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Full Spectrum Cycling
Weekly Dose of Fat – Show #117 – Recorded at Electronic Chicklet Studios
Dec 16, 2016
Weekly Dose of Fat – Show #117 – Recorded at Electronic Chicklet Studios
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Transcript
0:02
The Weekly Dose of Fat, show number 117, for Friday, December 16th, this year of the gnome, 2016.
0:13
[upbeat music] Welcome, my friends, to the show that never ends, starring Crazy Chris Daisy and Leftover from the other old crabbier version of this hot mess, Uncle Gomez.
0:36
Aloha. Welcome to the new studio. And over in the producer's alcove- Hello... Mr. Crazy Chris Daisy. That's right, I'm crazy.
0:48
[laughs] And, uh, we, we also have two others in the studio. We have who you heard in the announcement playing, uh, playing JK Li- Livans role, uh, our color guy, Mr., uh,
1:06
what's your name again? My name- [laughs]... Evan Lawson. Ah. Evan's a, a test pilot in the, uh, Bike Black Ribbon Society. Yeah. And, uh, he agreed to join us today.
1:21
And representing racers everywhere is another one of our Bike Black Ribbon test pilots, Mr. Dave Kruger. Ahoy, hoy. [laughs] And, uh, we all have beards, so they got that going for us.
1:37
Yeah, I just wanna take a moment to shout out to my brother Norm, my boy Carter, and my old dirt jump pals from Lane Tech.
1:47
The Weekly Dose of Fat is brought to you by Surly Bikes, maker of the Big Fat Dummy, the Big Fat Larry, and the Gnarled. Learn more about bikes, fat stuff, and freedom at surlybikes.com.
2:05
So let's take turns mispronouncing all of the things that we shall contain in today's fabulous radio program. We, uh, start the show with the rant of the week.
2:20
We stop, drop, and roll into this evening's new segment, The Safety Meeting. Safety. Safety. Everybody be safe.
2:31
We share links from the interwebs, and we also check in with the Fatty Farm Field Report brought to you by Becker Sewing and Design.
2:43
And in our special segment this evening, we talk about how a Fox+ fork crosses over and becomes a fat bike fork as long as it wears a certain type of rim and tire. It's a beautiful thing.
2:58
It's, uh, we, we, we learned about this this week. We learn so much this week from our listeners. It's such a beautiful thing, according to the interwebs.
3:08
The fat bike event of the week this week is held at Silver Lake, and that race is called The Fat Ab- Ab- Abominable, uh, Scramble? Scramble? Uh- Fat Bike Scramble?...
3:23
Fat Bike Abominable- Snow Bike Scramble... Snow Bike Scramble. Snow Bike- Something... Ab- Abominable Snow Bike Scramble. [laughs] God, what, what are they calling this sh- charade? Say Yattie. It used to be called
3:36
something different. It... [laughs] Something different. It, this is a, this is a first-year race run by some people that we know. Good people. We've, we've ridden at these trails. We've- Yes... all of us ridden there.
3:46
Oh, yes. So it's the, uh- Good trails... Silver Lake Industrial Wild... It's Suda, soda. Anyway- So those, those...
3:57
they're, they're gonna have a race, and it's, and it's gonna be the traditional, uh, rally-style race where you have teams, you have solos, three hours, everybody cross-dresses. Um- [laughs] Oh, wait.
4:09
[laughs] That's new this year. It's our weekend. [laughs] So, so the race, again, was called... It, it, it's, it's Suda. And I- I'm pretty sure that's a division of DuPont Chemical.
4:21
[laughs] I'm, I'm sure it, it, and they're, and, and I'm, I'm sorry, what was it called? The, The Yukon Jack Me Off. [laughs] That's what it was called. I'm sorry.
4:30
So the race director, I was at, I was at, uh, Santa Rampage, and the race director is a friend of all of ours, Carrie, uh, Gonzales. And he, like all the Santas there, were having a bag, and he's like, "Yes, do, uh..."
4:45
It was at the distillery, and he was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm having this race. We're gonna bug there." One long word. [laughs] There was a comma somewhere. So of course... And then when we were talking about this, [laughs]
5:00
you rem- you remembered that I called you. It was Global Fat Bike Day. You did. You did. You called me. You wanted to ask me how, how my ride went. [laughs] I started to tell you about it,
5:12
to which you immediately, you cut me off with, "Good talk. Good talk." [laughs] Apparently it wasn't that great of a story. And, [laughs] and then I thought I hung up. [laughs] But you didn't.
5:24
You didn't, and you, and you leaned over to whoever you were talking to and you said, "Who says good talk?" [laughs] And I had to just- What-... I had to sit there and listen to the rest of that... what is wrong with me?
5:35
[laughs] A father to his son after the birds and bees. [laughs] "Good talk." Yeah, good talk. We have a beer. [laughs] So I was obviously, uh- Having a good time... uh, Santa Rampaging. But, uh,
5:50
that's quite a name that they got going on for that, for that event. It's their first year, and it's gonna support the trails there at Silver Lake over there in western Kenosha County in the great state of Wisconsin.
6:03
So, uh- I don't know. I'm lost, man. Well, I, I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine. Here's a link to the event. I'm- [laughs]... pretty sure it's in February, so- Oh yeah, it's February 3rd. 3rd.
6:17
'Cause it's, it goes up against a couple other events, but I think, I think I'm gonna go to that one 'cause I'm gonna win. [laughs] I'm gonna get Dave on my team. I'll just stay Dave.
6:32
And I'm gonna do one lap, just the victory lap, and Dave will do the rest. Dave can do the rest. So- Hey, should we, uh- Sounds like a plan... take a commercial break so I can hit save and make sure this is working?
6:40
[laughs] After this, kids, we're gonna share some recipes and maybe talk about fat bikes. Woo! Nobody panic.
6:50
[upbeat rock music] Have you ever had a saddle sore so long that you named it Doris? Does your gooch feel like something between sandpaper and turkey skin?
7:07
Well, then you need Reamer Brother's Grumble Butter.
7:11
Just apply a big old double finger dab, sploosh, of Reamer Brother's Grumble Butter in your shorts before a long ride, and the process to transform that cold leathery taint into a silky yet bulletproof gooch will begin almost immediately.
7:28
Sploosh. Reamer Brother's Grumble Butter, just try and you'll find out. [upbeat rock music] You're tuned to Fat Bike Radio, and you're listening to- The Weekly Dose of Fat.
7:47
Welcome back to the radio program, ladies and gentlemen. We don't have a special guest, so, uh, I came up with this great idea, like, we would talk about what we did on Global Fat Bike Day.
7:57
That should be pretty fascinating, wouldn't you say? Boring. Oh, shut up. Let's start off with Crazy Chris Daisy. By the way, Chris's wardrobe this evening is supplied by the Gap for Pimps.
8:15
[laughs] I shop there every day. Yeah. What's amazing is he's sitting and he still has a pimp limp. Pimp limp. [laughs] Pimp limp, limp. Mm. Did you want me to talk about something?
8:32
[laughs] I, I'd, I'd like to hear what you did for Global Fat Bike Day. Well, Global Fat Bike Day happens to be my birthday this year. Oh, dude, yes. Yeah, December 3rd is, uh, when I entered into this realm.
8:45
And, uh, so I had a big birthday party and housewarming party, as, uh, you can kinda see by the house we're sitting in, and it was a bash.
8:55
There were lots of fat bikers here, which was cool, and, um, I didn't get a chance to ride unfortunately, 'cause my life has been a hectic fireball of mayhem lately. [laughs] But we'll get there. We'll get there.
9:08
I'm getting a puppy, and it's gonna be my new riding partner, so- [laughs] Nice... maybe we can get into that segment later. Sprocket the Wonder Dog, yeah? Sprocket the Wonder Dog, it will be a reality.
9:17
He comes this Sunday. You said it was an, an Aussie mix? Aussie shepherd and a border collie. Nice. So too smart for its own good and super hyper.
9:27
So around here, the day after Global Fat Bike Day, Mother Nature decided to drop some snow. Did you get out on, on the day after? Mm, I snuck in a couple of, uh, commuter rides.
9:42
I have a new commute now, so my commute got a little bit longer from my- Right on... new house, so I'm six and a half miles, which is a nice little 13-mile round trip. Sounds pretty heavy metal. Metal. I like it.
9:53
[laughs] Yeah. Yeah. I'm good at computating. [laughs] Uh, so a couple times I was able to squeak in that, but I mean, we've been moving into this house and getting all that stuff ready, and been just super crazy.
10:05
And then, um, had a passing of a friend even thrown in there to just muck things up, and yeah, but onward. We're gonna have a good time. And now for the Global Fat Bike Day Racer Corner, Dave Kruger. Zoom.
10:24
[laughs] What'd you do there, racer boy" Well, I led a nice group of folks down to Illinois Beach State Park. We rode around, rode the beach. May or may not have crossed the Dead River. [laughs] Allegedly.
10:40
Things happened- Oh... some of which I can speak about. Nice. Everybody survived. That's always nice. So- Well, in the short term they survived. [laughs] Right. I haven't talked to everybody. Long term,
10:53
nobody gets out of here alive. And did you get out in the snow? 'Cause it snowed, right, the day after. It was, like, just a slap in the face, like, "Yeah, nice plan, dumbass." Well, per, uh, Mr.
11:05
Daisy's, uh, previous comment, there was an epic house party here, and I woke up about 8:00 in the evening- [laughs]... the next day. I could...
11:18
I'd like to throw in that I won a 1:00 in the morning push, or a pull-up contest. 44 years old, thank you very much. Oh. And you did, like, you did 10 or something. And how many did he do? 10. 10. Jesus. Dominating.
11:30
Crunks. Not that it's that great, but hey, I'm old. And then that leaves Lieutenant Larson. Yeah. How was your Global Fat Bike Day? I... We talked about it on the phone.
11:39
I can't remem- [laughs] We, we briefly- It was a good talk... spoke a bit on the phone. It was a good talk. I was, I was talking about it till you got bored with me. [laughs] Uh, we, we had a good... It was a good ride.
11:52
It was an impromptu, impromptu ride, and, uh, I thought there was gonna be all of three of us, uh, our good buddy Byron and Genorm. And I guess Genorm got on the old, uh, interwebs and posted up some-...
12:08
times and places, and when I showed up in the parking lot, there was multiple vehicles and some new faces I never met before. It was fun. I met, uh, one of Chris's buddies, JP. Mm-hmm. Cool guy, very fun.
12:21
Uh, rode some of the Lakewood, you know, well, the weather was absolute shit, you know? Right. The rain that led up to it, so there was not much you could do.
12:31
So we, we hit some of the multi-trail, found some of the Bandito, went over the bars once. [laughs] Nice. So that was, you know, it's, it's always worth it if you go over the bars. Yeah, hell yeah.
12:42
And, uh, yeah, it was a good day. That Norm, the good thing about Norm is he moves from shop to shop, so he's always, he always, he's like a recruiter for the Bike Pack Ribbon Society. That's, that's how we found you.
12:55
This is true. Right? Yeah, and then he disappears as quickly as he appears [laughs]. We seek cyclists with black hearts. Yeah, apparently I was a mem- And strong legs... I was a member before I n- I knew it.
13:07
I didn't even realize. You're born into the Bike Pack Ribbon Society, you aren't chosen, or something like that. I don't know. I, now I... Does anybody wanna know what I did? Not really, no [laughs]. Nope [laughs].
13:22
I can picture it in my mind. I was talking to you on the phone [laughs] like, "Boo!" Yeah. But, uh, I, we went to- Good talk, good talk [laughs] Good talk, Otis. Good talk. Next segment. [laughs] So
13:40
I went to Santa Rampage, along with, with Sven and JK, those guys that used to be on our show [laughs].
13:48
I swear to God, like we, I really forgot to call you, JK, so when you listen to this, I, I didn't think that you'd really wanna drive down to Pleasant Prairie, down to the Cloud Machine here. It's very pleasant.
13:58
Uh, it's very, and it's- Don't blame me, JK. [laughs] It was a last-minute text, I- You should've saw the wad of cash he showed up with. [laughs] Cash does talk here on the Weekly Dose of Fat.
14:13
So th- like 1,500 Santas, dude. The, it was unbelievable because you said it was crap weather for riding off-road, but it was actually a fairly nice, balmy, wintery-ish day on Saturday the 3rd.
14:31
So for riding around town and swilling beer in a smelly Santa suit, you know, it was pretty much prime [laughs]. It was pretty stellar, I'd say. Yeah, so and, uh, on Sunday it snowed, so I rode and had a blast.
14:47
I've been doing a lot of snow riding and taking advantage of the new, the new Castle Gnome Spell, uh, research facility out there.
14:57
I have, uh, millions of dollars of bicycle infrastructure that surrounds my, uh, humble patch there and- Does it have a moat?
15:08
[laughs] Well, we have the Rock River just out, just, just across the highway from us, so that could be quite a moat, actually. Excellent. Excellent. Yeah, blow the bridges, then we'll evolve separate.
15:21
Probably the people on the west side of the river will grow tails. [laughs] Or something. Some sort of adaptation. Well- So, uh, what's next?
15:32
Well, we'd love to learn how all of you celebrated Global Fat Bike Day, so send us an email or shout into a baggie and then attach it to a helium balloon and release it into the four winds. Yes, the four winds [laughs].
15:50
I think we should, uh, take a short break, and then when we come back, we'll figure out what we'll talk about next.
15:56
[upbeat music] So I heard you need a fat bike.
16:16
Come to Zion Cyclery in Zion, Illinois. We have all brands, Trek, Borealis, Salsa, Felt, Surly, and more. Yo, we have all the cold weather gears by 45 NRTH and Bontrager.
16:31
Keep those fingers and toes nice and toasty. We fix bikes also, so you have any problem, brakes, gears, suspension, we have the best mechanics in town. So yeah, visit us at zioncyclery.com.
16:51
You're tuned to Fat Bike Radio. [upbeat music] Welcome back, like welcome back, Carter.
17:09
Ew [laughs]. You stepped in this week's Fatty Farm Field Report. The Fatty Farm Field Report is brought to you by Becker Gear.
17:18
Find Becker Gear on Facebook at facebook.com/beckergear, and on the web at beckergear.com. Hi, Tupper.
17:32
You know, I owe Tupper such a big review on, on his bags 'cause I have... You, you- I've got that down tube, top tube, whatever tube you really wanna put it on I have, like, a fully matching set of luggage for Otis.
17:49
Oh, he's got the best stuff. Um, and you know what I like about his bags are they're wide, you know? I, all the other bags, some of them start out narrow and flare a little bit wide. His are wide.
18:01
And the z- I can get more in that bag than any other frame bag... and the zipper, the zipper, the, the larger zipper, I mean, you could almost submerge that thing.
18:09
It's not waterproof, but it's almost, it seems like it is 'cause my, my stuff don't get wet. We tested the, we tested the 40 below and it, it was letting water in. It was, it, all over.
18:18
But, well, that's for, you know, keeping whatnot. I, I actually keep my repair stuff and tube in there. It doesn't matter if that stuff gets wet. Yeah. But boy, we digress right away. It's impressive. Didn't we?
18:27
Yeah [laughs]. The Fatty Farm Field Report You know, uh, I know Chris wanted to say a word about, uh, internet superstar and fat biker internationale, Mr. Mark Peterson.
18:38
Uh, yeah, apparently going through a little bit of a rough patch, but, uh, we're all here saying, uh, keep the pedal to the metal and keep on keeping on. Everything usually works out. Right on. Right on. Right on.
18:50
Absolutely. Absolutely, brother. Brother Mark. So we're gonna talk about bike stuff. The... We did this, uh, Wren and Bluto shootout, which is kind of a big deal. No one had done it up to this point.
19:07
No one had challenged the Bluto. In fact, I think- Jesus Christ. [laughs] I think, I think most magazines would not have run that test. [chicken clucking] [laughs] But we did.
19:22
Uh, we learned some things, but I'll just go out on this, this tangent that I'm going on about, about this test. Uh, you know, I don't know what I was gonna say. [laughs] [laughs] Yeah.
19:38
This- Well, what, what are the findings?
19:40
What did we, um- Well, the, the, the Bluto was a f- more of a cross-country style fork, and the thing about the test is we didn't have the forks ex- set up exactly the same because, you know, RockShox is...
19:54
didn't just give us a fork to test. That came on a test bike. So we're testing things that we can get our hands on. Right.
20:02
Um, RockShox I'm sure is not happy being tested a shootout situation with a fork that's bigger and beefier and has more travel. Well, nobody wants to, to lose. Right. Well, and they, they, they- Against being beefy...
20:17
they [laughs] They won in the pure cross-country sense. It is a pound lighter than the Wren, but for really gnarly trails like we did the shootout at out in Moab,
20:32
the beefier inverted fork with a much more all-mountain amount of travel, axle to crown, et cetera, um- What you, what you want suspension for, I mean really- Right... really. Well, yeah, yeah.
20:48
I- Different levels of suspension are okay. I mean, the- Right... bike right next to you- That right...
20:51
I'm rocking the Lauf fork and it's other direction from where the Bluto is, so I could see three levels of brutality. Certainly, and that's the lightest version. Yes. I know that, uh, there's...
21:04
just here's a little information. There'll be a couple of top contenders in the Iditarod this year riding a Life. I wouldn't doubt it. So- I really like it.
21:14
[laughs] It is very- So one of the things that we learned in the comments is that there's a Fox plus bike fork, the Talas 36 Plus, uh, that can run a limited rim tire
21:31
fat bike setup, can run a Van Halga on a, a, a, a- 65 millimeter- Marge Lite... Marge Lite Yeah. So- Ooh... that might not be a bad setup.
21:44
And I tell you, Hed just came out with a 65 millimeter wide carbon, so- I just heard that on the last, uh... Wasn't he on the last, last show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was talking about... What was the name of that?
21:58
I can't remember the name. Oh. Um- Uh, the No Big Deal or... 'Cause we were talking, they w- you guys- Yeah... you guys were talking names like ba- I know. I know...
22:08
like, like crazy and- I think it's No Big Deal is their 65 millimeter rim. Um, that might be a really nice setup for summer single track. I got a question, though.
22:19
Why would they jump into a plus bike fork and skip doing a fat bike fork?
22:26
As a bike shop owner, I can tell you that my sales of fat bikes and the percentage of growth year over year are way over what a plus bike is. So you're not gonna make a fat bike fork already? Yeah. Fox- I-... come on.
22:42
What, we're five years past it being a fad? [laughs] It's not a fad, okay? [laughs] Make a fork. I thought the bubble- Make it awesome... burst ed. Come on. [laughs] You know, nothing wrong- I know...
22:52
with a little competition out there. This comment came in from a cat named Peter who took offense to me, like- No... deleting his post. [laughs] No. He's like, "Why did you delete my post?"
23:04
I'm like, "Well, does the thing even work? I've never heard of this before. I mean, I've seen that fork. Will it fit?" I'm like, "Prove your point and then we can talk."
23:13
And he's like, "Yeah, it was on, it's been on MTBR," so congratulations there, MTBR. You guys knew something that we didn't know. Yeah. So- Hmm... we n- we don't know everything. So we found this out.
23:24
It's pretty exciting actually for people that, that wanna run that 65 millimeter rim.
23:30
I think a Van Halga 4.5 is a fine width tire, so I'm saying 160 pound dudes or under, or almost any lady, right, riding a fat bike, that's a fine setup for year-round.
23:44
You could run that sweet buttery up to 110 millimeters of 517 A to C on that fork. So, um, but you could run 160 millimeters travel on that and get all, get all whate- Crazy... porking and shit.
24:03
[laughs] Run over rabbits. So, uh... And the other thing that we found out is that the Fat Lab fork might be, but probably isn't, the same exact fork as the Wren.
24:17
I talked to Russ Johnson at Wren today on my way here, where I missed my exit and got lost and stuff, and I was confused and thought maybe I had Alzheimer's. [laughs] Don't tell me you went down into Illinois. I was...
24:31
No, I made it to Janesville. I was like, "Oh, no. I don't wanna go to Janesville." Anyway, uh, so apparently, maybe
24:44
in the future they'll be able to sell the same fork in Europe that, uh, Wren has the lock down in North America on. Anyway, that's a badass fork. I rode that fork. It didn't even whine once.
24:56
It wasn't even like, "Yeah, get off." I got to ride it for a, a brief moment- Yeah, yeah... up at Kettle- Right... one day. All right. And that was with 150 millimeters of travel. Yeah, yeah.
25:07
In my review I said I was following you down that sand, those sandy drops on the connector. Yeah, nobody should follow me ever, ever. [laughs] Not advisable.
25:17
I did, and I was like catching air and stuff and feeling like I was a young man again. Back in the 20th century, we used to ride bikes down by the railroad tracks. [laughs] Over water bars.
25:36
[laughs] 'Cause we thought they helped. So that's what's got me excited, you know? We, we have a bunch of bikes in the old test bin. You know, Dave, give us, give us a view from the racer's corner.
25:53
What's got you, what's got you excited? My new bike. [laughs] What new bike? What bike? Borealis Crestone. Oh, you- Custom build... you got a Crestone. I did.
26:09
I've been riding an Echo for the past year, and, uh, really liked it, and, uh, decided to turn things up a notch and- Did you go with the Colorado or the Aurora Borealis? Northern Lights. Oh. Yeah. Very cool.
26:23
Oh, I love the Northern Lights. He's got some blue, some purple. My orange fork. [laughs] Eh, for the last race, an orange fork. Brought it down to 21 pounds in an extra large frame though. 21 pounds.
26:36
And what wheels are you running? Heads, right? The carbon Heads, yeah. With what, uh, hubs? I9. Ooh. Yeah. Blangity blang. Like a swarm of angry bees. I try not to mess around, at least too much. Very cool.
26:51
After the race, messing around. [laughs] Before the race, during the race- Dance while you can... and Chris's been doing the, uh, Huge Ass series. Fantastic series, yes.
26:59
He, uh, he bought the, the full package, so he gets a, he gets a menth- mentholated rub, uh, on his chest. Since I signed up really early, basically they pay me to race now, so it's great. Huh, cool.
27:16
Like minimum wage or- Minimum wage, but it's still, you know, it's a paycheck. Right, exactly. [laughs] And beer.
27:22
And, uh, probably the guy that has the most sophisticated at least palate because, you know, owning a bike shop and being a Trek, Jamis, Lake, Fourth Five North, Surly, Salsa-
27:40
Yes... Borealis- Et cetera, et cetera L... et cetera. Dealer. Yep. What, what, what's, what's your number one ride right now?
27:50
Um, well, what's hanging in the studio right now is my current iteration, uh, the Salsa Bear Grease, uh, with a Lauf fork, kind of a custom build.
28:00
Kept a few s- stock parts on it 'cause I just got this house and I can't afford carbon wheels yet, but [laughs] we'll get there. Um- Some Juggernaut Pros on there. Yeah, keep things- I know that's what Dave runs too...
28:14
pretty light and, uh, pretty snappy bike. I like the geometry of the frame, uh, quite a bit. Is that a Wolf Tooth elliptical chainring? It is, in fact, yeah. Have you started to walk funny or- [laughs]
28:29
Funny you should ask. Uh, [laughs] has nothing to do with that. But, uh, I, you know, I don't keep it enough like Garmin and, uh, Strava segments to really notice if it makes any difference.
28:41
[laughs] How's it feel though? It feels good. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, I like it. Um- Is that a SRAM Eagle? No.
28:48
You know, I'm kind of a believer in keeping your drive train parts on the cheaper end on fat bikes because they just go through so much crap and abuse, and I'm not gonna spend $400 on this and $300 on that to listen to sand grind through it for an hour on the way home.
29:07
So sometimes I'll cheap out a little bit in those places. [laughs] Is it, what, what drive train is it? Um, oh gosh, what do I have on there? I think it's just a s- 11 speed, like an X01 on the, uh, derailleur.
29:20
Still, still good stuff. It's good. I mean, I put carbon cranks on it and stuff where it's important, but- Yeah. Oh, yeah... you know. Next, carbon cranks. Mm-hmm. And, um, yeah, I mean, it gives me...
29:30
You know, I've ridden a lot of different fat bikes now, and usually I build up something cool and customer comes in and insists on buying it, and say, "Oh, okay, go ahead and-" What in God's name is that seat post, dude?
29:42
Is... I can see through it. Okay, so that's the Split Ergon post, which, um, I cannot, can't really find anymore and the distributors, uh, don't seem to have. But, uh, yeah, it's, uh, it's got some flex to it.
29:56
I originally had it on my road bike, but- Uh-huh... because this frame's a 27.2 seat post size, uh, I was able to stick that in there and...
30:03
Because my dream bike is to have that Lauf front end suspension on the back end of a frame too. I know. Revealed on show number- Yeah... insert the actual number here. And actually Steve- [laughs]
30:14
Steve, the owner of Borealis, popped in our shop yesterday, so I grilled him on that concept for quite a while. Oh, yeah. Like, "Listen, dude, I want a 23-pound, maintenance-free, lightly suspended racing fat bike."
30:26
I know. "Now make it happen." I think it will look- [laughs]... like an actual crouching black- It would look like some kind of alien, like a, yeah, praying mantis bike. It would just be the coolest thing ever.
30:37
You put some sweet graphics on it. Oh my God, yes, I want it. And did, did Steve, was he- A gasp at, at your brilliance He wasn't showing me his cards, you know? [laughs] Businessman.
30:48
[laughs] He wasn't like, "Where do I sign?" [laughs] We can call it the Daisy Chain. Wasn't there... There's a, there's some giant bomb that has a- Daisy Cutter Oh, the Daisy Cutter Yeah, the Daisy Cutter. Wow.
31:06
Daisy Chain and Daisy Cutter. Also a pretty good IPA. Yes. Excellent beer. Cheers, boys. Cheers. Hey, we have a beer segment this time around, don't we? Salute. Salut.
31:14
'Cause, uh, Dave bought me a fancy beer for my birthday, and no better time than the present to bust some out of it. What is it? Bust, bust away. Dave- We'll do a commercial break- Oh...
31:25
so you can go get it, but- What-... describe it... it's in the fridge Do a tease. [laughs] It's in the fridge. It's, it's in the fridge. Is it outside? Yeah, right outside the door where it's super freaking cold.
31:34
So it's a Firestone Walker 20th Anniversary Ale. Mm. If you know, you know, and if you don't, find out. I think we're about to find out after this.
31:45
[upbeat music] What do Heather Best, Kevin Breitenbach, and Jeff Wooley have in common?
31:52
Well, they're all world record holders and champions of the Iditarod Trail Invitational, and they all chose Becker Frame Bags and Hydration Packs for their championship run.
32:02
Becker Gear's custom designed and purpose-built to fit your bike. Fat, skinny, and everything in between, Becker Gear is the bag maker of champions. You're tuned to Fat Bike Radio.
32:22
So Pr- t- Professor Dave is over there pouring a flight of this fabulous elixir that, uh, he told us is, uh, how many Nome dollars per bottle? If you can find it, it's relatively cheap. It's about $25 a bottle, but, um,
32:41
within a month or two of it, uh, appearing and then disappearing, it, uh, exponentially rises in price. So this is the best way to pay for your kid's college is just buy, like, 2,500 bottles of this.
32:54
[laughs] And try not to drink it. I'll do it for you. [laughs] But you drank them all, Dad. You drank them all. I drank away my boys' education. Oh, it's delicious.
33:09
[laughs] Well, it is barrel-aged. I mean, there's, there's credits on this piece of paper. Yeah, it comes with a certificate. There, there's credits. And if you drink this beer- It's like a movie...
33:19
you actually get smarter. [laughs] I don't have the time. How do you, how do you think I got here? I don't have the time to read all that. You've been drinking a lot of these. Firestone Walker- Walker...
33:31
Brewing Company. Hmm. And now we're gonna actually taste this elixir, this fantastically delicious McVean. All right. Do we have a toast?
33:49
It's, it's dark. Anybody wanna toast this? It's dark. I, I don't have anything- Like America's soul. A clink. Cheers, lads. Salud. Clink, clinkies. [glasses clink] Oh, my God, it's like Santa's elves made it.
34:08
Oh. Whoa. Oh. [laughs] What the shit? Don't mind this. I'm gonna twitch on the floor for a while. I- Wow... I swallowed it, yet it still remains. [laughs] Ooh. So do I...
34:23
When, when does it kick in, like 10 minutes, 15 minutes? [laughs] How long, how long have I got? Hmm. It's already too late. [laughs] 'Cause I have to work tomorrow. If this is what cyanide tastes like, sign me up.
34:42
So- We'll be back in 15. We- [laughs] Let me get one more s- We were talking there, uh- Yeah... in the, uh, mini break- Yeah, I've gotta-... about- I've gotta take my helmet in for a airbag recall, and, uh,
34:56
when I do that, 'cause it happens quite often- [laughs]... apparently these days- Right... I decide to take, uh, one of my single speeds with me, and I go towards Bussey Woods. It's a local m- just f- Forest preserve...
35:13
forest preserve. But it's, it is paved, which is terrible. I'm telling you, back in the day, we used to ride trails there. No, there's no trails there.
35:21
I don't, I don't- Well, there used to be something called, [laughs] seriously, the Satanic Trail System. Ask Norm about it. Norm knows about this? Yeah. Yeah, there's Mount Trashmore, which- How old is Norm?
35:33
Norm is 735 years old. Does he... He's- [laughs] 'Cause it seems like he's been around since the wheel. [laughs] No, Norm's, Norm's like- He, he true the very first wheel... Norm's, like, 10 years older than me or
35:49
somewhere around there. Less than 10 years older than me. Okay. He's in his, he's in the prime of his life. He's fucking faster than me, man, I tell you what.
35:58
[laughs] The guy puts a hurting on, on you when you go riding with him. I know. That's, that's... Yeah, he, he never lost that. Somehow I managed to, like, go beyond that and just ride like a girl all the time.
36:11
[laughs] See, I just try to get him- Yeah, yeah... I try to get him shitfaced. I know some pretty sick girl riders, so let's not throw that around. I know, I know. There's... Sorry, ladies, if that was insulting.
36:18
[laughs] I was trying to insult myself. So, I'm sorry I used the lady thing to do it. [laughs] But for a dude to r- I don't know. I don't know. I ride slow, okay? So you get the joke now. Okay. [laughs] I am the joke.
36:32
Huh? I am the joke. So yeah, the Satanic Trail System, uh, we used to go riding there. We, Norm worked at a shop in downtown Arlington. I worked at the other shop in downtown Arlington.
36:46
And we used to get together and ride from there- Down Arlington Heights Road, all that traffic to get to Busse Woods, right?
36:53
So we would ride around there, and there were off-road sections that connected to the bike trail. But when you get over back by, uh, Alexian Brothers Hospital by Mount Trashmore- All right... you would come across these
37:07
little cards hanging in trees by strings with, like, these weird symbols on them. And then every once in a while, we would come across dogs or cats that were, like, killed- [laughs]... and then dissected. Whoa.
37:25
Oh, that's nice. Nailed to trees. So is that- So- Is that near Mount Trashmore? 'Cause- Mount Trashmore...
37:30
I used to ride, I would ride my, my bike up Mount Trashmore Right, right, 'cause it's the only hill around there, right? It's, yeah, it, it, you could actually, 'cause you could see the power plant then.
37:37
And there's a lot on Mount Trashmore, so if you're sitting at home and you're like, "Goddamn, these son of a bitches been riding up Mount..." I never seen anything out there. This is, like, Elk Grove Village, Illinois.
37:48
Yeah, you could see fucking 290- Yeah... from it, so. So one day, we go out there during the day, and we used to go night riding there, so it'd freak us out when we'd see that stuff. We'd be like, "Ah!"
38:01
[laughs] So we never saw anybody out there until one day we, we came across people, like, chanting and burning candles- No way. No, no, no, no... and shit on- No way... top of Mount Trashmore. Get the fuck out.
38:14
[laughs] I mean, I see, I see, no, I've seen the burn, the burn piles and the- Devil worshipers. What the hell? [laughs] Well, no, I'm not going there at night, not without my pistol.
38:26
[laughs] Either that or some sort of sacrifice. His silver bullets. Maybe I can bring them some of this dark ale- [laughs]... that I'm currently consuming. [laughs] Yeah. It is, it is quite delicious.
38:39
How the fuck am I gonna drive home tonight? That's, what an appropriate subject for the holiday season. [laughs] Cheers. Yeah. All right, everybody.
38:49
Well, it was Ha- the holiday Krampus, so- I'd be just as freaked out- It's the Satanic trails... Yeah, holiday Krampus was the fifth, so we're a bit late. Happy holidays from fatbike.com.
38:56
[laughs] I'd be just as freaked out if I rode up to the top of Mount Trashmore and there was a real live baby Jesus in a cradle there. [laughs] Yeah, definitely. Who the hell left, who the hell left the Son of God
39:10
without a clean diaper? [laughs] Or whatever, you know? And swaddled. [laughs] Evan knows these things. He knows about swaddling. I am a- Oh, that's right. We talked about this... fucking master at the swaddle.
39:25
[laughs] Evan has a young- I can also roll-... a young boy... a hell of a joint. [laughs] I just look at my son like, "It's the largest blunt I've ever seen." Mm. You're being desensitized to fecal matter as we speak.
39:41
It all smells like sweet potato now. [laughs] It changes, though. Right. That's the problem. [laughs] It starts to become real person poop, and, oh, my God. There will be a day. It just stays with you.
39:52
Yeah, there will be a day. [laughs] What was the other thing we were gonna talk about, other than the Satanic trail system? And baby poop? And baby poop. [laughs] What else is there to talk about? Beer.
40:04
Well, we talked about the beer. We did. Rides coming up. Hey, we got a little, um, Fatter By the Lake live podcast coming up in January. Indeed.
40:15
We're gonna, uh, probably, now we're gonna probably have to have a lot of mics, 'cause we'll have this show and all of the celebrities from the old regular show. Mm-hmm. We can share. Can we- We're gonna, we're gonna...
40:31
Oh, yeah, we could share mics. Yeah. And, yeah. Just gonna be a regular old a cappella group at that point. Oh, boy band, fat bike boy band. Ooh, there you go.
40:42
We could get some choreo- uh, some choreographed moves going. I can bust a move. [laughs] Well, in the '90s maybe, before the operation. [laughs] So
40:53
do you think that we've, do you think we've wasted enough of our listeners' time? Oh, no, no, no. We have, we have more time. Really? Yeah. I guess we should mention that's January 8th, right? Oh, January 8th. On Sunday.
41:05
Fatter By the Lake. Yes. Uh, in- Is there gonna be a link? Zion- We'll make a link... Illinois. There is a Facebook event- Mm-hmm... with, uh, with pictures of Sven, Gomez, and JK on the flyer.
41:19
That's not a good way to attract people. [laughs] Yeah. Does it come to your events? [laughs] Put, like, that up there. A lot of screaming and running the other way. Here's the my thing, this...
41:30
Hey, this is the fifth annual one that we're doing, though. This started about the same time as fatbike.com and about the same time I came back to the shop. Mm-hmm.
41:38
And it started as literally two people riding, and I think our attendance last year was about 100 riders. So it's growing and swelling and becoming lots of fun. Oh, yeah, yeah. This, uh, this ride is fun.
41:51
I've, I've done this ride. This is a ride that, that I just moved too far away now to, like, do as a day ride. Ah, I know. Yeah. But man,
41:59
our next show, which is gonna be the week between, uh, the birth of the baby Jesus and the, uh, the Christian New Year- We call it the taint week. [laughs] Yeah.
42:11
[laughs] We're gonna, uh, be back in the fabulous Swanger studio here, and, uh, I'm gonna spend the night, and we're gonna go in the hot tub. We're gonna broadcast live from the hot tub. We should.
42:24
We have to have a celebrity hot tub episode. [laughs] Can we get, like, Ned Overend over here and- We're gonna take-... get him in his skivvies?
42:30
[laughs] We're gonna take a new race flyer photo of the entire Fat Bike Radio staff. [laughs] Just their butts with plastic eyeballs taped to them.
42:41
[laughs] You're gonna have to get a new processor for your stack to take out the bubbles. [laughs] Yeah, so that's next week. But this week's show, as always, sponsored by those, uh, cats at Surly Bikes. Surly Bikes.
42:59
You can learn more about bikes, parts, and the ever-popular chaos. Life in general at Surly. No meta- no metaphysics? [laughs] Chaos.
43:16
You can learn more about Satanic trails at surlybikes.com. Satanic bikes. Chaos.
43:29
Uh, so until next time, kids, go out there and ride your goddamn bike. Go ride your bike. You've been listening to Fat Bike Radio's weekly dose of fat.
43:45
Find us on the web at fat-bike.com/radio. We'll see you next time.
43:53
[upbeat music]
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