not curious and experienced. He just makes sure that when you ride his bikes that you don't bitch about it, which I don't think anybody does. No, they do a good j- he does a, he's always done a good job. Yeah.
45:33
He's made some of the lightest fat bikes in the world. The people who buy his bikes are happy. [laughs] Oh, no. Uh, careful. No, no, no, no. Oh, I hope that we fry this board and we don't have to do this anymore.
45:45
[laughs] I, can you get me some paper towels? No, I'm good. I'm good. We're good. Yeah, that's all right. It's on roller. Don't worry about it. It'll be fine. You just spilled beer on the podcast station, by the way.
45:53
I'll get over it. I'll get over it eventually. But- That's great pizza, by the way, but- I'm still mocking on. But then, oh, yes. We have to start doing that yet, too. What? To figure out sponsorship. Okay.
46:06
Like we- I think we just, like, make up commercials for people that we... Let's make a D commercial and not tell him. He's not ever gonna listen to this. [laughs] What? Oneohtrix Point Never. The Haymarket.
46:15
[laughs] Thank you. What? This show is sponsored by Oneota Rivers Cycles. Yeah. Deke is the biggest curmudgeon in the world. [laughs] If he says it's good- We love you, Deke... you can believe it.
46:28
As long as we can do that, as long as- It's like, oh, my God... as long as you can do that. Why do you still have a disc brake on your bike? I have, I've heard Haymarket. Yeah. This is sponsored by Cardboard Robot.
46:36
[laughs] We've done, like- Did you see the van he bought? He's had that for a while. That boy's making far too much money. That would make slightly more sense. Brian. He's selling a lot of stuff online. Brian.
46:47
And he's j- he's the same guy he's always been, so you come in and do business with him once, you, he's your friend and you wanna fucking buy from him. God, he was, he...
46:56
So as, as he was a Surly marketing guy for years, and going down to Interbike and being at Bootleg Canyon with Sav was the greatest thing in the world. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know how hard he tried? Zero.
47:12
As, as- That was just who he is... as a bunch of slackers who came in there like, "Oh, we like fat bikes." He's like, "Oh, you guys, ah, blah, blah, blah." He's like- Hey, we have some... that person.
47:21
We have some fat bikes. You can ride them or fuck you. We, yeah. [laughs] We took him into, we took him into, um, Boulder City for six hours, captain, uh, me. I don't remember who else was in that.
47:32
It was, like, four people. I think I was there. We didn't even- We were there. Yeah. Did you, did you ever do it- We didn't even, we didn't come back for, like, six hours. We took their bikes away.
47:39
I think we did a ride anyways. We rode bikes there. [laughs] You were there. And we're like- Oh, you did... yeah. We were- We never hit the trails. [laughs] No, we just went down to Bootleg, and we were- It was a bar...
47:46
and we had beers. Mm-hmm. And then we came back, like, six hours later, and you're like, "Yeah, these are great." [laughs] And they were, but- I've bought several Surlys off of Sav alone. Okay. Toodley-doodley.
47:59
You were riding a Surly. Both of you guys were riding big- I-... big, stupid, fat fucking dummies or whatever they call those things... that, that, now you can, that, that now only come in, in e-bikes. Yep. Oh.
48:09
They're easy. No, no, I can't stand it. I would never... And I look at mine, it's like, oh, I've kinda let mine go and it's getting rusty. And it's like- You don't have that big fat easy yet?
48:20
Those things- I have to take care of it because, no, I don't want a fucking e-bike. I don't want that to be an e-bike. Okay. You know why you don't want one?
48:26
'Cause you're gonna love it, and then you're gonna be like, "I fucking hate these things so much." No, I'm not gonna love it. No.
48:30
No, I feel like e-bike is, like, accepting the fact that you can't legitimately bike anymore. No, you're wrong. Thank you. You're absol- absolutely right.
48:38
No, you're completely- I will not buy an e-bike unless I get severely injured in the fact that I like to be- You're completely off base. Well, agree to disagree, sir. Can I, can I chime in on that as personal experience?
48:48
We live in different places. Here's my deal. I'll say that. You haven't ridden one yet. I have in Bentonville- But let's chat... because, like, to legitimately see all of the trails in Bentonville- And our-...
48:59
I can't do, like, 20 plus- Okay. Yeah. So you rode one. And I'm like, I'm not mad. Like, that's nice. Why is there- Anyways. [laughs] Is that... Whose butt is that right there? [laughs] So you rode one in Bentonville?
49:11
Bentonville I rode a Tracklike e-bike, but it was too much. I was like, I got mad about it because I was like, I don't, I wanna actually go and not have- I just have to, I have to go so much further and do so much more.
49:20
Okay. Yeah. There is, like, the specialized Turbo Levo is not a true e-bike, but it has a slight assist. It is, and it costs $10,000, and you can have it. Yeah. I also own one. [laughs] See, I- Oh.
49:32
You do own this fucker. It's not an e-bike, guys- It is... 'cause it's not like Trek. Oh my God. Are you okay, Sean?
49:38
But- Because Trek can go up to 30 miles per hour, and you don't even have to fucking pedal it But you're, but you're not gonna stay here. You're missing the point here...
49:43
specialized turbo limo, you have to pedal it 100%. Missing the point here. I'm sorry. Okay, what was the point? Bring it back. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow Bring it back. Let's resist. He assists as e-bike.
49:51
Why don't you move you up? Yeah. Okay, thank you. No. You're- It's like there is assist- You guys, we can hear you... and there's e-bike. Turn your microphone. Yeah, what are you... Get a room, you two. Hey, don't.
49:59
You motorboating? Yeah. Oh, for fuck's sake. I'm trying to, yeah. I mean, the mo- she keeps... I don't know how to motorboat with a mic. Thank God this is Chewy's show, not mine. I feel like everybody's blaming on me.
50:09
I don't know how to motorboat with a microphone. I, I'm just totally lost. No, w- you listen to this tomorrow, and you'll know how it works. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] I would love to, you know, um, call this in.
50:16
Hey, you, you listen to this before you send it to me- No, this-... just so you know for sure. No, the dude that I'm sending, I'm just sending it to him- That's fair... going, "Just fucking throw it away."
50:24
Are you gonna do more? Yeah. No, yes. Like, really, I mean, like, in, like, 10 minutes. Yeah, but you're shush. What? Shush. I don't know what's going on.
50:32
[laughs] But I feel like we should get the pizza in- I feel like there's a lot of good points raised in your show, but you should never see the light of day because of how it's done. No, it'll be done. Yeah.
50:40
Uh, 50 minutes. More. Over 50 minutes. I- No... I'd cut it short and just say- Come on. Yeah. Come on. No, let's have more pizza. Yeah. Take the big piece. Take the big piece. I don't know what's happening. Yeah. Sure.
50:51
Every time I think his shows go too long, I think by the end of it- But-... I'm like, "That's a pretty good show." [laughs] Greg, you were bitching about this today, about how far Decorah is from Milwaukee.
51:01
Do you think- Bitch... it's been worth the trip? Well, yeah, obviously. We had- Come back multiple times... we had Dave's Pizza. How, how, how could that not be good? That's all we need to do, I promise you.
51:09
It was, yeah. How are we gonna get Tony here? Uh, never. Get Tony out of his shell. No, no. Unless- I got it. Unless- I got it. I got it. I got it. Okay. Yeah. We'll get him to ride his electric bike here.
51:18
No, the- Just to make sure- No, listen... he has the range. There, there has to- Oh, yeah. There has to be- He wants to do Decorah on the bike. He- If, if there was an e-bike convention here in town, he would maybe come.
51:27
Let's do that. Who would? I can do that. Why do you need an e-bike in Decorah? Who would come? No, because if you did, I would... Because also with me- He has done it...
51:34
it would just put me in jail, because it would be fucking mass murder, because if you brought everybody in to town to do an e-bike thing here, I would just fucking shoot all of you.
51:41
Well, let's have races up the hill to, to, like, Donnybrook. You would first shoot James quickly. Let's have it right- No, but I would like... I, I think- [laughs] Straight up grab James...
51:50
I think a slingshot would work. [laughs] No, what's the... We'll just go up the gravel. No, 'cause I wanna be in it. We'll go up the gravel to towards what's the top of the hill. Van Paanen.
51:59
You mean- And then what's the-... Van Paanen... the gravel pit that's right there by Van Paanen? That's, uh, what? Burnings, Burnings. Burnings Rock products, yeah. So we'll do it from the bottom of the hill to there.
52:10
Burnings, you actually have to ride. You can ride it as fast as you want without one. I want to. And then let's just see how the e-motor goes up. And it, and it accomplished what? It's not about that. No. Yeah.
52:20
But it is. Well, no, it's not. Well, it's not, but now- It accomplished what? You made it to the top of the hill faster. Right. With- No, uh...
52:27
I'll be in shape, and I'll shoot your fat fucking ass because you didn't fucking pedal. I'm pretty sure you, I'm pretty sure you could beat a lot of people on an e-bike.
52:33
I'll still beat you because your e-bike is way heavier than my carbon fiber. Excuse me. Excuse me. Those guys are talking about stuff that's not- A pla- a plastic bike is just as bad as being on an e-bike.
52:42
Yeah, but then I mean- Control your- No... choices. Yes. Shut your face. Control your people. They're yelling. [laughs] I would, I would definitely say that's a different, a different level. No, it's not.
52:50
A carbon bike versus an e-bike, come on. Yeah. That's, that's- It's all shit... I don't like you versus I hate you. It's all shit. [laughs] No, the only reason you say that is 'cause you have a carbon bike now.
52:59
Hey, you have a carbon bike, mister. Oh, that's why, that's why he's bitching. So much hate about all the things that we- I don't like myself. [laughs] I don't like myself either sometimes, to be fair.
53:09
I don't like myself when I bike in Bentonville, but that's okay. Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's whatever. With your e-bike? Bentonville and their fucking dirt sidewalks. It's not an e-bike.
53:16
First of all- I've rode Bentonville a bunch of times. There's dirt sidewalks... first of all, people should not like select their sales. Do you know who, do you know who, do you know who owns Bentonville? Um, Walmart.
53:23
Do you shop at Walmart? No, but it's way different down there. Thank you very much. Have you been there, Sean? Uh, I get the idea. I feel, I feel like- No, but legitimately...
53:33
I want to like- Have you been to Bentonville? 'Cause it's way different. Not in the last 20 years. Like, their Walmarts- Oh, I've never been there... are, like, Trader Joe's. I have never been there. Like,
53:42
like, there are suites of, like, grocery stores. We got them. Versus our, like, commercialized Walmarts is way different. That's a different podcast. Yeah. I'm, it's more like... Bentonville is a different world. Mm.
53:56
Anytime anybody asks me to go to Bentonville, I 100% go. I- Why, what, what about Asheville? What about- Yeah... going to North Carolina- North Carolina... versus Bentonville?
54:06
We can- I will say- Somewhere that has been- Asheville-... 40 years of mountain biking... has actually single track, where Bentonville- Yeah... has dirt sidewalks. Yeah. Um. Oh. I'm not against either one.
54:17
I like the idea- But I will also say this, too. They're just different worlds. Like, the Walmart in Decorah is probably better than you would believe because it is our only store.
54:25
Like, we don't have a Target that- Hey, sometimes you-... like, this is gonna be the best- He's-... type of shit. So I mean, our Walmarts are better than- Not really... a Walmart in a city that has a Target.
54:36
[laughs] Does that sound right? I'm just trying to be sensitive. It does. Yeah, I don't argue that. Targets aren't that great either, if that's your argument. Um... Oh, yeah. Thank God those guys are gone. Yeah.
54:49
[laughs] Let's have a real podcast now. Fuck are they doing? Start over. Yeah, can we- All right, guys. Starting over... can we start, start over? Yeah, fuck that shit. We edit that all out.
54:54
Can you do the show tune and shit, and we'll start now? [sighs] Here, just a second. Dun, dun, dun. Wait. Now, now, now. Oh, wait. Is this how we go out of here? No. Oh. [laughs] [upbeat music] We're going back into it.
55:10
New podcast. Here we go. [laughs] 2.0, Shit- 39.2... Shit Show Podcast. Oh, fuck. Let's go. No, sorry. That was, that was horrible. Hey, Chewy's, Chewy's still on the lamp. Um, I, I, I, yeah.
55:26
I, I knew this was gonna be a shit show. It was probably a horrible one to listen to, but- No... but I will, but I will look at, but I will look at it this way.
55:32
If this was a bad podcast to listen to, there has to be- A few good things that came out of this that we have to discuss more later. Yeah, I'll pick it up.
55:39
I feel like there was a lot of, yeah, a lot of breakout sessions from things that we talked about. Well, and the, and the thing I really want- Breakout session [laughs]... and the thing I really wanna do is- Okay, Mrs.
55:48
Rob Fucking Up... and get this, and, and to get this set up is, is so that Greg can use his stuff in Milwaukee- Mm-hmm... and then our, us here so we can have a conversation that doesn't have gaps. Yeah.
56:00
And that, and that's, that's, that's our next step because- Minding the gap... because, because we all have, like- Minding the gap... an incredible amount of stuff we're all going on. Cale's gone all the time.
56:09
You're gone all the time. Um, Greg is in Milwaukee and can't leave except for if I, I fucking shame him into leaving Milwaukee. [laughs] True. I- I still don't even know why he's here. I, it- Yeah...
56:18
I mean, that was kind of his excuse not to leave. I know. I was- Oh, I'm glad he's here. I know. Well, Gun- So am I... I didn't say it was a complaint... Gun- Wait, Gunner's buying tires. Oh, yeah.
56:25
So instead of shipping them I- Did I pay for your gas to get here? Yeah. The- Basically, yeah... yeah, the 10 bucks- No, I'm s-... I, no, it was- Man. Yeah, between that and- 10 bucks?...
56:32
the free- What does that minivan get? And the free hotel yesterday- Yeah... I'm, I'm basically- Oh... here for free almost. Nice. And- $45 hooker... also pizza. Oh, yeah. Nice. I have 10 bucks worth of pizza.
56:44
Yeah, so, so the next one we, we were gonna come up with, uh, um, uh, some sort of a ad. Wait, what? Fake, real, fake, I don't give a fuck. Let's do a fake cardboard robot- Yep... and make fun of Sav. Make fun of Sav.
56:56
We'll just make fun of our- Oh, first of all, Sav, sh- why, why isn't he sponsoring the show? I can just do a Chase Park- I, you know what? I-... like spinoff and just force Kwik Trip to, like, sponsor us.
57:05
No, I would never have that. I would fucking quit doing the podcast and stab myself in the throat before I would let Kwik Trip do anything. Why? That's pathetic. Because they're fuck...
57:14
They're, they're- I fucking love Kwik Trip. I don't give a sh- I do too... I, yep, I don't. I, I- Why? I don't love them. But Hank- The BP, British Petroleum- But Hank does...
57:23
motherfucking- Hank does 'cause, 'cause [laughs] listen to me.
57:27
When I leave here tomorrow, I'll be driving back to Rochester, and the, and the gas at Kwik Trip in Chatfield will be cheaper by at least 10 cents anybody else in the area, and so I'll stop there. And Hank has hamburger.
57:40
Why- Why do you guys have Kwik Trip- And Ha- and Hank has a-... and not Casey's? And Hank has, and Hank eats a ch- Jesus... and Hank has a cheeseburger, and that fucking dog. So why are you talking shit about Kwik Trip?
57:47
It sounds like you were looking forward to this tomorrow. Not me. He just likes to hate on things- He does... and he doesn't know why he hates on them anymore. Yeah, I, I know exactly why I hate them.
57:54
They run everybody else out of business. He hates on us. No, they don't. Casey's, like, sticks around. Fuck, they don't. Why? Because they do a better job? He, he hates on all of us. You can tell he loves us.
58:02
[laughs] No, they have the, they, no, Kwik Trip has the money to go in and lose money. How is, how does a town of 8,000 people have three? Because any good business practice- Hey, they're all full all the time. Yeah.
58:14
Because- Right... they do a good job... we sell a lot of diesel here, and I te- I don't, I trust Kwik Trip diesel. It's not the same thing as Walmart. I'm just saying.
58:20
I don't put other diesel in my trucks unless I have to. Only- Oh, really? Only Kwik Trip? They have winterized diesel. Yeah. You don't have to put additives, and they fucking, I think they know what they're doing.
58:30
I, it's a Wisconsin company, and I have p- friends of mine in La Crosse that have other jobs, and they still ha- keep their part-time jobs at Kwik Trip just for the benefits. I think they treat their people right.
58:40
They, they do. They do. You walk into a Kwik Trip, it's clean. You know what's in there. You know what the food's gonna be.
58:44
I, I mean, I go to Casey's, and I gotta walk past the, the, the cashier is outside smoking, and you gotta, like, go in through them- Casey's is super ghetto... and there might be pizza. There might not.
58:53
It is Do you remember what Casey's is based? Ames. I'm pretty sure we talked... No, it's Ankeny. Ankeny, yes. Okay, sorry. I'm pretty sure we talked about this before. Is it really? Ankeny sucks. Probably.
59:04
Well, we've talked about that, but I didn't realize that- It's in Iowa, folks... Casey's is based out of Ankeny. It's an Iowa company, yeah. I didn't realize that. Yeah. And I'll pick Wisconsin over Iowa- Give a shit...
59:12
every time except for decor.
59:13
[laughs] So when you're, so when you're going north out of, when you're going north out of Des Moines, they used to have the Casey's, like, uh, corporate area, and they had this humongous aircraft carrier
59:25
which was made to land RC planes on because the guy that owned Casey's was into these, like, World War II, like, 10-foot wingspan planes. Mm-hmm.
59:36
And he wanted to have a thing, and it was really cool as fuck because you could take your plane and go land it on his thing, but- That doesn't make me wanna buy gas from him. I wanna spend- It sacked a mundo...
59:46
or buy fuel from Kwik Trip. I'm just saying. Well, yeah. Maybe. The breakfast sandwiches are great. The coffee's consistent. The breakfast pizza. Uh, the, the breakfast pizza makes me sick.
59:53
I will, I will say Casey's- The pizza makes me wanna shit... keep up with their breakfast game. I don't know. I'm not getting it with that. It's awful. Yeah. I would give, I would give, uh, I would definitely give
1:00:00
Kwik Trip the thing on that. We're a shit show biking podcast talking about gas stations, guys. I, I don't, yeah, I don't get it. I don't. Well, we know we got Big Sexy all the time, and he loves things like- Do we?
1:00:11
Where is he right now? He's, uh, he's in f- he's in the f- he's in Florida in the- Yeah... what do they, what do they call- The land of pain?
1:00:17
Listen to the, listen to the last- Swamp Desert because I listened to it today... fucking show... Swamp Desert. Swamp Desert. He's in the paint of Florida. What do you, what do you think of the show?
1:00:24
Uh, it was a good one. I mean, it's typical. Um- So I, what I, so I love, I love- I say it's good or bad because it's typical... I get to be civil. I can, I can, I can say this on this show.
1:00:33
As long as JK- Now we're doing a podcast talking about our podcast... is sober, I like your show. Yeah. Yeah, right, exactly. We're doing a podcast talking about a podcast.
1:00:38
And he has, and he has been sober for 130 days or whatever now. That's because this is where all aff- Maybe JK's gonna be okay... especially we're all affiliated, yeah. This is a great move.
1:00:45
Here's the deal about, uh, Big Sexy, and I don't know, he'll probably listen to this, but- He was definitely fucking hammered when he called in. But I, so I don't- Oh, you think? You know how I don't edit shows? Yeah.
1:00:54
I edited 161 things- Wait, how many, last-... out of that last Big Sexy show... out of his? No. Yeah. I just- He got to the end, and he, he was like, "I love you guys, and I can't do this without you," blah, blah. Yeah.
1:01:06
And he's like, "I wanna thank you guys," and he goes, "And I wanna thank Dave Fucking Lenz." I was like, "Somebody's th- thanking Dave Lenz on the air." [laughs] Yeah. I mean, he- He's drunk.
1:01:15
[laughs] He, he, but he loves, he loves River West. He loves us, but I do- He does... seriously, if he's on the show, I have to edit out because just it isn't even that he's hammered. It's just his staccato voice
1:01:31
is something that there's too, uh, it- That was easy The, the- Instead of her. Yeah, yeah... yeah. I don't know. It's not, it, it, but okay, sorry Big Sexy, you can go fuck yourself.
1:01:43
I'm gonna edit that shit out, but it costs me three hours to do it, to go through a show, and that's fine because I love him because his stories are great, and I had no idea there was a swamp desert- I didn't either...
1:01:57
in Florida. No. So it's worth having him on the show to- He's a character... go through.
1:02:05
I mean, better than just the three of you guys talking, you guys, when he calls in there it's something else Yeah, it's way better than us talking. I like somebody else talking. And then there's some interaction.
1:02:13
They, like, you stop him and ask questions, and like, you, you back him up a little bit sometimes, which is fine. Be- yeah.
1:02:19
I do seem like you have, you do seem to have under control from where it was, let's say two years ago. Well, like, like JK and Tony don't talk anymore. It's like- To each other? What do you mean? No.
1:02:31
When, when Big Sexy's on the show, I kind of try to lead that. Those guys just sit and listen. Sure... because if they did their shit, that would just turn into a shit show. Oh, yeah. All right, I think that's enough.
1:02:46
No. Really? You wanna go more? I can go- No. Fuck you. You're a- I was ready to be done, like- We're at an hour and two minutes. You can go farther if you want to, buddy... we're like- It's all you...
1:02:54
I was ready to be done with this, like- [laughs] But you said it was good to come to town. 20 minutes. Is there anything you still have to touch on? Yeah, and thank you for coming to town. Yeah.
1:03:00
And, and sorry about how this started out. It was just- And we're gonna go back to Milwaukee... the, the, the- 'Cause Greg can't bring his friends with him ever.
1:03:06
Tony's never gonna come here, and those are the only two that show up... the brilliant idea was- Oh, not me at all... is that we were gonna do this podcast in between drinking, and that didn't work out so well.
1:03:13
Well, we're not going out. And maybe we should go destination. Well, fuck. Everybody else is out drinking already. We're supposed to go beat them at, at my- What's the destination we can...
1:03:20
Where is the next Single Speed? Who won it? Colorado. Colorado. And I, I'm going. We're- Where is it? Oh, fuck. I don't know. Where does Matt live? Uh. Matt Lear. Grand Junction, maybe. I don't know.
1:03:32
Ooh, that's on the other side of the range. But, but, but that- West Slope? Is that Slope? But that doesn't mean that's where he's running it.
1:03:36
I almost went there to go to flight school, 'cause Grand Junction has a really good- But that, that doesn't-... aviation school... that doesn't mean that's where he's running it. Yeah.
1:03:44
Like, uh, the, there's nothing but crickets since the guy's taken over, which means exactly- We did that too, but we didn't, and everybody said the same thing about us, but we didn't announce in February that it was gonna be in August, so.
1:03:54
Right. We gave people plenty of notice. Well, and, and I'm assuming he will. I think he's, I think he has a s- a place in mind and he is... Matt's not stupid.
1:04:03
He's, he, he maybe hasn't run any of these events before, but he knows what he's doing. And, and so it's gonna- Well... right now I'm gonna tell you it's gonna be a good event. It's gonna be fun.
1:04:13
It's just gonna be hard as fuck- Of course... because of where, because of where they're riding it. He wants to beat everybody up. Yeah. No, it's not even that. That's just how they ride out there.
1:04:20
I mean, that's, you're taking it to an area that, that, that's how fucking hard they ride. It's not the distance, it's, it's the terrain. And I- I'm worried about, like- Yeah.
1:04:32
So I mean, he can pick a spot and say, yes, we do this.
1:04:34
But like, just like we did this here, same thing Wisconsin, same thing when in Texas, like you have to have permission, on- you have to have permits, you have to have like buy the trail passes and all that shit.
1:04:44
So there's- Sort of- You-... sort of seems like an anti- Well- Well, and the thing- That's the thing, like we did Wisconsin for 65 bucks...
1:04:49
but, but at the same time, but at the same time in, in Grand Rap- in, in Grand Junction, that might not be that hard to accomplish. I wonder. I, I, I think, I think in the area he's- Is that BLM land or not?
1:04:59
I don't know what that is. I don't know. He- Colorado's pretty much independently owned by normal people. Yeah. Do I go to Wyoming or Idaho or even Montana? That being said, uh- Yeah, I don't know Montana is...
1:05:11
we'll see. Well, l- l- I'm, I'm, I'm not gonna- They're mostly- I'm not dissing the guy... not... for whatever, even though, even though that- Privately owned... that Kansas City- That. Okay, I can finally say it.
1:05:21
Kansas City fucked up big time. Yeah, they- That was the most miserable fucking race in the world. I don't give a f- Why? Why? Because it wasn't even a race.
1:05:28
It was, it was, it was them- Dakota wasn't- It was, it was them bas- Dakota wasn't a racer. We drank double IPAs- Yeah, but people-... until we couldn't walk straight- How did you get on, how did you get on this thing?
1:05:38
... within the first hour. Is that- I'm sure close to the south... pe- people race though. I- Well, those people did it wrong. Goddammit. No, I, I- There were winners. No.
1:05:46
I knew as soon as I showed up that I should not- No, but there was winners and losers at, at our race, but at the same time- They didn't race... the Kansas City guys- They just completed what was suggested...
1:05:54
the Kansas City guys don't get it. They flat don't get it. They're just fucking idiots. It's a Single Speed race. And, and, and now that Matt's taken over, it's just, it's just gone from one idiot to another.
1:06:02
Hey, you know what? At least we're not the idiots this time. We're just like- [laughs] No. Without a doubt we're not the idiots. 'Cause I bet they say the same shit about us. It'll be better next year.
1:06:10
Matt, Matt has no fucking clue what he's got himself into. I'm glad he's doing this. So, um, yeah, where is it going next year? If we get called in, are you gonna do it? In Michigan. Colorado Springs. I don't know.
1:06:19
We've done Texas. I got Texas. Um, Grand Junction. We got called into Texas. We got called into, what are the other one? Two other ones. But we're not doing it anymore. Right. I was stupid enough to win it in Maine.
1:06:29
Oh, no. No, no, no. That was fixed. No, it wasn't. That was. They told us it was fixed. Would you stop? Oh, man. I'm gonna throw my phone at you in a second. No, that was fixed.
1:06:40
Don't forget that was fixed because, because those fuckers told me at Single Speed Kansas City that that was fixed, that that's how you get, that's how we want it. Oh, the, as fixed to them, yeah. Yeah. As fixed, yeah.
1:06:50
Like, fuck all you guys. I, I, I, I, it's far enough down the road that I took a friend of mine to that race, and she does not care if you ever do another Single Speed race again. I'm, I'm pissed I wasn't there.
1:07:04
I can't remember. Was that O'Gara's wedding? Yeah. Yeah.
1:07:07
But the thing is, is that, is that here's the thing that's going on, and I would say it's very small beans, but it's gonna be a lot of fun, is, uh, Mike from, um, uh, Texas is trying to start a, uh, um, a Texas Single Speed race.
1:07:23
And I would go there in a heartbeat because he's gonna make it fun and try to do the best he can. But Texas always has their Single Speed. Nope. They just- Like, they have a whole group down there.
1:07:32
They got groups, but they never had a race. That's fine. They don't care to do races though.
1:07:36
I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna always go to Single Speed USA because- Somebody else is usually running it, so just because you had a bad experience once, somebody else is completely in charge this time Well, without a doubt, and I, and I'm not, and I, and I don't wanna diss Matt in running it.
1:07:48
I think... I w- I, I'm hoping that Matt does a really good job of it. I hope he, uh, gets help. Yeah. Uh- He's got friends. Yeah. Well, he's got... He's, he's in a place where there's, they've done this shit before.
1:07:59
They know what they're doing. Yeah. So i- it shouldn't be a, it shouldn't be a problem. It should be an awesome fucking event. Um, and then where it goes after that, I don't care. I mean, I, I, I...
1:08:09
No, if it comes back to the Midwest, fine, because we won the Shenanigans again. We'll just be in shit water with everybody else because you're fucking lazy. Send it to North Carolina. It hasn't been in fucking Florida.
1:08:18
It hasn't been, you know- Florida's lame. Yeah. Asheville, baby. Well, Asheville would be awesome. 100% But it get, but it'll get like- But no, but- Like Steve Bru- You can't drink and, you can't have beers and Pisco.
1:08:30
Asheville, uh, but Asheville has- What?... so much stuff going on already- Pisco?... they don't need it. Yeah. It's, it's not, it's not something that Asheville- Mm... that Asheville needs.
1:08:36
We'll just do it on Steve Brule's land. Don't worry about it. Montana. Mm, we can do that too. I would go back to Montana. I love Montana. It hasn't been to Montana. No. I think it'll stay that way.
1:08:43
Uh, Wyoming's the other one that's got awesome riding- Yeah... but it's never been there. What do you know about Montana?
1:08:48
Well, I did a gravel race in South Dakota, and then we just went to Montana 'cause it was like right on the border there. Yeah. So you went... Where'd you go in Montana? We just did gravel shenanigans. Where'd you go?
1:09:00
Um- Dude... one time- Gravel roads in Montana, goddammit. End of show... one time- All right, Miles City [laughs] Uh, forget it... we talked about it on a podcast this week. Oh, yeah. Well, you could certainly do that.
1:09:08
All right, new podcast. She's gonna do it with her. All right, we're out of here. Let's get the fuck out of Dodge maybe. Let's get out of- Everybody can figure out, play music... baby. We're done. We are done.
1:09:19
[rock music] [sings along] Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne. This is very good. I'm so wired. What's...
1:09:33
[rock music] Oh. Um, Noah's still in the 21st century. [laughs] Wow, number 37's... What? It's gonna get old, dude. Sucks dog shit. Four months plan. I don't know. It's funny. Yeah. [laughs] It's all up in camera.
1:09:49
That doesn't count as a red. Let's find out. Why would that count? Find you. Yeah. Did they go to, like, the bar or something? Is that what happened? Yeah. Oh, okay. Do I have to- That's good...
1:09:58
do I have to, uh, moderate this? [laughs] Do you have bo- You have a lot of editing to do, Steve... yeah, after they fucked it up, they got bored of it. I'm not gonna fucking edit that though. That was a shit show.
1:10:08
No, it was good. Too many people-
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