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Full Spectrum Cycling
Chewey’s Salon Chair #6 – Arizona Beer Century
Jun 9, 2021
Chewey’s Salon Chair #6 – Arizona Beer Century
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22:15
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Transcript
0:00
[guitar music] All right.
0:37
This is Chewy's Lawn Chair Podcast number, oh, fuck, I don't even remember, four maybe. [laughs] We did a bunch of them. They didn't turn out. This one is, um, pre-beer century. Beers. Is that what we're calling it?
0:52
Um- That's what it's always been called. It's always. Yeah. The, uh, this is the, uh, this is the COVID version. Pat, Brian, and Scott are, are- It's the vaccine version because we skipped last year.
1:01
[laughs] Do you guys, you didn't even do it last year? No, we were in Austin. Oh, that's right. Something else got in the way. Everybody was- Scott was getting married...
1:09
everybody was eating too many tiny pieces of paper and writing. [laughs] Oh, Jesus. So, oh, that's right, I forgot about that. Um, so anyway, this is, this is the 6:00 AM check-in that sort of- Uh- 8:00.
1:24
It's supposed to be- Well, we're running a little late on that one... that's why we're doing a practice run this week. Yeah, 'cause 6:00 AM turned into more like- 7:45... 7:45, yeah.
1:34
Um- And I was drinking beer in my kitchen at 6:00 AM. Yeah. And that's the way... So let's, let's introduce everybody. Pat, say hi first. Hi. Hi, hi Chewy. How you doing? Good. This is Pat. Scott? Hi, boys and girls.
1:48
And Brian? Hello. There. So that's all you need to know. We're only going first names only because we really don't want anybody else to know these people. Um- There you go. No.
1:58
The idea behind this was is we're gonna do a, a, a small podcast to start with and then tie that in with the second one. You guys are actually on the ride next Saturday. So this is Saturday morning.
2:07
I don't even know what day it is. Doesn't matter.
2:09
And that's, that's why we practiced this week because- Well, this is Saturday the 14th, being the normal day that we would leave on this trip, which is why I accidentally booked my hotel room for today- [laughs]...
2:21
rather than next weekend. Did you sort that out? Yes, I did. Okay. They were very polite. Nice. [laughs] Well, they, they kind of have to be, 'cause there's no one else staying at the fucking- Right...
2:31
Holiday Inn in Tucson. This should be the best customer service you ever received. Well, last time they wouldn't even let us bring the bikes in until my wife yelled at them. [laughs] The window's missing from the wall.
2:42
[laughs] All right. So you guys, what bar are you guys at now? It's called Joey's Place. Joey's. Joey's. In Chandler, Arizona. In Chandler. Specifically, we're recording from their back patio that's- The Sugar Shack...
2:55
called The Sugar Shack. How can you get any better than that? We approved. Yeah. There's, there's a ramp and everything. It's Americans with Disabilities approved. 1974. Nice.
3:03
Um, and originally this was held, you started at, uh, uh, Yucca Tap. Normally we start at the Yucca Tap Room- Yeah... uh, in Tempe. However, we were testing this place out, 'cause it's a little further south.
3:16
It's on the route. It's closer to Scott's house. It's more on route for everyone- Yeah... involved, rather than just a few. Perfect.
3:23
'Cause when we, when we start at Yucca, we tend to, uh, stay there, not leave on time, and then, and then we're out on the highway in the dark and that kind of stuff, so.
3:32
Oh, and don't forget, I did this two years ago, so I do remember all that. We never got out of the Yucca for hours. You think it was two years ago? [laughs] I think it was two years ago. Maybe it was three.
3:41
I think it was three, wasn't it? It was a little more than that. We didn't do it last year, the year before. And then the year before was the year with Michelle's, uh, friend in the patchwork clothes with the LLC. Yeah.
3:51
So it was at least two. You know what? It was, it was probably closer to four years ago, 'cause I think it was just before I started going back to coaching hockey. No, I say three.
3:57
Maybe, maybe Chewy's year was the year with Chell's patchwork friend. No, it wasn't. Chewy's year was the year that we got, it was windy. Oh, yeah. Yes.
4:04
The, uh- We got picked up- We got Putnam at the, uh, Galloping Goose- Goose... and then no one could make it past the Congro. Yeah, we stopped and we drank beer at the Galloping Goose in Coolidge- Yep...
4:14
uh, which at night turns into a gay Harley biker bar. Yep. Scott found out. Mm-hmm. Went kind of slow. Are you serious?
4:21
[laughs] I mean, I didn't, I didn't find out firsthand, but I, I just- I don't, I don't imagine, I don't imagine it was good... I did learn about that. He was told.
4:27
He was told that, yeah, yeah, at nighttime that tu- turns into a, uh, a gay biker bar. Maybe they just, maybe there's somebody on Tour. I don't know. That might be a regular.
4:36
[laughs] You know, I could see that being kind of a haven of sorts. Okay. So the, the question is, does this place hold up to, uh, Yucca's standards? Yucca's standards. Uh, it's different. It's different.
4:47
Yucca, Yucca, whatever. It does. Short answer, yes, with an if. Long answer, no, with a but. It's just a different type of vibe, that's all. Here's the deal. At Yucca, they know us, you know?
4:55
Janelle's gonna be very upset when we- But we won't tell her that we... [laughs] Yeah. It, it doesn't matter. We never announce, like, who's coming.
5:02
I, I think- But, like, you know, 6:00 AM, like- I ran, I ran into Janelle with you guys- Yeah... last Saturday. Last Saturday. Yeah. Where were we? I was there Sunday morning. She told me all about it.
5:11
[laughs] Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. Wait, where were we? We were at that whiskey place- Distillery... by your house. Oh, it was a distillery, that's right.
5:18
So- To answer your question, Chewy, uh, it's just a different type of vibe. This is more of a sports bar. Yucca's more of a- Oh, no. Yucca's, Yucca should be where you start then, 'cause the sports bar doesn't cut it.
5:28
Yeah, but we're- Yeah, but at 6:00 in the morning, like, any place could be a haven. True. We're, we're a full hour, uh, down the road- And they have 6:00 AM breakfast... at this point here.
5:36
Ooh, yeah, that's a good point. So- Yep, listen to it... on one hand, Yucca's much more appropriate. On the other hand, this is, uh, we're, we're getting older, you know? Okay.
5:45
So explain to them, anybody that actually listens to this shit, what exactly the ride entails. So the, uh, it's- The original concept- Was, yeah, we, we start in Tempe, and we ride to Tucson.
6:00
And it's modeled after, I don't know if you've ever seen-... a beer mile where you, you run around a track and you chug a beer, and you do that four times for a mile.
6:09
So we started to do this Tempe to Tucson's 120 miles ish, ish. Uh, drink a beer every 10 miles. This is a 12-pack, and so we start in Tempe, ride to Tucson, drink beer every 10 miles or so.
6:22
That was the original plan, and over the years we've kind of found spots where we, we end up stopping for beer, and it's become pretty loosely adhered to, but that's the idea. And, uh, yeah, that's about it.
6:34
So- Stayed at the Hotel City Center in Tucson, which is the- Yeah... most extravagant, dumpiest- By ex-...
6:42
conglomeration of a motel you've ever seen in your entire life By extravagant means they've put up with our shit we- Well, but it's, it's a big place. They have spiral staircases. Yeah.
6:50
[laughs] They've got every tile from the leftover pool jobs of every pool in Tucson in the front of the hotel. [laughs] Let me tell you, in 1967 this place was going off. They throw a mean quinceañera. Oh.
7:00
[laughs] It was- Super quinceañera. That place was built in '67? I don't know. I just imagine, like, in its heyday. [laughs] That was some really good made-up facts right there.
7:08
It was really good because I'd actually fall for that. In its heyday, I imagine it was great. I'd give it 1967. [laughs] Do the internet. [dogs barking] [laughs] We actually, we, uh, we edit the dogs out.
7:23
Can you, can you- Yeah, can you tell? Or, I, so just so you guys know, we're, I'm down in Decorah, and somebody's dog just, um, this house is y- A dog house... uh, Scott and Brian have never been here, but Pat's seen it.
7:33
It's super tiny and- Yeah, I, I know where you is... so I'm like trying to hide in my bedroom and not get any other feedback noise, and I've just got tons of it now because the dog's right there. It's Iowa.
7:43
It is Iowa, that's true. Yeah. Yes. I know small town Iowa. I traded a, a, a holiday sweater for a Decorah Fire Department T-shirt. [laughs] I forgot all about that. I still have that T-shirt. Do you really?
7:56
The fire dep- the Decorah Fire Department? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that, that is one of the, uh, most, I don't know what the word would be, but vaunted, uh, full of accolades, uh, volunteer fire departments in the country.
8:09
Well, that's 'cause Spinner was in it. So you had- Aw. Which is it just the veteran... you had, you had, you have bicycle icons in it. Sav and Spinner were in this one. It's true.
8:18
Eric Siren was the, was captain, I believe. Yep. Just retired, um, maybe a year ago. I mean, from that. He still does, he still owns his company, but he, he's, uh, or his business in town.
8:29
But he, he retired from that, yeah. All right. So you guys are taking off next Saturday morning at between 6:00 and 10:00 in the morning? Yeah. [laughs] Statistically speaking, yeah.
8:42
I've been, can't tell this year that it's gonna be a really strict, uh, starting, s- starting time. Starting- Well, we're gonna meet at Scott's house at, at 5:30 is the idea.
8:53
W- well- And then be here, back here at 6:00 and then take off. My experience down there- What I can tell you guys is that Hotel City Center doesn't come up on a Google search. [laughs] That's probably good to know.
9:06
I can- Oh, wait, but you do have a reservation though, right? Yes, it exists. Okay. [laughs] Okay. But I cannot find- So don't tell me they went under... there is, there is not a Wikipedia about it.
9:15
[laughs] There is not- So Ron, what do you, what do you remember of your- We're actually just sleeping in the dirt... well-... like your, your experience...
9:21
doing, doing drugs off of the ground and not in a safe- So, so here's the best part about this whole thing.
9:26
I'm just sitting here picturing between Scott and, and, and Pat talking, I can see Pat being a ventriloquist with Scott on his lap interrupting him all the time. [laughs] That'd be a really big puppet on his lap. Yeah.
9:39
[laughs] Yeah, well, you're always on his lap anyway, so that's why I just pictured it that way. Yeah, that's where you is. Whatever year it was I came down there, here's what I'm thinking.
9:45
If you guys are gonna start, if y- the, the only way you're gonna get started on time is to not to let anybody stay at Pat's house. I have not made an event down there on time staying at Pat's house, ever.
9:57
[laughs] Well, yeah. Isn't that your fault? Yeah, that's more... So, so- Yeah. Who's the X Factor there? [laughs]...
10:02
for clarity, there was a time that you and Carrie stayed at my house, and I came home from work, and all of my lawn furniture was in my bedroom on the... I don't know what went on. I have no idea how that happened.
10:16
[laughs] Yeah. That's the plan is we'll, nobody stays at, at my house, and we show up at Scott's place at 5:30-ish, have coffee and just take off. Can I also say, can we announce that Pat was late this morning? Yeah.
10:27
Yes. We know. Right? We, we know. No, no. We were recording then. He was late. Well, that's my point.
10:30
You guys, you guys are gonna have to grab Pat on Friday night and drag him to one of your two houses and make him stay there. I was supposed to meet at 5:00 AM this morning.
10:38
That way, that way, well, on the, um, the Eggnog Sunshine Rise, how late were we getting to that? [laughs] Eggnog Sunshine. I like that a lot. Sun- Sunrise. Eggnog Sunrise.
10:47
[laughs] Whatever the hell you called it, I don't remember. Let's go with the name. [laughs] The, uh- Eggnog Sunrise...
10:54
that, that particular, yeah, that- We were actually just looking at a photo from, uh, that particular ride of, uh, Candy's son Drew passed out, or not passed out, but throwing up- He was throwing up...
11:04
throwing up over the, uh, bench while Brian does, uh, some kind of- A suck it... suck it move. [laughs] And, uh, and, uh, my- With a wife holding-...
11:11
my wife is dressed up as a giraffe while, while holding my hand and, uh- Yeah... Cody has a, a Christmas outfit on in the background. It's- It's a whole different ride. [laughs] Yeah.
11:22
There, on one hand we start this ride and ride to Tucson at 6:00 in the morning.
11:25
On the other hand, we do the Eggnog Sunrise and ride up to a, uh, a bar in Scottsdale that's open, uh, from 6:00 to 2:00 AM all day, and, uh, they put Christmas lights up. Lord of Sigel. Yeah. December 1st, right?
11:41
Uh, we- Oh, they, no, they're, they're up there now. Yeah. They sit up- Oh, really? The lights are up. So, so for the record, it is November 14th. I think there's like- Yeah, Halloween...
11:50
for like a month they, they aren't up. Halloween. They do... No, they put the lights up- No, it's, it's for like three months they just keep them up...
11:54
they put the lights up right after Halloween, and they leave them up till the Super Bowl. Wow. There's, there's like November, December, January. They don't turn them off.
12:01
And in between is they're taking down and putting the lights back up. They don't, they never take the lights off. I see what you did there.
12:08
They leave them plugged in 24/7 because they're only closed for four hours a day. [laughs] And it takes them 40 minutes to plug them in and 40 minutes to unplug them, so they just fucking leave them on.
12:17
[laughs] And then they just turn them away, because they're just Walmart lights. Yeah. But yeah, that ride- They should take smelly deeds. We, uh, that is a, that is a, that is a rough ride.
12:26
I think that's harder to accomplish than the Beer Century. No. Personally. I'd agree. It's just, what are you accomplishing? I mean, what is the actual end goal of getting up at sunrise? Not hurting yourself. Beer?
12:39
[laughs] Yeah, not hurting yourself. Beer and not hurting yourself. Not end up in an alley having to get a Heineken. Shutting down. Anyway, so I asked you, Ron, what, what was your, uh,
12:48
most poignant memory of the Beer Century that you attempted? It's e- Well, it had to be- It either has to be, it either has to be...
12:56
Well, the thing I remember the most, because I'm from the Midwest and I hate wind, was riding into the wind all day. [laughs] But, uh- Yeah...
13:03
I, I would- Is, is being from the Midwest something that makes you, uh, dislike wind more than other people? Yeah, do you have more or less wind than average?
13:10
We have, uh, we probably have more, but we can hide from it here. There's no hiding from the wind when you're riding from Tempe to Tucson. Yeah. It's just there, and there's, all you see is desert and- Yeah...
13:21
and scrub brush. And sky. And there's just no hiding from it, so it's like put your head down and ride. People in Tempe. Yeah, it's horrible. I don't like it anywhere near as much. Totally fair.
13:30
Okay, so between that and actually the start was really fun in the morning getting there. Um, this wasn't the ride that I snuck in on everybody and just joined in, was it? Yes, it was. It was.
13:42
So we, so that, the failure in that was is you decided to go to, uh, Boulder's and nobody was gonna be there, and everybody showed up.
13:50
So I think we left Boulder's like at 2:00 in the morning and then had to go ho- you back to your place and get ready for a 6:00 AM ride. If I remember, that's how that went. So we, we were, we were on time, more or less.
14:00
Uh, certain members of the group were- Was that Putnam? Hmm? Or I should say last names. [laughs] Yes. Yeah, no, Putnam was, Putnam was such a puddle when he got, when he finally did get there.
14:11
[laughs] Some members of last- I truly have always hated people with first name, last name. Yeah, so we stayed out too late at Boulder's. Uh, you and I were on time.
14:19
Uh, certain members of the group were late, as I was today, so it's not anything you're- Yeah, but at least you're not puking in the sink.
14:24
I am, yes, and certain members of the group showed up having, uh, partied a little bit harder than they needed to, puking in the sink at the bar. Mm-hmm.
14:33
And, um, helped us up a little bit, but, you know, at the end of the day, it, it, those things happen. Still rode like a champ. [laughs] You know? We still made it to Tucson. Rode like a champ. It's okay.
14:43
Still rode like a champ until the pecan grove, and then I got, uh, straightened. Yeah. [laughs] That's a great advertisement for Greg Lamont bikes. Yes. Just if he's out there, if you're listening, great bikes.
14:51
Yeah, like he, oh, he might, he might eventually listen to this when I start bitching about his, him and carbon bikes. Now he's making carbon e-bikes. We have to do another round. Brian's slacking.
15:00
Yeah, we'll do another. Yeah, we'll do another. Everybody wants another? Yeah, please. Thank you. Do you guys have bourbon by chance? I do. Can we get three of those? Okay. All right.
15:08
All right, since you guys are ordering drinks, we're gonna shut this down and do more of it next time. So this is part one.
15:15
Uh, part two we'll do next Saturday at some point when you guys are on, in the middle of the ride, right? Yeah. When would you like us to call you? As long as we purchase. Um, we'll talk along the way.
15:24
We'll figure it out. I don't know what I got. I might be doing something for Santa Rampage next Saturday, but we'll figure it out. I will talk more along the way. Um- That- Hang tight.
15:31
I'm just gonna close- That sounds good... I'm just gonna close this hunk down, so hang tight and then we'll talk after we get, I turn this off, all right? Yes, you do. Hey, cheers. Huh? Cheers, guys. Thank.
15:39
[laughs] Thanks for calling in. I'll talk to you guys in a bit. Tell Sue I said hi. I will do that. Talk to you guys in a bit. Bye, Ron. Bye. See you guys.
15:51
[outro music] All right.
16:10
Second Saturday, uh, Pat and the boys just called in. They're getting ready to do, they're partway into their ride. Let's, uh, let's bring Pat on and see what he's got to say. Hey, are you there? I am still here. Nice.
16:24
Good to hear you. So how far into the ride are you guys? Uh, how far do you think we are? About, uh, I don't know, 30 miles? 30 miles, something. 30, 35, something like that.
16:32
Oh, you're supposed to be going by beer stops? Is what I would guess. Uh, we're not taking it super strict. We're, uh,
16:38
Chris ordered breakfast and, uh, so his, uh, biscuits and gravy out of a bag came a little late, so we didn't leave, uh, left Chandler about 7:00, and, uh, what's it, 9:30? So, yeah, pretty much on par with usual. So,
16:55
uh, just stopping at the usual spots, and, uh, we'll see what happens. How's the wind? Princess with the p- Uh, it's, it's, uh, straight in our face. Nice. Just as usual. Yep. So- Pretty, pretty usual.
17:06
So we're hoping it spins around about noon and pushes us on, on down there, so we'll see. Perfect. We, uh- I can put you on speaker. Under, we're under the bridge now, so. All right. Let's try it.
17:16
Let's try it and see how it goes. Yeah. All right. Under the bridge. And now you guys are in a giant tunnel. That'd be s- even better yet. Yeah, we're under the highway now. Okay, perfect.
17:25
Um, so what are you guys gonna do when you get into town? Is, is the, the, um, swap meet still on? No, I don't think so. Swap meet. Well, if you think the gem show, it never stops. Yeah, the gem show is constantly...
17:38
Well, I don't know. No, the gem show's- John, I don't know. I don't know... the gem show's 11 months out of the year, isn't it? Yeah, the gem show's pretty much 11 months, yeah. Yeah.
17:48
Yeah, there's, well, we gotta stop and see the goats in the, in the scissor lift in the penthouse at, uh, Ostrich Farm. Do we know that the, uh, the, uh, they had to get rid of the monster truck because it rolled?
17:59
Yeah, Jerry, did you hear this? No. Yeah, they got rid of the monster truck at the Ostrich Farm. What the hell? Yeah. I mean, when, when a group of people get tipped over in it [laughs] Oh, yeah, that'll do it.
18:12
That'll do it. [laughs] Yeah, I don't know. There's, uh... No, we did not, uh, we did, we did not coordinate the ride, uh, with any swap meet.
18:19
Uh, the, the pandemic's kind of cutting down on any options, so we're, we're pretty much just doing it for the ride this year, so.
18:26
So we are, we are doing the Santa Rampage without you, and actually it's a very small version of it. It's actually just, uh, uh, it's just gonna be three of us, uh, Jeremy and I and Paul.
18:37
Um- That's, that's- We just better get dressed in suits and get wasted [laughs]. That is the smallest Rampage I've ever heard of. It is. And, you know, uh, we hope people swing by and drop off toys.
18:46
Um, the Marines', uh, Toys for Tot drive is ending almost a month early, and they're hurting.
18:54
So, um, we've, we, we, [laughs] we, uh, the Grinch went out last night just to pick up a couple things, and happened to stop in to the 63 Club because t- uh, last night was their last night of any of the bars in Minnesota being open.
19:07
So they were- Yeah... draining, they were literally draining their kegs with small groups of people.
19:11
So we stopped in there, and, uh, uh, I, I was walking around in my Grinch costume, and people are like, "So what's up with that?" And they started explaining that's for Toys for Tots.
19:21
[laughs] I think we collected, like, 300 bucks. [laughs] That's, that's good. Yeah. I imagine things are gonna be the same, and we're, we're not really planning to do much down there tonight. It's just, uh- Right.
19:30
Yeah, yeah... riding on down and doing it. But hopefully the wind spins around. Usually, uh, noon-ish it, it swaps on us, and so we're, we're hoping that it pushes us on down there, so. I don't re- Yeah...
19:41
I don't remember the wind ever switching around when I was down there. Yeah, that's because you got in a vehicle. Oh, yeah, that's right, we did, didn't we? 'Cause we were running way behind.
19:49
[laughs] Yeah, the wind is so much in the factor when you're in a truck. Well, I, but I did get out of the truck and finish the ride. That's true, you did. I'll give you that. Even though it was, what?
19:59
Yeah, we- 15 miles? Yeah. The last, uh, 20 is all on a bike path. Yeah. Actually, that's a- That's the goal... and that's a really nice bike path, if nobody's ever been down there and ridden.
20:09
Uh, how, what is the, uh, total distance of that trail? Oh, God, the Loop Trail? Yeah. Well, from w- we pick, from where we pick it up into downtown Tucson, it's about 20 miles. Okay.
20:22
Uh, the, the entire loop itself, I don't know. It's gotta be 60, 80 miles at least I would imagine, 'cause it circumnavigates the entire city. And it, and it's beautiful. It's 20 feet of, wide of asphalt, uh, pavement.
20:37
It's, it's fan- it's cement. It's fantastic. It's the nicest trail I've ever ridden on. It's quite nice. So yeah. What's Scott babbling about? Is Stephanie solo? Hoping the, uh, wind turns around, but, uh,
20:50
if not, you know, whatever. Nope, then just ride recklessly into the wind. Just let, let... Is, is Dirty with you guys? He is. He's here. He's here. But he...
20:59
No, he, he's sitting up on his high horse up top above the bridge. [laughs] Well, put him in front and just everybody draft him all the way into town then. No, he hasn't, he hasn't been up front yet, so.
21:10
That's my point, put him up front now and make him do it the rest of the way into town. Yeah. Dirty, Dirty'll start pulling once the wind spins around, pushing himself, yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Good.
21:23
He heard the butt of the joke. Oh, no. [laughs] Anyway, all right, well, we're gonna take off. All right, go ride recklessly. I will talk to you guys more, uh, probably not today.
21:33
I'll probably talk to you tomorrow and see how things went. Talk to you guys later. Yeah. All right. Sounds good. See you, fellas. See you, too. All right, bye. See ya. So those guys are 30 miles into their 70-mile ride.
21:46
Jeremy's on his way out to our place to get ready to go. We're gonna jump, uh, take our trailer of toys and Christmas decorations and head into town.
21:56
And, uh, we're in essence gonna ride around Rochester and try to, uh, pick up some more toys for Toys for Tots, try to keep things going a little bit as much as we can for, uh, that cause and for Christmas for the kids.
22:11
So, um, we're gonna go ride bike. We will talk to you more in a bit.
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